I have come to conclude that the foundation of love isn't built on trust, or respect, or any of those other things we generally associate with
friendship. I think that love is mostly a product of pheromones. It's a genetic fit. Once we find someone who's a good genetic fit, we unconsciously
smell their funk, and get the squigglies. Don't get me wrong now! The squigglies are not the whole shebang, but without out it, it's just not love.
Allow me to share some personal experience. Last year I had this girl I dated for 6 months. We didn't make it passed the first hurdle. I'm telling
you, from the moment of first eye contact, IT was there. I snuffed her out good
and it was what the doctor ordered! Pretty amazing times
followed. The first month, we honestly said very little, yet flowed gracefully through experience after experience. What little we said, worked.
Well, then came the talking...OMFG, was she....stupid! I mean, not below average intelligence or anything, but she couldn't seem to critically think
anything through. The reasoning she would give was often a one liner, towards things I really wanted to talk about, that were complex. She would just
conclude something that made no damned sense to me, and when I would ask her to explain....a blank look. WTF? It drove me absolutely nuts.
Somehow or another, we continued on. I think it was bedtimes
Sometimes the funk after a lay is not so good...and sometimes it's good enough to
just lie and sweat together in a cuddle without a worry in the world
It was always the latter with her
Well come month 5, we were starting to get fed up with each other. It died out, but ended rather harshly. Each misinterpreted the other, and lied to
some extent, manipulated, etc, etc....she became incredibly passive aggressive, and started finding friends of mine from high school to have bed times
with...so I started cursing her out, and she decided she was somehow in the right to file a restraining order on me when all I was asking for was a
definitive answer on if we were done, and who she had slept with while we were still official. Never got it, just got a freaking restraining order.
So that's my all pheromones, nothing else story.
I have had lots of in between dating, but sometimes it's been the complete opposite. I've had girls where we really connect with each other
intellectually, and it seems as if we could just jump right into the living-together phase without an issue. Then the close interactions...kissing,
bedtimes come...and it's just horrible....not ..gonna ..happen ...
I'm left to conclude that you need a genetic foundation for real love. You need that primal funk. Once you got that, you gotta really get to know the
other person to see if there's compatibility. Without both, the love won't last. You might be able to bare each other long enough to have a family,
but it won't be too pretty.
edit on 14-9-2012 by moniesisfun because: (no reason given)