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Mother Passed. Question: Cremation or Burial?

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posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 03:20 PM
My mother passed away earlier this week, and her wish was to be cremated. We all agreed & thus far cremation will be at beginning of next week. But, myself and some my siblings & the church are in disagreement.

My dad (81) wants to keep my mother's ashes. Last night the Pastor advised against this as they believe it is not the right thing to do, and the ashes must be buried or be scattered. Why?

I got angry and stepped away after talk of "evil spirits" and "attraction" if one keeps a beloved's ashes.

I am a firm believer of our Creator, His Son and The Holy Spirit. But, i revere our Creator, and not man & definitely no church. I decided to do some research on why it is not advised to keep a beloved's ashes, and of course you get the whole shebang "why cremation is wrong" & "why cremation is not wrong". So, now i am at a loss & spinning head: is cremation right or wrong in the eyes of The Creator?

I need advise..a guide, help, direction from believers. I do not mean to sound insincere, or to be rude to non-believers, but i am at the end of my line. I ask, please no God bashing.

I have two questions, as mentioned above.

1) Is it wrong in the eyes of our Creator for my dad to keep the ashes of my mother?
2) Is cremation right or wrong in the eyes of The Creator?

I thank you fellow ATS'ers in advance for all replies. I may not respond straight away, as i am tired and will probably fall asleep soon.

Blessings & love to all.

edit on 09/02/2012 by KaelemJames because: grammar

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 03:26 PM
personally i'm of the opinion that it's your fathers choice. my mother died 10 years ago and i still have her ashes, not for anything maudlin, i'm just waiting for the right time and place for her.

i say your father has them as is his right.

and my condolences on your mum too.

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 03:29 PM
My mother passed when I was 11. She wanted cremation, so we did that for her.
I still hold onto her ashes. When she was alive her big dream was to sky dive. When she was passing she said she wanted he ashes spread into Corpus Christi bay.

I plan on doing both of those for her soon. I will sky dive over the bay and release her ashes in the air.

So my answer is do as she wished, or wanted or as best near as you can. Something to honour her.

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 03:30 PM
Condolences to you and your family on your mothers passing.

If it was your mothers wishes to be cremated then that, to me, is the final word on it. If your father feels that he wants to keep her ashes then that to should also be the final word.

Don't allow superstitious beliefs to come between your mothers and fathers wishes.

I myself doubt God cares if one is cremated. What about the eulogy "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" that is spoken at many funerals?

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 03:37 PM
reply to post by ladyteeny

Thank you ladyteeny.

This is my opinion, and one of my sister's, too.

What scared me is after the pastor/church told us & a few hours of "google research" i found many sources that says God doesn't approve of cremation. Some even calling it a curse.

I am trying to do what my soul tells me, but, i ain't getting any answers. Need to do right on my mother, that's all i want.

Originally posted by TheLieWeLive

I myself doubt God cares if one is cremated. What about the eulogy "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust" that is spoken at many funerals?

Exactly! One's spirit is with Him, not the flesh.

Thank you

edit on 09/02/2012 by KaelemJames because: added

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 03:46 PM
My mother passed two years ago and givin we are catholic she ucould not be inturned without all her ashes together. I managed to side step that as I have four sisters whom two of them were in sore need of a keep sake to remember our mother. I don't honestly believe ghere is any right answer. It's what you feel in your heart that matters most. And go with it!

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 03:53 PM
reply to post by KaelemJames

Do what you feel to be right.
The creator will not turn against you, or turn you away, just because you have followed your heart.

The argument about what is right or wrong is a human argument driven by those who seek to be heard the most.

You know what you want. Go with it.
There is no evidence to suggest that bad spirits may be attracted to ashes.

Native Americans, Vikings and even Asian Indians cremate(d) lost ones.
Over our history we have had many different ways of sending off the departed and in my honest opinion, none of them are right or wrong, they are simply the right thing for those in each circle at each time.

After all, we will all cross over one day. What happens to my body will be determined by those I leave behind. I know, in my mind, the creator has no problem with my choice as it has all been seen before..

I feel that it is ok for your dad to keep the ashes. If thatis his wish, then I am sure the creator will not have a problem with that, many others do, and many more will keep the ashes.
Anything that gives comfort and strength through all the testing times..

i hope my words are understood and help you along at this time.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
bless you all.

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 03:54 PM
reply to post by KaelemJames

Historically the church looks down cremation because it was a pagan ritual.

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 04:02 PM
I'm very sorry to learn about your Mother's death.

I don't wish to be insensitive but I personally wouldn't worry too much about what the Creator thinks right now.

It's your Mother's wishes which are important, those of your Father too.

So grant her wish, let her be cremated. Grant his too, let him have comfort right now, let him keep the ashes ... there's every chance he'll scatter them soon anyway, once he's made sense of this terrible loss. There is a tradition in some faiths to allow the family retain ashes, certainly in UK it's not uncommon.

I'll be thinking about you over the next few days.

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 04:07 PM
My sincere condolences to you and your family.

Trust me, the Creator doesn't care one way or the other because we are all born with free will. What a person chooses to do with his/her life or death is a personal decision and God doesn't hold judgement. At least my God doesn't.

Your mother's wishes should be honored as well as your father's. It is their own free wills that made that decision. Of course, there are some that would use their free will to tell you that you are wrong. When that happens, you should use your own free will to look them straight in the eye and tell them to go **** themselves.

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 04:27 PM
Cremation is the way to go.

Embalming is the worst thing ever.

I have witnessed an embalming.

It's like the most violent liposuction but in reverse.

They stab the body over and over.

Enjecting embalming fluid into the organs.

Then your head is sealed with a cement type substance.

Then your anus gets plugged with a butt plug to avoid leakage.

I worked in forensics for over ten years and I was privy to witness a embalming for educational experience.

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 04:28 PM
reply to post by KaelemJames

Dear KaelemJames,

I am so sorry for your loss. My sympathy goes out to you. You asked believers a question and I am a believer. Dead is dead, that body is no longer hers, it says we get a new body when we die, an eternal body. Cremation is fine and people die in fires, they don't go to hell for dying in a fire. Keep the ashes or spread them, it doesn't really matter. Do whatever is going to make the living feel better, burials are for the living, not the dead. Remember the person, their soul, their person is what matters. My prayers are with you.

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 04:35 PM
reply to post by KaelemJames

Don't listen to any nonsense, if her wish was to be cremated then I'd do that. I don't know about keeping the ashes, people generally do that with dead dogs and cats not people. But it's not my call whatsoever.

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 04:36 PM
reply to post by KaelemJames

What's the difference if someone burned and died in a fire as compared to burning the body once they've died? I don't think God would curse the person who was burned in a fire, so why would he curse someone who is cremated? I believe the soul leaves the body on the last breath. All that's left is flesh and bones.

The body deteriorates anyways so why would speeding up the process be any worst? Religion causes us to think some practices are more sacred than others.

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 04:42 PM
I appreciate all the kind responses, words and wishes.

I will follow my initial gut and honour my mother's wish to be cremated.

All of you guys & ladies are simply awesome.

Love & blessings...and much respect.

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 05:03 PM
Does God have a problem with cremation? Some people are burned to death so I doubt God has a problem with it. I know of no place in the Bible that says do not burn the bodies of people.

I Corinthians 13:3

If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

The preferred method of dealing with a dead body in ancient Israel was to bury it, but that was a custom, not a commandment.
This whole article may help.

If she wanted cremation, just do it. It the minister has a problem tell him you will find another. IMHO.

If this minister is Catholic he is out of line with what the Church teaches. Now-a-days many can't afford a casket and burial. Direct cremation is what I have for my plans.

Genesis 3:19

In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread till thou return to the earth, out of which thou wast taken: for dust thou art, and into dust thou shalt return.

I just see cremation as a quicker means to return to dust.

posted on Aug, 25 2012 @ 05:48 PM
The Biblical Creator hasn't expressed a preference, so I agree with those who say it doesn't matter.
If anyone tries to tell you that cremation was practiced by the pagans, your response can be that burial was practiced by the pagans as well.

posted on Aug, 26 2012 @ 09:32 AM
I echo all the sympathies; my dad passed two years ago, and wanted cremation, so that's what happened. My mom has the ashes; at first, we discussed scattering them, or just some of them, and then she decided no, she's keeping them and going to have them buried with her own.

Whatever will provide comfort to YOU and your DAD is what matters. I would disregard what your pastor says; that is authoritarian nonsense. No offense intended, but is it at these most exquisitely painful moments that they have more power than ever, and it is not up to them to decide what is best for YOU and your DAD.

Keeping you in my thoughts, Kaelem; the grief will hit in waves, unstoppable, horrible to endure, but they pass...
and come again, and pass, and come again, and pass....
until eventually it's more of a peaceful acceptance.

Remember your love for her, and allow your Dad to remember his. That's all that matters; do what your Mom wanted, and then do what you need to do.

edit on 26-8-2012 by wildtimes because: (no reason given)

posted on Aug, 26 2012 @ 06:33 PM
Thank you sad_eyed_lady & DISRAELI. I couldn't agree more. Thank you guys, so so much.

reply to post by wildtimes

wildtimes, you truly touched my heart with your words. I had a tear of joy for the first time today. You gave me some of my positivity back which i lost over the last few days.

Love & blessings to all of you guys & ladies.

posted on Aug, 26 2012 @ 06:36 PM
reply to post by KaelemJames

in my personal belief, cremation is the way, have the ashes spread, return her to the earth from which she came.

burial if you want her to be dug up 10 million years later by alien archaeologist.

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