What Would You Do if Your Child Said They Wanted To Join the Armed Forces?

Originally posted by FlyersFan
I'd say no problem. Considering the personality of my daughter, I'd encourage her to go into the Air Force. She's rather mild mannered and quiet and that would be best for her. She did express interest in going into the military, but she has medical issues that make that not able to happen.

Go into the Air Force because she's mild mannered and quiet? Never been in a flying squadron, have you?

It's not a bunch of guys sitting around, debating world issues and quietly exploring the universe with their minds.

It's 150+ Type A personalities. And I loved every minute of it.

reply to post by Apollo7


WTF? Fort Bragg is home to the 82nd Airborne. Wanna try jumping out of an aircraft with your bodyweight worth of equipment? Sorry, it ain't gonna happen with an older troop. Fighting in the Infantry is a young man's job.

That being said, you'll see a lot of career Infantry with the same injuries and aches and pains you'll see with a pro football player.

Originally posted by zerozero00
So you're happy for your son to become a paid murderer??

You don't murder in combat. You kill. There is a difference.

Originally posted by zerozero00
Not only that, the risk of mental illness is ridiculously high

Baby Jesus wept. Once again, the whole, "Everyone that goes into the service is or will become a junkie, or homeless, or have PTSD" comment.

Now that's pretty sad.

reply to post by thesmokingman


Student debt could be the next bubble to pop for our economy. The military is the still the best way to avoid owing bank loans for the next fifty years.

I would tell my child its their decision and I would help them weigh the pros and cons about the military.

reply to post by thesmokingman


Student debt could be the next bubble to pop for our economy. The military is the still the best way to avoid owing bank loans for the next fifty years.

I would tell my child its their decision and I would help them weigh the pros and cons about the military.

reply to post by thesmokingman


Student debt could be the next bubble to pop for our economy. The military is the still the best way to avoid owing bank loans for the next fifty years.

I would tell my child its their decision and I would help them weigh the pros and cons about the military.

reply to post by thesmokingman


Student debt could be the next bubble to pop for our economy. The military is the still the best way to avoid owing bank loans for the next fifty years.

I would tell my child its their decision and I would help them weigh the pros and cons about the military.

reply to post by thesmokingman


Celbrate the fact that I don't have to support them through college.

reply to post by zerozero00

You obviously have no idea of that which you are speaking.

reply to post by thesmokingman


Show him pics of veterans who were dismembered in the Afghanistan war after stepping on or driving over I.E.D.s and ask him how he would like not having arms or legs anymore, or possibly being dead.

reply to post by thesmokingman


My child would get love and support if they joined the military OR if they joined OWS and made potty on a cop car.

A parents love and support should NEVER be conditional.

Originally posted by beezzer
reply to post by thesmokingman

 

My child would get love and support if they joined the military OR if they joined OWS and made potty on a cop car.

A parents love and support should NEVER be conditional.

I agree with you, Beez……I should support my kids no matter what they decide.

However, it’s also a parent’s responsibility to give guidance and not let them make big mistakes. This scenario is something I’ve thought about and struggled with even though my children are still very young. 10 years ago I wouldn’t have hesitated in giving my full blessing and support but a lot has changed in my life since then.

I really don’t have an answer for the OP other than I HOPE I will support my kid's decisions and give them the best advice I can at that time; it would be a tough call for me.

S&F OP!

I have a 20 year old and a 14 year old son. I have had this talk with both of them. The older one would never serve. He is quiet, shy, reserved, and openly gay. None of this, in his opinion, would mesh with being a trained killing machine.

The younger one, he is into guns, knives, survival...things that a typical military person would seem to enjoy. But I havve spent his whole life coaching him, talking with him, sharing my viewpoints with him and helping him with his own. My advice to him, in summary, has been thus:

"Son, you have a bright future working for yourself and your fellow humans. When you enlist you no longer work for yourself and other humans, but rather for the government. Unless you have an interest in taking someones life, you have no need to join the military. If you are ever needed to serve, you will know because our borders will be under attack. And when that time comes I have already armed you and trained you in the use of those arms so that you can work through a militia defending our home. The same way you defend our home from any invader"

He believes this himself, abhors the killing, and loves his fellow humans (but believes dogs are far more trustworthy and lovable). My kind of guy.

reply to post by seabag


A parent(s) has 18 years to teach, nurture, love, guide. By the time they are of age to start making decisions, they should be well versed in what the parent(s) would say and/or do.

Will they make mistakes?

Of course!

Do we, as parents, still make mistake?

Damn straight.

Trust and faith are alo large parts of what is intrinsic to what makes up a parent.

In my humble opinion.

Originally posted by beezzer
reply to post by thesmokingman

 

My child would get love and support if they joined the military OR if they joined OWS and made potty on a cop car.

A parents love and support should NEVER be conditional.

Hell no. My love is unconditional. My tolerance has its limitations, and that tolerance is tied directly to my support. My oldest son has learned this, as I have recently told him that if he has no job, I will not be his income source. It only took 1 trip to the church for food for him to realize I was serious, and that my job as a parent was obviously not done even though he was 20. And it scared the crap out of him that he may have to give up his education. I don't expect him to work 40 hours a week and maintain his courseload. But I do expect him to work 20 hours a week and make an effort at being a responsible man. Like I told him, "School is four things, and you can only have three of them at one time: good grades, working, sleeping, partying. One of them is obviously less important.

No, I will always love my son. But I will not always support him. And, during those times when I withdraw my support I am showing the greatest love. Because I am willing to suffer that pain in order to make him a better man. Which is what my job as a parent is, and it will never be complete until I have died.

To believe that you should always support your child is to admit to believing that enabling your childs destruction is within the role of parenting. I contend that the truth is the opposite. And that supporting the act of taking a dump on anyones car is just such an enabling of destruction.

My three sons are not desirable as the oldest is ADHD and the two youngest are high functioning Autistic.

However we've asked them and all three say that if you join the military you give your will over to that of the Government and at one point you may be told to kill someone.

All three said unless someone broke into our house to kill us or in self defense, they could not kill another person.

Sometimes what may seem like a curse is a blessing in disguise.

My husband was in the Navy during Viet Nam because he was going to be drafted, but once they saw he had a high IQ they put him on a aircraft carrier and he never saw any action.

One guy I dated before I knew my husband, came back from Nam and he did see action, on the ground, special forces that cleared the way.

When he came back on leave to visit me, he had changed (not for the better). He was different - hard, cold, tortured.

What would I do?

I would still love them but I have expressed my feelings about war, violence, hate except in the case of some army invading our soil. But going out to fight for the big Corporations to be able to pillage oil and resources from other countries - is in my book, not honorable.

911 and this is my own opinion, was a false flag operation.

I never bought any of my three sons toy guns, bb guns, bows and arrows for "play".

We also did not allow our three sons to watch violent stuff on TV. Now my kids are in their 30's so it was easier back then.

We really limited their TV.

reply to post by beezzer



My job as a parent will never cease. Just like my mother still parents me, and give me advice and insight. Sure, the role shifts as your child matures. And the relationship can be rewarding and enriching, especially once the child realizes that they CAN learn from their parents and begins to put all the years and advice and training into action.

If you think you are done parenting at 18, just wait until your own kids have kids. As a parent, your duties change drastically, as you have to help your child learn how to tend to another life. And as a grandparent....I don't even have a context to put that in as I am not a grandparent. But I can imagine that the role is kind of like "parental consultant", where you still guide the child but don't step on your own kids toes.

Regardless, and my point is, parenting is a lifetime duty. The saying I have heard before is, "You are a successful human once you have grandchildren" That seems a decent, if incomplete, description.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan
Then allow me to clarify. There is a difference between support and enable.

In one, you are encouraging him to make the right decisions.

In the other, you're encouraging him to make the wrong ones.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


Yep, I thought once they got older, I would worry less - boy was I wrong.............my middle child just turned 34 August 27th !!!!

From cradle to grave you never, once you hold that little precious bundle in your arms, never stop worrying about and loving them.

And having a grandchild is a real blessing.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan
After 18, you can advise, support (not enable), encourage.

But discipline, etc?

My oldest is 20. He went hungry a few times before he found a work ethic. I think those times were harder on my wife and I than hm.