oo boy, talk about going at the end of your comfort zone. I guess this is where my ego death occurs, if by some chance, I pull off a miracle.
First off, I wasn't looking for a relationship, To be very honest with you I didn't expect any of this. I met her through spiritual groups on
facebook, and we've been talking for quite a few months. We became friends, and found we had alot in common. A very intelligent woman, who loves
nature as much as I do. I normally do not go for long distance relationships , in fact, this was the first time I ever tried anything like this. But
there was something about her I found benevolent. Normally I could pick up peoples intentions like the back of my hand, especially negative one's. It
happens every time I met someone, I could sense the mask, but yet could also sense their good side, though most of the time people keep this hidden.
However with her, I did not sense any of this, this if the first time a girl made me feel safe, and I allowed my guards to drop.
Early this month, we acknowledged feelings towards each other, where a few events took place, but due to privacy I will leave that out, but the end
result was her making a choice to be with me. Now, this took me by surprise, however as much as my heart resisited many women the past 7 years (I
avoided relationships like a plague, I prefered world of warcraft to be honest than to have a gf lmao, im not kidding... 2 failed relationships
filled with drama, sparked this of me, however, I guess when the heart decides on something, the heart eventually overrides the mind.
When it was over, I found myself inside a relationship with her. Well... I don't really like the label "relationship" so as me and her agreed on,
we're just loving partners :p. without the label. The love we have is also unconditional we just happen to share it with eachother.
Now, as to my dilema and my realization after the dust settled. I am 30 years old, with no money, no bank accounts. I owe close to 4k in student
loans, I havent even payed for my credit card which an agency has been calling my house to get me to pay which i never due since I have no job.
The only thing I have working for me is
2 Years worth of university level English major (non graduate)
I am writing a novel
Photoshop skills, (visual art/photoedits/Design (art) websites.)
Keen to psychology (self taught/read books)
No criminal record
I read the requirements for visa's in the U.S and it seems they are... extremely difficult to get. Same vice versa in russia.
System blockages (visa) (U.S side)
You need to have 8,000 in the bank.
have met least once the past 2 years
Plus quite a few trips to moscow for paper work. And back to the U.S.
Total cost: probably around 15k
System blockages (visa) (Russia side)
yea um... I wont even say what that is, but its worse than the U.S.
So, im actually thinking about another option, which is to meet in ecuador. (place seems much easier to live) however, I still have to atleast
gather close to 9k. Good news is, Ecuador needs teachers who teach english, who atleast have a few years of college. hmm.. guess what I have
However, I still want to have faith I can pull off meeting her in U.S soil, I need a miracle guys,
I live in puerto rico btw, unfortunately, on the country side of the island, where getting a job is extremely difficult. Did I mention I don't have a
car? I do love her though, And she does mean alot to me, she helped awaken my heart. So I guess I gotta do what I gotta do.
I need a comeback lmao!
edit on 31-8-2012 by RisenAngel77 because: (no reason given)