Hello ATS Members. This is one of my first posts on the site. I am very thankful that there is such a place of open minded people and free
thinkers.
I am in need of your guidance and advice concerning some experiences I have had over the past 5 years that, even with extensive research, I really
can't come to a conclusion as to what it is. Of course it seems that with most paranormal encounters, there are no conclusions. Nonetheless I am sure
some of you will be able to help shed some new light on this area for me. Thank you in advance for the long read and your contributions.
Background: I do not have any known ESP abilities (other than the normal things we all experience), nor do I know of anyone in my immediate or distant
family that has gone through anything similar. I do not come from a spiritual family and have more of a scientific approach to life rather than a
spiritual one. Not that there is a cut and dry line, but I am saying I look for reason/fact/logic. Insert the comment about conclusions in the
paranormal again
My experiences fall somewhere along the lines of out of body experiences or lucid dreams but I am not exactly sure if it can be classified as either.
In 1999, my mother passed away in her sleep unexpectadly. She was in great health; having recently lost weight, stopped smoking, and relocated to live
on a horse ranch (she always rode and loved horses). As anyone can tell you that has lost someone close, it was a very surreal experience. My parents
had divorced when I was 13 so I was the next of kin and had to do all of the creamation arrangements, etc.
Before her passing, I never remember having any experiences like what has occured since.
The first type of dream/experience I had was about 5 days after I returned back to school from the funeral. I had a dream that my mother and I were in
her favorite place. This place is in a small mountain cove in Western North Carolina. We had gone their several times growing up, as it was where my
grandfather's famliy was raised back in the moonshine running days of the late 1800s/early 1900s. She loved the tranquility of the mountains and the
calm power of the river. I too love the mountains for the same type reasons. In the dream we were standing on the edge of the river, on the property
that my grandfather grew up on. Incidentally, when we would go back to the cove, we knew (and still know) the property that he grew up on, so that was
our picnic spot. In the dream I was very upset, and the only thing I remember her saying to me was "Everything is ok, I always knew you would be ok.
I always knew you would be something great. Please don't be sad, You know where I am."
Enter the Weirdness
Before this part of the dream happened, this is what I remember: I woke up in my room. I looked over and saw my clock. I looked up and watched the fan
spin, and I could hear the A/C vent blowing. I thought I was awake for real. Then I tried to move and I could not. After trying to decipher why I
could not move, I had the vision about the river with mom. What I remember is looking down at myself sleeping. I was then looking up at the ceiling
(like I had re-assumed the position on the bed) and I started trying to move. One by one I started trying each limb. I could feel them shaking in the
bed, and could feel sweat building up on my arms and legs from straining to move. After resting again, I tried to move again and this time I was able
to "break free" (if you will) of the restraints. At the time I had a friend staying over and I accidentally hit her in the back with my arm as it
was the leading edge of me trying to force my way out of being held down. She rolled over and proceeded to tell me that my breathing was very erradic
and she thought I was awake because my eyes were open. Mind you that I never sleep with my eyes open.
This dream I basically dismissed as just my soul helping me deal with the loss of my mom. I had pretty much written it off and just complimented the
human imagination for doing something so powerful. I figured the "constraints" were put there to make me feel the emotions that I often hide from. I
felt that the things I heard my mother say were security things that I had heard her say to me countless times and was an easy way for my mind to help
me relate to her leaving. I never thought anything like this would happen again.
I didn't discuss my dream with anyone and moved on with my life. Over the past 4 years, I have had dozens of other dreams like this. In many of them
I am looking at myself from remote locations. In many of them, I can control what I do and am cognizant of my surroundings. I can tell what is also
going on in my local area too. I can see things in my room, smell what the air contains, and even shift my body under the covers. On certain
occasions, I can even switch my point of view from laying on the bed, to looking from above me, almost like at eye level.
The bottom line is they scared me for a while. At first I had no control over the content and could not get out of them. Remember the restraints? They
are there in every vision. I cannot get out of them without seriously concentrating and straining.
I told my current girlfriend about them and asked her to pay attention to me if I fall asleep before she does. For a long time nothing happened. Then
one night I had another one. As a side note precluding this event, I am an extremely light sleeper. So much that I wake up when the air turns on and
off, if only for a second to acknowledge that something has changed. During this vision, she said the same thing as I was told in the past: That my
eyes would open all the way and then close, that she could not wake me up, and that my breathing was shallow at times and very calming and deep at
times.
My last dream/vision/whatever was about 4 months ago. I have no idea what brings them on or what I can do to effect them. I still have trouble
controlling what happens in the dream and cannot break the restraints and wake up on my own power without straining, etc.
I'm almost done I promise
Here is a rundown of what I know and don't know:
- They happen at seemingly random times. I can't start or stop them
- The content varies from events that are current, to fantasy, to events in the future. On a side note, my amount of de ja vu has increased
dramatically since these first happened.
- While scary, I want to investigate them more, find out if I can have more control and possibly use them to explore the capabilities of my mind
- I am extremely open to all suggestions, whether negative or encouraging. Please feel free to tell me I'm an idiot if that is your gut feeling
- I don't know why my mother's passing was the catalyst for them. I rarely dream about her anymore and have never had another dream like the first
one since.
As a follow up to the initial dream: 3 weeks ago my girlfriend and I took a trip into the mountains of North Carolina. On the last day, I took her
down into the cove and we took some pictures of the area and with me on the land my family grew up on. Amazingly, and I kind of went there expecting
this, I found the spot where my dream took place. Instantly I recognized it, as I had been there years before, and it made sense to me as soon as I
came upon it. It was one of the more peaceful moments in my life.
So my question to you friends is: What am I experiencing, if anything? Are these just intense dreams and I'm looking too much into them? I have had a
few tell me they are out of body experiences and with meditation and practice I can use them to help me. I have had others tell me that they are lucid
dreams and that for whatever reason I am now able to have them.
Whatever they are, your information and advice is greatly appreciated. Sorry for the long read. I gave you as much info as I could so maybe you
wouldn't have as many questions.
Thank you!