George W. Bush Resume
Past Work Experience:
Ran for congress and lost.
Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
Bought an oil company, but could not find any oil in Texas. Company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
Bought a share of the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that seized land using taxpayer money. Ball club acquired ownership
of the ballpark and land paid for by tax dollars.
Most Notable Action: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago Cubs. At the time, I said that Sammy Sosa would never amount to much of a ball player.
With Daddys help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.
Accomplishments:
Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies to a voluntary policy which resulted in Texas becoming the most polluted state in the Union.
Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog-ridden city in America.
Cut taxes on corporations and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.
Accomplishments:
Attacked and occupied two countries.
Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
Set all-time record for largest drop in the history of the stock market.
First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.
Set the record for the most campaign fund-raising trips of any president in US history.
In my first two years in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs.
Cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any president in US history.
Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
Signed more laws and executive orders restricting constitutional civil liberties than any president in US history.
Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
Set the all-time record for the most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the
record for protest against any person in the history of mankind. (
www.hyperreal.org...)
Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
My presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any presidency in US history.
Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (The 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has an Exxon
oil tanker named after her).
First president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
First president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
Created the largest government departmental bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
Set the all-time record for largest annual budget of spending increasesmore than any president in US history.
First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.
First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
Removed more checks and balances with this administration having the least amount of congressional oversight of any administration in US
history.
Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war so by default, the US no longer abides by the Geneva Conventions.
First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
My biggest lifetime campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO
of Enron Corporation).
Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
Took massive world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year, made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the
biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
With a policy of 'disengagement', created the most hostile Israeli-Palestinian relations in at least 30 years.
First US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
stability.
First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations bidding for
government contracts.
Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capitol. After 18 months, I have no
leads and zero suspects.
In the 18 months following the 911 attacks, I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure in the
history of the United States.
Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for all Americans than any other president in US history.
In a little over two years, created the most divided country in decadespossibly the most divided the US has been since the Civil War.
Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category heading straight
down.
Records and References:
At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available)
AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of war.
Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All minutes of meetings for any public corporation where I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.
For personal references please speak to my daddy or Uncle James Bakerthey can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group where they are engaged
in war-profiteering.
was great since I was going to school.
