How would you defend yourself against a zombie in hand 2 hand combat???

Originally posted by rebellender

Silver Bullets Baby.

...and save the last one for yourself.

Watch the following and study the techniques. Zombies are no match for Stooge Fu. Word.

I would shove my ex in front of him and run!

Originally posted by Druscilla
Rope, thick packing twine, or wire.

loop one end, get it around an arm, throat, anything, then quick tie the other end to something secure.

Wallah. Zombie onna leash.

More zombies might require long lengths of rope, packing twine, or wire where one needs run a circle around a group to get them all caught in a loop, but, it's silent, and doesn't require the exertion of typical 'combat'.

It further does not require any physical contact that could prove infectious.

Additionally, it saves the zombie(s) for later use as a weapon against a bigger threat to your safety during a zombie apocalypse; other people.

Other people that manage to survive will likely be more dangerous than zombies.

edit on 5-9-2012 by Druscilla because: (no reason given)

We have our winner!!!!!

Originally posted by Britguy
Pfffft... Zombies?

What about evil elves, ogres, orks and dragons? Oh wait, they are just fictional things!

What's with the Zombie stuff all the time. Do people seriously believe there are real zombies? Are they on strong medication?

That's the funny thing. Truth is stranger than fiction. I know for a fact, and would wager money, that TPTB have this virus brewed up in a lab somewhere.

The thing I'm unsure about is if it's the kind of virus described in The Zombie Survival Guide, that causes the zombie to keep walking and acting forever, (or as long as there flesh is in tact) or the alternative would be that the zombie is actually just a form of the rabies virus. But unlike the rabies virus when the human gets it they gain extra adreneline to move around, so they could be active for possibly days or weeks, instead of just hours like the regular one. Perhaps something similar to ebola but with the added effect that the host goes manic and desires to bite or attack any living creature it comes into contact with. I'm sure that could easily be brewed up in a g--v lab.

I'm sure this sounds way out in left field but I seriously think it's one of the dooms day devices being concocked for your end of the world experience.

Originally posted by DocHolidaze
if it was your classic slower zombie. I would take off my t shirt off(simmer down ladies

) and use a step behind move wrap my tshirt around its neck from behind and pull the zombie to its back so it lands on the back of its head and procede to stomp assuming i have no open wounds on my legs and ankels if it was a fast zombie i would run untill i had chance to to use my environment to kill him. hypotheticcly speaking.

Smart idea, I like that. Then you can take your pants off too, use those to bind the zombies arms. Then you take your ginch off and use those to bind the zombies feet. So at that point they really can't move. They'd be disabled for a good hr or more. So you just take off and rejoin your buddies. And when they ask why you're naked, you just tell them you met some hot chic, had fun, but then fell asleep and when you awoke she had stole your clothes.

Originally posted by EyesWideShut
In your scenario, I'd run away. In my scenario, I'd shoot it
Now my turn, how would you defend yourself against a Bengal Tiger, Kodiak Bear or Great White Shark in hand 2 hand combat... I want exact techniques as well!

Great white you'd first punch the inside of it's belly until it spits you out. But when it's regurgitating you be sure to grab your legs that it chewed off so you can get them sown back on. And if it goes for another attack you either jab it in the eye ball or you give it your legs and you just would have to get fake legs. If it's not happy with just your legs and it still attacks then you get ROYALLY PISSED OFF and you just are like , I'M HAVING SHARK MEAT FOR DINNER and you go neandrothoal on it's azz and you take it out, by beating it to death, you drag it back to shore and after you patch up your woonds with banana leaves, then you build a big bond fire. You roast that shark on a bbq spif over the hot coals. Then you serve up fresh shark meat the native islander babes as they make you into there cheif for being so brave and taking out the great white!

The bear you just slowly back away. If it's attacking you then you jab it in the eyeball. You put your pointer and middle finger together and jab that hard and fast in it's eye and it should run after that. if it doesn't then you do it's other eye and see what happens.

As for a tiger you yell really loud and shake your arms up and jump around. It will get scared of this strange motion and generally should run away. If it doesn't then you do the same as with the bear.

Originally posted by r2d246

Originally posted by EyesWideShut
In your scenario, I'd run away. In my scenario, I'd shoot it
Now my turn, how would you defend yourself against a Bengal Tiger, Kodiak Bear or Great White Shark in hand 2 hand combat... I want exact techniques as well!

Great white you'd first punch the inside of it's belly until it spits you out. But when it's regurgitating you be sure to grab your legs that it chewed off so you can get them sown back on. And if it goes for another attack you either jab it in the eye ball or you give it your legs and you just would have to get fake legs. If it's not happy with just your legs and it still attacks then you get ROYALLY PISSED OFF and you just are like , I'M HAVING SHARK MEAT FOR DINNER and you go neandrothoal on it's azz and you take it out, by beating it to death, you drag it back to shore and after you patch up your woonds with banana leaves, then you build a big bond fire. You roast that shark on a bbq spif over the hot coals. Then you serve up fresh shark meat the native islander babes as they make you into there cheif for being so brave and taking out the great white!

The bear you just slowly back away. If it's attacking you then you jab it in the eyeball. You put your pointer and middle finger together and jab that hard and fast in it's eye and it should run after that. if it doesn't then you do it's other eye and see what happens.

As for a tiger you yell really loud and shake your arms up and jump around. It will get scared of this strange motion and generally should run away. If it doesn't then you do the same as with the bear.

You should write a book! That was a good read.