Just broke up w/ boyfriend... How can I cheer up? , page 8

reply to post by blackmetalmist

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All my relationships with men were a train wreck. I just want to say give it time.

You did the right thing and I bet someone more appropriate for you, who will treat you with respect will enter your life.

Pamper yourself a bit to cheer up.

reply to post by blackmetalmist

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I hate to say it, but it seems about that time that such a thing may happen. I think I even commented on your thread the other time it happened. And really for me all these stories got boring lifetimes ago.

In all, and to tell the truth, you know I do not think I have yet to meet or seen a female who was not married or had a boyfriend or even boyfriends even if they said otherwise. Even in the random world of the internet I am pretty sure that does not really exist. But you and all the other ones seem to be playing these sort of games every few years or months that it gets to be pretty routine, and really it ain't that hard to cheer up, just like it wouldn't be that hard to find a new boyfriend.

But if you don't quit playing these games that you all play, one day what you sending around will come around and you will not like it. I could tell you your story to you, but I do not think it would matter as such things do not matter. Really getting over it its as simple getting a new hobby, keeping yourself occupied, and again I do not think you or any of them really had any problems getting any new boyfriends, to forget the old ones, which in 99.93745% of such cases that is all that is required or ever needed. The rest and the whole pity party thing is smoke and mirrors and how certain people operate, and by certain people I mean a great majority of females. But like I said, I have yet to meet or see a female who really had problems in that department especially if she was good looking.

Remember what I said last time around in your other thread about fishing, we are all trapped in the traps of our own making.

reply to post by galadofwarthethird

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THANK YOU

reply to post by blackmetalmist

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Hi There. I just read all 8 pages of your thread. SnF.

Here's the facts I've derived from reading, with my own speculations mixed in:

You've been with this guy for 9 years. You are now thirty. That means you were 21 when you first started dating. You don't go out much, and like to stay home. You are a homebody, of sorts, and your biological clock is ticking away. Uhhuh. I see a girl that has invested a lot of time with one guy, and is wanting a family, and soon.

You aren't living together, because you said you had to go pick up some stuff of yours from his house. Interesting. You said earlier in the thread that you were at work, and was on the verge of tearing up. So you have a job, and make a living. Uhhuh. I see someone who is independent and wants the security of a solid relationship.

EvilSadamClone was the only one that asked what he did that was so disrespectful. You declined comment. I'll surmise he was flirting with other girls. There is a whole list of things that a person can do to their partner that is disrespectful. I picked that one because given the long term nature of your relationship, with no solid commitments from either party, is kinda rare nowadays. This is less about the disrespect and more about you laying the law down. You're thirty, a full grown woman. It's time you get what you want out of life. Tell him that.

I'll be the only person in this thread to say to work things out and get back together with him. You've vested years of your life with him. You've had a lot of good times together. You had a spark once, and you fell in love with him. Remember how nice it was to hold him, and snuggle up against him, and watch movies together? Sure, that has faded, but those tears you want to cry? It's really because you love him, and he is being a butthole. Men ARE like that at times.

Remember, for a moment, back to that first kiss, the electricity you felt, and how you knew in your heart that you wanted him to be your partner. As a female, you remember.

Nine years is a long time to be with someone, and there once was some magic, the fire of passion there, otherwise you wouldn't have invested so much time. By the mere fact you didn't publicly fillet him means you still have feelings for him, feelings you haven't addressed in a while, but need to. If he was a complete butthole, you would have told the whole story about him, and yet, you haven't. To me, that means that you still love him. You want to have babies with him, and in desperation to get it through his thick skull, you broke it off.

You won't find solace in being alone. You will only find it in his arms. When you search yourself deep inside, you'll find that you do love him, and you need to have a rational and heartfelt conversation with him about what you really want out of life. Marriage and children are a natural course of action, and I'll suppose that he is around your age, and as scared of that as you are. Not talking about the outcome of your relationship is futile, so grow a pair, and talk to him about what you REALLY want out of life.

Set up a date with him to talk about the direction you want. Talk about the "old times" when you first started dating, and how you both got off track from what a relationship should be. I'll bet that spark is still there, it just needs fanned back into a fire. Take charge, and tell him exactly want you think.

You can work it out, you are wise and intelligent. You know what you want out of life. It's just time to act upon it. You'll cheer up once you remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. Focus on that, and tell him. He's your man. Treat him as such.

Please tell me I am wrong, OK?

Go out, get a hobby, be with your friends and family. Live life for yourself for a while...do what you want, enjoy being your own person.
You have done the right thing - don't look back with regret, look forward with enthusiasm....different advice from above and only you truly know the best course of action, but whatever you do - do it with 100% commitment...either getting back with him, or moving on.
Whatever life throws at you, hope it works out well, and if that is you in your avatar you only look early 20s - obviously never had a paper round as a kid

and if you want a laugh, watch parts 1 and 2 of this video...just awesome.

reply to post by blackmetalmist

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It's just a question of time.You're beautiful anyway,so not much to worry about is there?

reply to post by blackmetalmist

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Get to know yourself. After my most recent break up the realization hit me that I had no idea who I truly was. Because I had spent the majority of my life seeking love outside of me, I forgot to get to know and love me. Best relationship I have ever invested in. Best wishes to you!

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