Originally posted by arpgme
This was a brave and interesting post to read. It made me better understand how people like you think and for that I thank you very much. Im reading
your post and I notice quite a few differences compared to how I think myself, which is very interesting.
Your key points as I understand them:
1) People who do service to others work hard (is spinning on their heads) to make others happy. Why do that when they can make themself happy by
doing service to self? Why do they do service to others for their approval?
Well, I get my best feelings of happiness when I can make a difference for others. I love making other people smile and laugh, and I love seeing them
being happy and spreading a good mood. So far, I have not really seen happiness in a group where people are working for self, because it becomes a
game about using other people to get yourself in a position where you get advantages and the others lose out on them.
The only happiness in that group is in the winner. And that winner is worried about losing his position to one of the other people in the group. This
should be compared to a service to others group of people, where everybody is happy helping eachother because they feel good just being who they are.
There is no need to become anything or rise to any position because nobody is competing from their egos. They dont need a position to feel good about
who they are. This is a strength rather than a weekness. They already
like themselves, which is the goal you are trying to reach by doing
service to self.
I dont do service to others for their approval. This is your biggest misunderstanding I think. I do it because I feel good helping others. And If I
notice someone not wanting me around, I move to someone else who needs my support. Its a strange perception that helping someone somehow puts you
below them. It really doesnt.
2) If you are not willing to take, you dont have anything to give!
We all have different abilities to help others with. These are not taken from others - we are born with them. You can use your high IQ intellect to
build bombs, or to build shelters. You can use your emotional abilities to make others feel good, or feel bad. So far I have not run out of empathy
because it gets re-energized everytime you see how you make a difference for someone else.
3) When you focus on strength in yourself, you begin to love yourself instead of hate. You become happy because you are strong, and strong leads to
self respect, and happiness.
I think the issue here is that you start the circle with hating yourself because you are not strong, so you must move from there to work on your self
respect by being strong in order to be happy.
I build my self esteem from liking who I am. I dont need to change anything really because Im someone who contributes a lot to making other people
feel better in this world, and by doing that, I also feel better myself. And if everybody did that, everybody would feel good about themselves and the
world would be pretty awesome.
I think service to self creates a world where its pathetic to be weak, and you will not get love until you are strong enough to be respected by the
other strong people. Its conditional love rather than unconditional love. See the difference?
Im not claiming to be a guru here... just trying to give you my point of view. And its really interesting, all of this.
Thanks for your post!
edit on 28-8-2012 by PrimitiveWorld because: (no reason given)
edit on 28-8-2012 by PrimitiveWorld because: (no reason