reply to post by crazyguy2012
Well op I wasnt in a alphabet agency unless you count the U.S. ARMY, or the IN ARNG. However i have some pretty good stories.
I will relay one of my favorites to you. Some details will not be stated because I signed a nondisclosure agreement, and I dont wanna end up with the
kind of heat the Navy Seal guy is getting.
So my unit was sent to the Newport Chemical Depot, in Newport Indiana, back in the early to mid 2000s, they stored at the time the VX nerve agent( the
stuff from the movie the rock with nick cage and shawn connery). Our mission was to guard it until the facility was finished to neutralize the
So one day we are on guard duty ( mostly roamming hardback hummvey patrols, unless we were on QRF that day) out and about in the hummveys, and it was
my turn to man the turret that day. it was I believe mid january, which is quite cold in Indiana, I believe it was -10 or -11 bbrrr. So we are driving
around, and i spotted a enormous buck. it was at least a 12 point. I tell the driver to stop so I can touch it ( the deer were very tame as there was
no hunting on the grounds for over 20 years at that time, so they would just stand there and watch 4 feet from the truck as we drive by without
flinching), so they of course called me a lier. I was like "no really im gonna touch, hell i will ride if i get close enough", so they call a couple
of the other roaming patrols over to watch. we park about 200 feet away from the deer in a turn off behind a bunch of trees.
well now I have a crowd of about 12 bored to death soldiers standing around watching me, as i very slowly creep up on the deer. I got about 30 feet
away when it first noticed me, at which point its head came up and looked directly at me, so i froze and just stood there. It looked back down and
began eating the corn that had dropped in the field again, at which point i again begin to ever so carefully and slowly begin to creep up on it, every
time it looked i froze,asi had always been told their vision was based off movement, so i thought it couldnt see me.
Well when i am finally after about 30 mins within 5 or 6 feet of the thing, one of my buddies grabbed the megaphone out of the truck and everyone of
them assholes started yelling very loudly.
"WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK WHEN ANIMALS ATTACK!!!" well this time it looked up and it didnt look around like the other times, it looked directly at me, it
SAW me. So now i am starring down the barrel of a fully loaded and pissed off, buck that must have been at least 250 LBS maybe even 300. there i stood
for what seemed like an eternity, but was probably only 5 seconds, when it dropped its head and CHARGED!!!!!!!!! OMFG I AM ABOUT TO DIE!!! is all that
i am thinking. When it just jumps over me and runs off, of course I fall to the ground and all but crap my pants. well i get up and dust myself off
and walk back to the hummer, with them all laughing and pointing and saying oh yah --------- you really showed him huh, you sure are a badass, lol.
So I finish dusting myself and my pride off, and finish the shift and return to the barracks, where there are alot of people all crowding into the day
room around one of the guys from my hummer with his laptop....oooohhh nnooo. goes through my mind as i realize that ------- had his laptop and web cam
in his ruck that day at guard mount.
That # had recorded the entire thing and was playing it for everyone to see in all my epic fail. Still to this day, he reminds me about it every time
i see him.
The soldiers all took a vote and i won the unwanted award of " DOUCHE BAG MOVE OF THE DAY"