BRAVE MAN JOKES-

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posted on Sep, 7 2012 @ 11:09 AM
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We all need a good laugh, especially in today's world. Enjoy

1 -How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

3 - Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there..

4 - How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

5 - Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

6 - What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

7 - If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long

8 - Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

9 - Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

10 - Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

11 - If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

12 - Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 99%.....
It's called a Wedding Cake.

13 - Why do men die before their wives?
Because they want to.




posted on Sep, 7 2012 @ 11:11 AM
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reply to post by DarthMuerte
 




Or just old, sexist jokes mostly.

*yawns*

edit on 7/9/12 by blupblup because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 7 2012 @ 11:20 AM
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reply to post by DarthMuerte
 


One half of the membership thinks that was great!



posted on Sep, 7 2012 @ 11:42 AM
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Originally posted by BuckWilder
reply to post by DarthMuerte
 


One half of the membership thinks that was great!

But only 10% will admit it. Those jokes are politically incorrect after all.



posted on Sep, 7 2012 @ 11:46 AM
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reply to post by DarthMuerte
 



They weren't all that great or new to me but this one made me lol,




9 - Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.


Lol.

edit on 7-9-2012 by BuckWilder because: (no reason given)



posted on Sep, 7 2012 @ 12:02 PM
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Originally posted by BuckWilder
reply to post by DarthMuerte
 



They weren't all that great or new to me but this one made me lol,




9 - Why do women have smaller feet than men? It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.


Lol.
I liked #3 - Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there..


and #8 - Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Those two cracked me up.



posted on Sep, 7 2012 @ 06:43 PM
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reply to post by DarthMuerte
 


lol.. ok our turn...


What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game.



What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough



Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.



How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.



What's the smartest thing a man can say? "My wife says..."



Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.



Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract.



What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.



What's the best way to kill a man? Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.



What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted a several times.



How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.



How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."





Jokes from Brain candy



posted on Sep, 7 2012 @ 07:21 PM
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reply to post by OldSchoolMom
 


Gotta give credit where it is due.



posted on Sep, 7 2012 @ 10:02 PM
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I hate to have to change camps but the ladies won this round. Those men jokes were really funny.



posted on Sep, 8 2012 @ 02:57 AM
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Originally posted by mikelkhall
I hate to have to change camps but the ladies won this round. Those men jokes were really funny.


OldSchoolMum's avatar is particularly "pneumatic".

Did she write something.... I didn't notice (I was distracted).






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