Originally posted by Realtruth
The point of marriage is supposed to be that a couple intends to spend the rest of their lives together, but the question should be, Why can’t these
same people live together without the throws of religious and legal contracts?
I agree with your point and I can understand your question. And the answer, IMO, is that that is the way this society is. If two people can't deal
with that, they shouldn't get married. If they can, they should if that's their wish. If society's perception about marriage changes, then most
individuals within that society will change their views on it as well. This might go a long way in explaining why marriages typically don't last very
long anymore. Mine lasted 7 years, for the record. I'm not going to go into my reasons, but for the most part, marriage is just a word to most folks.
They don't understand the complexities that a long term relationship is going to bring. But if they get married anyway, they end up phoning it in.
They just go through the motions and "play house". The people that last take it slow to begin with. A courtship can last for months, or years. The
longer you take, the more you get to a how a person really is. That's why living together first is a good idea. It's a preclude of things to come, so
you can get a better idea if you want the things to come, before you make it legal.
You do have people though who do things, like get married, not because that's supposedly the norm in society, but simply because they want to. It's an
option they want to participate in. If they want to spend thousands on a ceremony, that's their perogative. Who am I, or anyone else, to say that the
ceremony itself doesn't help solidify the love that led up to the ceremony? If two people feel more in love because of society's acceptance, what's
wrong with that? They feel more a part of a society that they feel comfortable in and, as a result, they feel more of a bond between themselves.
Some people might say that if you feel better with society's acceptance then you must not be that sure of yourself. I should know, I used to think the
the same way and associate with those kinds of people. But like a fine wine, some of us mature with age. Some of us come to realize that there's
nothing wrong with fitting in with society. It doesn't make you weak, it makes you a part of something bigger than yourself and if you take your own
individuality into the whole thing and let those colors show, you'll be doing your part to help make the society you're in stronger.
And that's where a marriage ceremony comes in. Especially the "bigger than yourself" aspect with the pastor standing in front of everyone leading the
procession with passages from the Bible. Personally, if that day ever comes and the person I want to marry wants a christian type marriage, I would
want us to choose passages that focus on what Jesus said and not "God". "God" sends mixed messages IMO. Jesus is more the "Steady Eddie" type. Love.
that's it. Everything else can go take a hike. And to me, that would be a good foundation on which to start a lifetime together. Something that's
consistent. If my love doesn't want that kind of ceremony, that's fine too. The type of belief that leads to that decision needs to be kept behind
closed doors anyway
People are right though when they state that the marriage license itself is more of a business document then anything else. It's proof to the system
that you're qualified for certain benefits. But again, that's the way our society is and if the majority of people don't agree with it, they need to
change it. I personally don't agree that it should have to be this way, from a business perspective, but people like me are still in the minority in
this society. And as we all know, the majority rules. Can I change it? No. What I can do is give my point of view about it all, not bow to society's
pressure and stand my ground. I'm willing to fit in but I will keep my individuality and I will gain peoples respect by the way I do it. Am I doing it
to change peoples' minds? No, but it's a side benefit I won't argue against and with the respect I've gained, I'll be more apt to be listened to and
be met halfway by people who don't necessarily agree with me. This goes back to the "making society stronger" point I made a while back.
Bottom line: A marriage needs to be based on true love. Marriages come and go and ceremonies last for a day. True love lasts forever. Some people will
try to tear you apart but you have to be stronger then they are, and that's not something a marriage licence will give you. Love will though.
Now if you don't mind, it's bedtime. There's good football on tomorrow.
edit on 9-9-2012 by InTheShadows because: (no reason given)