Feeling like a loser and afraid of evolving

Since my grannys death in 2008 i stopped in time, i stopped having the willpower to do anything about myself. i feel like a loser, i close myself up in my room and the days go by while i'm growing older (36) and seeing everyone, my friends. my neighbours, my exs, the friends i had in elementary school highschool and university all having a life and i stood still. I feel paralyzed, useless, with fear of taking a chance, trying to run from real situations. I feel useless and worthless and the thing is i stopped fighting for my life. Also i try to rewind and live my life in the past, thinking about the things i could do and haven't.

My fathers death early this year (January) left me even more depressed and without the strenght for trying to succeed. What's the point? I think about dying everyday because everyday is the same for me.

I live with two single brothers (older brother and sister) and i sincerely think we must have done something wrong in life because we are in the same boat, the life of us three is completely meaningless (while our other 2 brothers got married and are now very successful in all areas). I would like to try and help them but i feel helpless myself. I always wonder if it was a curse someone put on us or if it's just in the genes to be weak and depressive.

I tried some anti depressants and went to a shrink but it didnt help. Is there a therapy that works? Maybe yoga or some martial art that can help to achieve a balance (mind body and soul)?

reply to post by Picollo30


Hi Picollo,

Very much from personal experience ( 28 years worth ) of similar issues. I can tell you this. Talk about it. Force yourself to socialize and to openly discuss your feelings and thoughts. This is paramount to conquering them. Holding it in and isolating yourself is toxic and won't help.

Get out - even if online in chat rooms ( ATS has a really good one - link in the bar above ) and just talk to people. Doesn't even have to be about anything specific. Socialization is key.

Oh, and it's OK. It's not your fault. You aren't in this situation because of anything you did. You're body chemistry is likely working against you. Accept that fact, avoid feeling like a failure and like you're different, and just care about yourself enough to realize it's all OK. That is important too.

~Heff

Hi picc,

don't get to down on yourself my friend. It may be that some of those you view as successful suffer from some of the feelings you have, they are just better at hiding them.

Some of the cliched sayings are actually right on the money ; a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, learn to crawl before we can walk and so on. Just start and note your progress as well as your failures, but focus on your progress.
I think 6000 plus years of recorded history bears out the fact that humanity as a whole is flawed and a failure, make a positive difference in someone's life, who knows, you might just change the world.

reply to post by Picollo30

Originally posted by Picollo30
Maybe yoga or some martial art that can help to achieve a balance (mind body and soul)?

Yes, absolutely.

Change your diet and fix your sleeping pattern, if needed.
Start running or do some other kind of cardio training.
Search for the nearest location in your area that offers Krav Maga and start doing it.
Sports are the best(!) treatment for depressions.

You will become more healthy, attractive, self-confident and courageous = less depressive.