How do you REALLY overcome depression?

I absolutely do NOT want to go on medication. I already eat extremely healthy (paleo diet) and exercise very regularly.

Had to get that out of the way. Ok. I have been battling extreme depression for the past 6 months or so. It's so bad it is now affecting my health. I've been depressed off and on for 10 years. But it always seems to be circumstantial. While it has been unfortunate circumstances these past 6 months, I have been barely able to cope. Or I haven't been able to cope. I had a suicide attempt in June. Which just made things worse. I shut my life down with no intentions of coming back. And I did... and I haven't been able to pick up the pieces.
Long long story very very short.... I just don't know how to be happy anymore. I desperately want to be happy. But I am not. I hate going to sleep at night because I know I have to get up and face another miserable day. I plead with God to just end my life. Or the universe. I don't even know if I believe in God anymore. I have 2 kids who need me and I feel guilty that I can not give them what they deserve. Or be the mother they deserve.
I have been left and abandoned time and time again. I've been told I will never be good enough over and over. That I'm worthless. A failure. A user (as in using people) and so on. I KNOW that I am none of these things. But I think my subconscious believes those things.

I just want to feel better. I want to live again. Everytime I start, something horrible happens and it just brings me back to how I am feeling now. I feel like there is nothing to do to get out of this cycle. I have tried everything. And nothing has worked. I feel as though I am being buried alive extremely slowly. That's the best way to describe it. Has anyone ever overcome depression without medication? I'm also not one for those positive affirmations they tell you to repeat to yourself. I'm a very cynical person. I don't believe in "God won't give you more than you can handle" If that were true, people wouldn't be trying to commit suicide. Or "everything happens for a reason". I have not seen any reason for some of the recent events in my life. NO MATTER WHAT the alternatives could have been, there has been absolutely NO REASON for some of the things that have happened. And I doubt I will see what the reasons are later on.
Any advice?

I don't know much about psychology, but learning about the ego got rid of my depression.

reply to post by PassedKarma


It really depends upon the underlying cause of our depression. Whether or not it's chemical, situational, or based in any sort of obsessive thought pattern.

Though the initial treatment for depression is pretty cookie cutter - the long term prognosis and treatment plans vary dependent upon the cause and severity of the depression.

As an example, I have a diagnosis as Bipolar II, with a secondary diagnosis of general depressive disorder - but I do fine without anti depressants - provided I have anti anxiety treatment ( PTSD is my primary diagnosis ). If I take my anxiety meds, I'm golden. If I stop? Then I get an avalanche of not just anxiety, but also severe depression.

Each case is individual - and that is what I always stress to others. If you do speak to a doctor he or she will almost surely toss an SSRI at you. These medications work for some, and not for others. If you do seek treatment, be open with your doctor - even if that means being a bit rude. There are a number of treatment options ( medication and otherwise ) that are available - but until you refuse the Proxac train... no doctor will even think about discussing the remaining options with you.

I hope this has helped,

~Heff

What worked for me was keeping yourself occupied by a project of some sorts, something artistic to get that brain ticking.
What really helped with me was writing, i got into a habit of writing what ever was in my head at the end of the night, helps a lot with clearing the head to get a better sleep.
After a while of brushing up my writing skills and improving, i decided to write short stories. Give myself a week to write a story, and then read it at the end on the sunday night, no need to show anyone, but it helped me greatly, having something that i am proud of creating for myself, to prove my worth to myself.

I am now happy and enjoying my life, still writing, in fact i now write Sci-fi and comedy. I love it, but i always remember how i got into writing in the first place. Depression was a bad part of my life, but also the greatest, for it is when i found my talent and hobby.

Everyone is different though, so try out something you find a slight interest in. Try out a new instrument, try writing something (story, poetry, etc etc), build something, make jewelry, paint, etc etc.

You'll find that when you are doing these, you will not be thinking of depression/what ever is upsetting you, a great way of focusing your mind on something productive rather than thinking the same things over and over that just result in a downward spiral of depression.

If you have it try getting out in the sun for 15 minutes at midday try that for a week and let us know how you go the suns rays will be able to change you it is the power of the sun. Try it bet you are better in a week if not let us all know

you are nothing,and you are everything.
you are the dark and the light.
you know so much,but you feel unimportant.
you know good,but you think bad.
you know your different from most people.
you think 'too much'.
your still holding on to your ego.
you are no better,or no worse than any one else.
you are you.
the negative aspects in your life are markers to tell you how to improve yourself for you.
most of the positive comes from main stream media and its a lie that no human can ever realize.
it is a lie.
depressed people are more in touch with reality.
that is why they are depressed. they realize whats going on.
do your soul a favor and fight!!!
fight all the lies that are fed to you to make you feel that you have to live that 'tv' life.
be real.
be you.
be strong.
go out side and love your life!
peace

reply to post by PassedKarma


Sorry for what you are facing. I go through similar stuff. Genetic I have been told. I did not want 'crazy pills' either. However, I stowed my ego to the side and gave it a try along with talking to a shrink, and deep personal reflection. The results were positive. I do not believe the pill I take or the doctor or my self reflection would have done it alone. It was the over all effort.

I do not know your circumstances. However, for me, there is no cure, just my opinion. Everyday is a test. Now I just happen to have the tools to come out on top most of the time.

I wish you the best. And all I can say is 'what will trying something hurt?'

reply to post by PassedKarma

I don't know what I or anyone can say to help, and I know hearing that we all go through ups and downs, gets old. But one thing I can say is you sound like a nice and caring person even in talking about yourself. It's also a good start to feeling better when you can talk about it. Try finding someone, a professional, that you can see and talk with regularly.

I did just that. It started out as couples counseling to save our marriage, but when my wife decided she was smarter than the psychologist and didn't like what he had to say, she left. I continued to go even after our divorce. It was the best decision I could have made. I learned a lot about myself and what must have subliminally been bothering me for a long time.

Having critical parents leaves a lot of damage and that sounds like where you're coming from. Someone along the way was very critical of you and you allowed yourself to believe it. Don't. Take the time to know yourself better and to discover who actually had issues they never dealt with. It lifted a ton off of my shoulders and I figured it out one day as if a switch was thrown to shed light on it. Life still has ups and downs, but I don't. I realized that everyone must overcome some obstacles or disappointments at one time or another, whether self-made or from an outside source, but they aren't insurmountable and they aren't punishment. It's just life.

You'll get there. It's not easy. But as they say, nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Not knowing more about you than what you posted, I know you're worthwhile from the sensitive way you articulated your issues. I also think you have at least two people who believe this as well even if they don't articulate that to you. Do your best!

reply to post by PassedKarma


moon bottom leaf

Sister, listen to me please. I've been there, really. I went through a stage in my life where I was injured in the military overseas. I was eventually flown back to the states where I was repaired partially..and now am a disabled vet. That aside, I laid in a hospital bed with some of the purest pain I think man can feel. A few days after recovering, my then wife was in my room when I awoke. She had an affair on me while deployed, I was crushed. After leaving the hospital, I hopped a train back to my house that we lived before being deployed. I drank, and drank, and drank...depressed. I was on a load of painkillers to boot. I should have died and I didn't care. I was eventually honorably discharged and returned to my hometown. I continued to drink through college, dropped out, and got two DUIs within one month.
I was tired. Life wouldn't quit, but I never gave up. I went to counseling for trauma and PTSD...I took meds for about three years. I returned to college, got a Masters in Business and now run a 9 million dollar company.

The key lessons....

Never give up

Never give in

Discover the underlying issue...I can't say this enough. What's wrong? What is it depressing you? Seek and find out

It's ok to feel depressed, just not long term

It's ok to rely on meds, you can eventually go off them, do not be ashamed of asking for help

Your kids need their MOMMA

THEY NEED YOU. WHO ELSE IS GOING TO PROTECT THEIR KIDS THE WAY A MOM CAN?

Just know that there are people who will help, but you have to seek they're help. They have no clue you're sick.

Guess what? My true love, my wife now, WAS my counselor during my turmoil. We met through counseling

Peace girl, U2U me if you want, we're here...

I'm a mom. A female

I've discovered my posts must sound masculine. I'm always getting mistaken for a man online.

reply to post by PassedKarma


Man or woman, we're all human, we all feel depressed at times. Talk about it, seek some help please?

reply to post by PassedKarma


Retread my post!
Second

I probably will get flamed for this, but I had a mother that dealt with depression, and ended up never overcoming it.

You have two kids, So all your "selfishness" needs to go out the window.

The children are your one and only concern, you don't like medicine? too bad you have kids, do what you need to to get better for them.

If that's going into intensive therapy so be it, if its going on a host of pharmaceuticals to balance you out so be it.

You need to address the issue logically and for your children sake remove your concern about yourself from the picture.

You logically can do the things necessary to better yourself for your children, anything less is a failure to them.

Remove your own self doubt and emotions from it, LOGICALLY and RATIONALLY you need to be there for them, figure out what it will take to do that, go to therapy, what ever it is do it for them.

The first step is seeking help, if your not willing to do that than all your "concern" for your kids is a lie, you are being so selfish that you are wallowing in pity unable to do what is needed for them.

Besides if your life is so worthless that you pray for it to end than whats the harm in trying medication.

reply to post by PassedKarma


Ask your doctor to check your vitamin D levels; sounds stupid (or so I used to think) but Vitamin D can play a huge role in depression. Google vitamin D deficency. It can be caused by not getting out in the sun enough or as in my case malabsorbttion.

Overcome depression by not getting depressed in the first place. Sounds sooo easy right? I know.
I avoid it by laughing at the thought of being sad. Silly yes? Just laugh and have fun for the sake of being happy.
You walk this Earth once in trillions of years, never to walk again. That makes me happy. Enjoy it while you can.

Originally posted by Vinny5036
Sister, listen to me please. I've been there, really. I went through a stage in my life where I was injured in the military overseas. I was eventually flown back to the states where I was repaired partially..and now am a disabled vet. That aside, I laid in a hospital bed with some of the purest pain I think man can feel. A few days after recovering, my then wife was in my room when I awoke. She had an affair on me while deployed, I was crushed. After leaving the hospital, I hopped a train back to my house that we lived before being deployed. I drank, and drank, and drank...depressed. I was on a load of painkillers to boot. I should have died and I didn't care. I was eventually honorably discharged and returned to my hometown. I continued to drink through college, dropped out, and got two DUIs within one month.
I was tired. Life wouldn't quit, but I never gave up. I went to counseling for trauma and PTSD...I took meds for about three years. I returned to college, got a Masters in Business and now run a 9 million dollar company.

The key lessons....

Never give up

Never give in

Discover the underlying issue...I can't say this enough. What's wrong? What is it depressing you? Seek and find out

It's ok to feel depressed, just not long term

It's ok to rely on meds, you can eventually go off them, do not be ashamed of asking for help

Your kids need their MOMMA

THEY NEED YOU. WHO ELSE IS GOING TO PROTECT THEIR KIDS THE WAY A MOM CAN?

Just know that there are people who will help, but you have to seek they're help. They have no clue you're sick.

Guess what? My true love, my wife now, WAS my counselor during my turmoil. We met through counseling

Peace girl, U2U me if you want, we're here...

edit on 11-9-2012 by Vinny5036 because: (no reason given)

You said about everything I would like to have said. Great story BTW.


OP, I don't know what your issue with antidepressants could be, but you don't have to stay on them forever. I found that 5 HTP (an amino acid - something your body makes naturally) has been as helpful as antidepressants.

Good luck.

You mentioned the Paleo diet:

The Paleo Diet The foods allowed on the Paleo diet include seasonal non-starchy vegetables, tubers and fruits, grass-fed meat, free-range chicken, free-range eggs, wild-caught fish and seafood, avocados, olive oil, coconut oil, nuts and seeds. You should avoid eating all processed and refined foods while on the Paleo diet. Foods to eliminate include all grains, especially gluten-containing grains, legumes, dairy products and sugar. This means that bread, breakfast cereals, granola bars, bagels, muffins, baked goods, milk, yogurt, cheese, sweets and desserts are not appropriate for the Paleo eating plan. Read more: www.livestrong.com...

Have you been diagnosed with any illness like Lupus?

Do you take any medications? If so which ones at what dosage/mg?

The reason for the Paleo diet is to remove all of the chemicals introduced into our foods that negatively affect the body. These chemicals can have drastic effects on certain people for different reasons. I am assuming that there is a food source for your depression related to a medical condition which exacerbates it.

You need to keep a record of everything you put in your mouth (food drink meds). Keep this journal to recognize when an episode begins and what contributed to the episode. Begin by removing 1 food item per week that may be suspect. When you have removed all of the possible triggers and you still have the depression it is brain related (physical/psychological).

Make sure you get rid of any processed food and gluten. Eat lots of walnuts fish eggs citrus tofu black beans tuna and antioxidants in general.

Herbs for mental wellness should include Bupleurum Falcatum. It is a Chinese herb easily ordered online.

You need to identify the trigger and avoid it in the future. 99% of all problems can be linked to diet and lack of essential nutrients.

reply to post by PassedKarma

Wouldn't it be great if someone actually had the answer?
Well - probably NOT!
'Cause...you would probably choose the wrong answer from all those that sounded better.
I wonder if the answer might not be - give what you are calling "depression" now...another name.
If depression is the/a lack of "hope"...maybe we're giving too much credence to "hope".
I know - this sounds stupid...but...after a while, you find that you're rarely "let down" by failed expectations - whether they be in people close to you, or in the world at large.
If this goes against your ideology...or...just seems like the worst advice available -- I understand.
...but I won't be disappointed.

reply to post by PassedKarma


I know how you're feeling and just know there are a lot folks out there
that are going through the same kind of emotions.
Hopefully you can find some kind of comfort in knowing that.
I agree with Hefficide, it depends on what the underlying cause of the depression is.
I don't know you personally so it's hard to speculate what that underlying cause may be.

Just so you know, I just went through a MAJOR depression over the summer.
I have dealt with depression on and off for over 10 years now
and it never seems to get any easier.
It seems to effect all other aspects of your life. Career, relationships, social life, everything.
I also know what you're talking about as far as laying in bed wanting things to end.
At nights, I would just just lay there and dwell
on every single negative thing that was going on in/outside of my life.
Some of those things were completely out of my control
yet they still drug me down.

I know you're against taking meds but just know that you don't
have to be on them for the rest of your life.
There are a lot of people out there that only had to use anti depression meds for a short while.
Once they worked out the underlying problem(s), they were able to wean off the meds.
If taking meds were able to get your life back on track then wouldn't
that be worth taking them?

Just so you know, I totally get where you're coming from by not wanting to take meds.
I felt the same way for a looooong time.
Like you, I exhausted other means and had nowhere else to turn.
(exercising and eating healthy).
I also started to self medicate myself with drugs and alcohol which was the WRONG thing to do.
it only made matters worse.

If meds are absolutely out the question then the other thing I suggest is try meditating and
breathing exercises. Many swear by getting rid of depression just through deep breathing.
Check out Bob Frissell's book, "Nothing In This Book Is True But It's Exactly
How Things Are". He talks in depth about different breathing exercises and techniques.

I also agree with someone who posted on here about getting involved with something.
Preferably something creative. Many times, writing/recording music has pulled me out of SO
many holes. I hate to sound cliche but music absolutely saved my life.
Having to much time on your hands can be the worst antidote for depression.

I'm truly sorry you're going though this and if there's anyway I can help just say the word,
Good luck