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Something happened...

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posted on Aug, 21 2012 @ 08:24 AM
Hi. I am John Swan and I would like to share with you all a memory of mine, of something which happened about half a decade ago, and which changed the course of my life forever. If this event would not have happened, I would now be a very different man, so different that I myself couldn't recognize this man.

One night (it was about around 2008) I went to sleep, not knowing that the next morning I would wake up a different man.

I saw myself walking in a green park, holding my dear girlfriend by the hand. Then, in the same park, I was some years later complaining about the rain and the cloudy sky. Such futile things. I was working somewhere, I was 40-ish and I was seeing half of my life passing by... and I realized I never took the chance to really live it. I realized I didn't gave enough attention to what really matters: my (now) wife, breathing fresh air, seeing green trees and find joy in simple things. I was caring only about my job... I was so narrow-minded...

50-ish and I decided to quit everything. Who cares how much money I have? My life was worth more than packed paper money. I quit my job, and I went to see my wife, saying: "dear, I realize now I didn't gave you what you deserve: my presence. I know it is a bit late, but I beg you, please forgive me, we will take the short time we now have on this Earth to actually live, and wathever we want to do. "

I still remember the look of joy on my wife's face.
We spent the following years to rediscover things we previously discarded as granted: the warmth of the sun, the singing of the birds, the freshness of grass in early morning. We loved each other, and each times I would look into my wife's eyes, I always felt a big lump in my throat, a feeling of remorse mixed to powerful love, because I was realizing how stupid I have been all these years, I trashed half of my lifetime by taking the World too seriously, thinking about money, depriving my partner-in-life of joy and love.

At age 70 I was clutching, with my old parchment-like hands, the smaller, but as wrinkled, hands of my wife. We were half-hugging each other, sitting on a bench in a park, with the sun shining down on us. My wife's hair was white and as I looked down to her, my arms still around her, she smiled. She had undeniable wrinkles, but at least she was finally happy. I smiled back, enjoying the sun with her. We both knew that our time, on this Earth, was running short. We would soon die... Unless a miracle was performed, enabling us to live 200 years, we would die very soon. I felt a tear rolling on my cheek. If only I had realized that when I was young and healthy... If only I would have realised that love could also make my day, things such as the smile of my old faithfull wife, the rustlings of a tree's leaves, the sun rising and setting... Now I was feeling that we were coming to the end of our journey... a journey that ended well, but could have been better. I was vaguely asking myself if we die, where would we go... But as an atheist, I felt that we would just die, bringing all our memories, our deep love of each other, our little moments of joy... to nothingness. What a waste... why didn't I see it... If only I could have one more chance, to do everything right this time... I shifted on my bench, gripping my wife's hands... we were wrinkled, we had white hair. We were so old, yet our minds were still young... really seeking to live each moment... Why did I waited to be faced with death before I realized I could live every moments of my life?

Then all I saw was deep darkness. I wasn't afraid, I knew my time has come, I was quitting life forever. No need to be afraid of something which will come for sure.
I saw darkness. Too bad my life wasn't great, it's over now.

Then I opened my eyes.

It happens that this dream was the most complex dream I ever had, morphing 4 hours of sleep into a ~70 years duration dream. The exact cause for it is still unknown. But one thing is for sure: I wasn't even expecting opening my eyes and feeling my heart beat again, seeing that my skin was still smooth, when I woke up. I was so gratefull that it was just a (weirdly profound) dream; I was dreaming all this! I was still 20 and in good shape, not some dying old man.

This dream triggered a re-boot in which I completely modified my thinking process and my behavior. As I was growing more and more grumpy, I realized, after this dream of mine, that I was having a second chance. It was just a dream, but I knew now what I was doing wrong. I was taking life too seriously, forgetting to laugh, to have fun, forgetting to live life.
Now I see everything with joy, hope and love. I love animals, I am a good astronomer, I try to study physics, I always make a good joke to brighten my sister when she's down, I see Apocalyptic threats here on ATS with a mix of interest and a feeling of "all right, bring it on, then!"...
I can't help feeling a bit of pity to all those who see life too seriously, who are stiff in their three-piece suit and only follow the most boring path. Can't they know they will die one day, that now is the time to do what they always dreamed of?

The morality? Do not forget to live. Your life is a novel story in which you are the author and the character. So, write a good one.

freedom, peace and joy.


posted on Aug, 21 2012 @ 08:49 AM
You are very lucky to have had such a vision. If only more people had the sort you had.

I'm surrounded by those that have no idea what our real purpose is here. Instead they live their roles, easily summed up as cogs in the machine. The machine existing only to exist. The grease for the cogs is the mass entertainment, media, alcohol and brand names. The machine that, ultimately, prints bills otherwise known as paper with ink on it. Their whole experience only to get back 10% of what they produce.

posted on Aug, 21 2012 @ 09:43 AM
Dear Sir -

Thank you for a wonderful read. This story touched on a topic that is close to my heart.

I'm not sure at what point in our lives it happens, but we seem to fall prey to the machine. That machine in which we are trapped as a "vital (yet easily replaceable) part of the company". (At least in my life lol). And yes, the media and society in general letting you know you're not "one of them" unless you have the latest gizmo or gadget. Sad, but true. At least with the people I work with their noses are always in their phones, and heaven forbid they come up for air....alas, I am straying off topic into a rant....

One of my favorite movies of all time is Auntie Mame. A couple of lines from the movie have stayed with me all these years and I try to abide by them. "Life's a banquet and most poor fools are starving to death". How true. A feast for the eyes and soul be it art, nature, or the like. When was the last time you deliberately stopped to smell the flowers or ponder the path of a catepillar? Watched the sunrise/sunset? Felt your heart and soul swell with love because you were alive?

I know a job is important because bills must be paid. But it is a job...not your life. Don't worry about the Jones', trust me they really don't care about you. The ones who do care? It is not for me to say about you dear reader, you know your own heart. But for me, I know who. And the other favorite line "You need to Live, Live, Live!"

Again, Mr. Swan, thank you.

posted on Aug, 21 2012 @ 11:20 AM
reply to post by swan001

You and your girlfriend(now wife) represent humanity. The park represents the world. The sun, the grass, the air, the love, all represent laws or the law (think laws of nature) The dream you had is a timeline.

In the beginning, people were young and without obligation. But then they took it for granted and sought more for themselves which caused the nature of love to diminish. Then the people were given law and rules to follow which were to them a burden. The people thought that working to fulfill the literal law was happiness. It failed them. They missed the point.

Then the oppression of the law was diminished by the understanding of love and forgiveness.

Then the goodness of the law became apparent and people began to follow it without obligation simply because they learned that to love IS the law. We have remorse because we remember that we saw the law as a burden, not realizing that law is love; but we have joy knowing we know love now.

We hold on to love for many years, but doubt begins to linger. We finally began to love, but did we love enough? What did we not do right? Why aren't we allowed to live longer? What are we going to do? Maybe if we had loved better and more, maybe if we had learned our lesson sooner, then we wouldn't have to suffer the way we are going to. I don't want to die! I did all I could, I learned my lesson! Please, God, give us a miracle, keep us alive! I could live 200 more years and still not get bored!
But never mind. We will die. There is nothing. All this love was for nothing. Everything is going to end anyway, so I might as well just accept death and be forever gone. All of it was just vanity anyway.

But you forgot your first love. The One who brought love back into the world - the one who fulfilled the law and made it possible for even you, the atheists of the world, to understand and know love, despite the fact that you blame the One who brought the Love to us for the horrible acts and attitudes of those who falsely proclaim that He is their God.

You have been given a dream from the One in whom you do not believe. Does this not strike you as paradoxical?

It is because you do not believe that you are going to quit your life forever. How can you appreciate the things created without appreciating the Creator? You see, when you love those things created, you are actually having love for the character of the Creator. But then you make everyone a liar by claiming that He doesn't exist and He didn't make everything. How can you truly have love if you haven't the wisdom to see that? How can you claim that you lived your life the way you were supposed to and learned to appreciate things if you only appreciate it for yourself?

Would you listen to a beautiful song because of the joy it makes you feel and then share it with someone else, except that when they ask you who created that song, you say, "It does not matter. Let us just listen and enjoy it ourselves."

Would you drive a beautiful car and then when someone asks you, "wow, what kind of car is that? Who made that?" Would you then say, "It does not matter; it only matters that we like to look at it and ride in it with our hair blowing in the air."

Would you read a book, a book so enjoyable, suspenseful, entertaining, funny; and then when you share the stories with other people and they ask, "What is the book called? Who wrote it?" Your response would surely be, "It doesn't matter. I AM TRYING to tell you the story. Why would you want to go get it for yourself?"

Do we not attribute those things we appreciate to the creators?

Then how much more should we attribute all of what we appreciate to the original Creator.

When you learn this, then as you say at the end of your dream: "Then I opened my eyes." Because that is the most important part of your entire dream.

posted on Aug, 22 2012 @ 09:00 AM
Thank you all for you posts. I can't stress enough how lucky indeed I was to have that dream... And I wanted to share it so people could wake up too... It's as if I was given a second chance to live...

reply to post by 4LPH483T50UP

reply to post by Atlantican

Exactly. We are treated as money machines instead of living, human beings. That's a very important point I am glad y'all realized too.

reply to post by TarzanBeta

Yes, it was after this dream that I started asking myself deep, serious questions about the existence of God. I am now surrounded by very faithfull christian friends, to who I ask questions and express my doubts. One of them is even a preacher, and I am very glad to have met him. I am still a non-believer, but I also seriously now consider the other possibility: that I am wrong in believing He doesn't exist.

posted on Aug, 24 2012 @ 03:51 PM
Is that how old age feels like? The feeling that you forgot to do something, and that it is too late, you wish you had more time?

posted on Aug, 24 2012 @ 04:15 PM
What a nice story John !! thanks for sharing

My thoughs :
You had a forced revelation from an Angel or the Creator himself watching over you
giving you a vision of the futur
maybe at that park with your wife .. when you were old
how old do you think .. 70 ?

probably older then 100 yrs old .. even 200
if you saw her there .. that mean she is your soul mate
you were not taking care of her .. if you didnt had this revelation
im sure you would have more regrets
most know by now that you dont have to regret anything
you didnt deny that vision and you have opened your real heart
there is many ways to save a soul from eternal damnation

visions can also happen to prevent a disaster to fall on you
giving you weird premonition so you know when to be carefull

now have a good eternal life with your wife !!
and dream of this park moment to come .. try to paint it

edit on 8/24/2012 by Ben81 because: (no reason given)

posted on Nov, 5 2012 @ 11:21 AM
I would like to say that living every moment to its fullest is a very admirable concept. However, do not mistake death for the enemy. It's not death you should be afraid of, but an empty life. Death is only the next great adventure, which comes after the first great life. Death is only an enemy to those who regret their life.

Be glad for new opportunities and clean slates, fresh approaches and unknown lessons. Be glad for a whole different experience - one that teaches you how to live all over again.

posted on Nov, 5 2012 @ 11:27 AM
reply to post by AfterInfinity

My thoughts exactly.

After that dream I didn't start fearing death - I started fearing, as you say, an empty life. Most people just eat, work, and sleep. That, for me, is death, as it means these humans are no more than machines, or animals. But we have the potential to be more than machines or animals.

posted on Nov, 5 2012 @ 11:30 AM
reply to post by Ben81

And thanks for reading, my friend.

posted on Nov, 5 2012 @ 11:34 AM
If I could give you a million stars and flags I would.
This is exactly the feelings my hubbie and I share right now.
I love that you posted it here for both of us to read.
We should all be more afraid of an empty life.
Live like everyday is your last....didn't really understand it till now.

posted on Nov, 5 2012 @ 12:57 PM
reply to post by AccessDenied

lol Don't worry, having this dream was worth more than having any number of stars.

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