Why I want the world to end...

I lay on my bed staring up at the ceiling unable to identify the cause of my latest mood. Then my phone lit up and notified me of an email, begging my attention and the realization of what has been bothering me flooded into my conscious mind.

Now please don’t get me wrong, I do not wish nor have I ever wished harm on another living being but I am completely jaded by the world today.
I realized that I have been hoping that maybe someone was right. That maybe some major event will change the face of our world and I would no longer have to continue with my day to day life. Survival mode seems a much better prospect to me than sitting in traffic everyday. Only to reach my office where I will have to sell stuff to people that I know they don’t need. I need to do this so that I can earn money to pay my bills so that I can afford to live.

My entire life I have been unable to do things that come so naturally to the people around me.
I started my own business so that I wouldn’t have to deal with a boss. It is successful, I should be happy. But I’m not.
Everyone I know is getting to the point in their life where they are settling down, getting married and having children. The thought of doing the same thing fills me with absolute dread. I want no part of it.

I am finding it incredibly difficult to write this and articulate exactly what I mean but I do not wish to continue on in this place. I find myself wishing I could run away and live in the woods far from the cities the greed, money, power, all of it. I want nothing to do with it.

We are sucking the life out of a planet that we should be nurturing. I am disgusted with myself and the rest of humanity. We were not meant to live our lives this way.
Is this what we have really been reduced to?

If some major event had to occur that resulted in the end of the world as we know but leave enough alive to start over, I find myself wondering if this will really be such a bad thing.
We cannot continue the way we are at the moment. Something has to give…

Maybe this is why there is such a fascination with apocalyptic theories. Everyone is subconsciously thinking the same thing but nobody wants to admit that they are secretly hoping for things to change, to end even.
Are we living in the end of times? I hope so.

Feel free to insult me, maybe it will knock some sense into me.
Just please bear in mind that this is a rant... I just felt like venting a little...

reply to post by IamKels

it is the way you sell stuff. don't lie, just show the improvement a customer gets with the new product. there are different ways to sell stuff.

It's quite selfish isn't it. To want the world to end. You say you have your own business, so you must be intelligent enough and successful enough to have achieved so much. Much more than many people will be able to achieve in their life times.

If it's not making you happy and you want to run away, what is stopping you? Who knows running away may change your perspective on life.

Life is an amazing and precious thing. Try not to take it for granted, because there will come a day when you want to live more than you can imagine and by that time it may be too late.

If all the doom stories are depressing you, ignore them, focus your mind on other things, things that are not so depressing.

reply to post by IamKels


No insults from me, I feel the same way. But it's basically out of our control. If you speak up as you have openly people will say your depressed and need anti - depressants. But what does that fix.
Sure, everything seems rosy for awhile because your taking a drug that makes you feel that way, but that doesn't change the # hole we are living in, just candy coats it for awhile.
The fact is you are a sensitive person who struggles when seeing people in poverty or pain or misery, take your pick.
You can only take so much of this world before you start to feel down.
I now look at life as an experience, a journey with many up's and downs. Everyone on Earth is on their own Journey which is why you need to worry less about others and more about your own immediate family and friends.
We are thankfully here for a short time, then who knows? Do we go to an afterlife, do we reincarnate, do we cease to exist.
I doubt we'd cease to exist or all the pain and hardship would be for nothing. I think we go on to an afterlife which in a sense makes all your current misery redundant.
Cheer up Mate and take life a day at a time.
.

All sunny, well-meaning, vaguely true, not-so-inspiring platitudes aside ...

Have you seen or read "The Road"?

It's probably the most realistic painting of a post-apocalyptic world ever depicted (that I've come across).

Granted, this is assuming that the global conflict goes nuclear ... and if that is to be the world's fate:

The words cold, bleak, barren, savage, horrifying, etc., come to mind.

We're talking about barren landscapes and rivers; a world devoid of any edible vegetation or animal life. We're talking cannibalism, unchecked rape, slow starvation, mass casualty deaths, infanticide, constant hunger, constant pain, and ruthless, unremitting, barbaric tribal warfare. We're talking no security, no safety, no access to the basics amenities of life, no stability, no hope. We're talking about an unforgiving, primitive, and brutal wild. THIS is what would happen with the collapse of society. At first at least ...

I don't know that I'd want to live through it to see what comes out of the other end. Might be something good but that's not for me to know.

I think people tend to romanticize end of the world scenarios (not saying you per se)... somehow coming to believe they have some special role to play, so special in fact that their continued existence is assured - and that somehow, they will find a way through the madness. I admit, I have entertained simliar notions (not anymore).

The reality is much more vicious and cruel than we could imagine.

Perhaps, just perhaps - thinking on these things might make the gnawing tedium of your next traffic jam a little more palatable.

I have wished harm on other living beings plenty of times. I think you should get a wife. They are really great and sometimes give you a reason to live.

reply to post by IamKels


Because I once traveled along a similar path that you are on now, let me relay to you some good advice I received from a good friend of mine that helped me to break out of this kind of mind frame. Now, it may seem I am being hard on you here and in a way I am. But this speech by my friend helped me and I hope it assists you as well.....

Just because you are not happy with your 'world' please do not wish or hope for the end of mine. I am sorry that you feel that the world owes you your happiness but in truth I, and no one else either, have been put here to ensure your happiness in a world that you have allowed to impose it's doom and gloom on your groove. Find what makes you happy, find the small things that make you happy, and keep adding them up until when you look at them in retrospect they far outweigh the bad things. This can be as simple as getting up a little early each morning to watch the sunrise. For me, one of the things that gets me charged is to set aside about 20-30 minutes each day engaged in an activity that is just for me. This can range from taking the dogs out for an extended run in the back yard because it gives me joy watching them run around ears up, tails up, tongue lolling in sheer unabashed bliss that I cannot help but feel happy too or sitting by myself engaged in thinking on nothing in particular while watching the sun filter through the leaves. What I am trying to say here is stop waiting for the world to show you your happy place and go in search of it. It's there, you just need to find it and when you do make sure you hold on to it and not let the rest of the world take it over with it's uncanny ability to strip you of it.

You mention you just want to run into the woods and leave it all be hind. Well then... do it. Set aside some weekends (or what ever days you may have off since you've mentioned you have your own business) to slip off into the woods and do some camping, hiking, kayaking perhaps.. but go and get away, leaving the rest of the world to fend for itself for a bit and concentrate on what makes you tick. (just be sure that if you are venturing out on your own you DO let someone know where you are and when you are expected back so that should something happen folks know where to start looking for you)

So while you wish for the end of my world, I wish for you the ability to find the yet undiscovered joy in yours.

reply to post by woodwardjnr


Thank you for your comment.
This was merely a rant, not to be taken too seriously.

My frustration comes from the fact that I feel trapped because as much as I may want to run away the fact is I cannot. I have responsibilities that I must honour.

I said that I struggled to express exactly how I was feeling. I do not wish for the end of other peoples worlds maybe, simply, just the end of the routine of my own.

I don't know exactly what I mean... and there comes that frustration again

Whenever I start to feel dread about the world, I remember this is Earth, not Eden. Not Paradise.

What helps me get through the day is that I know that my consciousness is only trapped in this dimension for so long, then it's on to the next challenge.

This linear material plane is like a chess board, light and dark, good and evil, every possible duality in an ever-evolving yin and yang harmony.

I know it seems like we live in troubled times, but really we don't.

reply to post by kudegras


Thanks for understanding where I am coming from.

The funny thing is that most of the time I am a cheerful girl

But today was just one of those days...
I just needed to vent...

holy cow,how did ya get in my head!!!???
i feel the exact same way.
i have been successful more than a few times, just to lose it all because of the feeling you have.
what is the point in this material world?
i am an artist (tattoo,paint,musician) so its hard to loose my 'gift',and i can use it to accumulate a bunch of new toys (again)but i live with the bare minimum now. i am contempt.
i have been married,and have 2 beautiful children.
my ex tried to change me into a 'normal' member of society,but that failed miserably!
we went our seperate ways,and ironically she has found out that the 'wight picket fence' life is a big lie!
it doesn't exist,and it never has.
i have a really close relationship with my kids,and i've tried to teach them what is real,and important in life.
they know life isn't like a tv commercial,and they have learned how to live responsibly,and not to have to keep up with the jonses!
any way my friend,although you may think your alone,trust me your not!
there is more and more people who are waking up from this bad dream,with a bad taste in their mouth.
like they have been lied to!
its what your gonna do about it that will make you feel whole!
good luck,and never stop fighting.
peace

Originally posted by DaTroof
Whenever I start to feel dread about the world, I remember this is Earth, not Eden. Not Paradise.

What helps me get through the day is that I know that my consciousness is only trapped in this dimension for so long, then it's on to the next challenge.

This linear material plane is like a chess board, light and dark, good and evil, every possible duality in an ever-evolving yin and yang harmony.

I know it seems like we live in troubled times, but really we don't.

Thank you - this helped

reply to post by IamKels
I think a good 2 week wilderness camping trip might help you to get balanced and to see and enjoy nature...step off the treadmill...just saying..

Originally posted by reficul
holy cow,how did ya get in my head!!!???
i feel the exact same way.
i have been successful more than a few times, just to lose it all because of the feeling you have.
what is the point in this material world?
i am an artist (tattoo,paint,musician) so its hard to loose my 'gift',and i can use it to accumulate a bunch of new toys (again)but i live with the bare minimum now. i am contempt.
i have been married,and have 2 beautiful children.
my ex tried to change me into a 'normal' member of society,but that failed miserably!
we went our seperate ways,and ironically she has found out that the 'wight picket fence' life is a big lie!
it doesn't exist,and it never has.
i have a really close relationship with my kids,and i've tried to teach them what is real,and important in life.
they know life isn't like a tv commercial,and they have learned how to live responsibly,and not to have to keep up with the jonses!
any way my friend,although you may think your alone,trust me your not!
there is more and more people who are waking up from this bad dream,with a bad taste in their mouth.
like they have been lied to!
its what your gonna do about it that will make you feel whole!
good luck,and never stop fighting.

peace

Thank you; its really a comfort to know that there are some that feel the same as I do. Reading some of the comments I was starting to wonder if I am just a spoiled brat. I think maybe that may be true
It's exhausting trying to explain myself all the time... Why I behave the way I do.
You are right though, I do feel as if I have been lied to... I feel empty.

But hopefully tomorrow morning I will find my spirit again and continue fighting

reply to post by IamKels


just be strong,and know they can take it all from you EXCEPT YOUR SPIRIT!
your the only one that can give that up freely.
as long as you have your spirit,nothing else matters.
the rest will follow.

reply to post by IamKels


I say f*ck this world that only exists to hurl pain anguish and suffering on all life trapped on it, it is better to just burn it all than to watch the continuation of all the pain. 7billion people on this rock, and over 5 billion live in absolute poverty and deprivety. Every single day another chance to lose another small child, a chance to starve, a chance to be raped, or beaten, or enslaved but any number of very willing and eager masters.

The purpose of life is to die, the purpose of feeling if to feel pain. The only respite one may obtain is as fleeting as the dreams of most that dwindle and die a little more everyday of their troubled existance, until the innevitable all to painful, all too drawn out to increase the suffering as much as possible, end.

I wrote that 8 years ago after my wife left me, after I returned from another deployment, to find out she cheated on me, didn't pay my mortgage or any of my bills( soldiers and sailors act at its finest) for 8 months, drained my bank account, ran up 10,000 dollars of credit, and sold my cars out from under me. As I placed power of attorney in her name, she had the ability to screw me over, so she did, because she could.

I wanted to die, and indeed did pray for death, as I sat in my last possesion, my camaro, homeless, hungry, desperate for help, only to have my family turn me away, because my wife had borrowed money from them and didn't pay it back, they tok it out on me, once again adding pain on top of pain.

Years later after I blamed everyone else, and became bitter, and calous and uncaring, I realized somthing that changed my life.

Mine was no worse, but in fact much better than the best life many others ever get to have in the first place. I was never thankful with what I had not realizing my luck in life until it was gone.

I have faith though that this world does turn, and one never knows what tomorrow might bring. It can't rain every day, the sun will always return, and with it spring after a long and harsh winter. One just has to weather the storm to make it out the other side back into the light.

Please don't lose hope, I can't promise you everything will be alright, or that they will improve, as I can't ever really be certain. I can promise with 100% certainty though that things can't remain as they are forever, change is a universal constant, it will come, it is only a matter of time.

Perhaps what your missing is a change of sorts?

Granted i understand being jaded...I too cannot stand the enviroment in which I reside. I wish theres was someting positive i could say to make it better....unfortunatly being faced with the reality in which we live i fully understand where this country is heading.

i take no emotional stake in it, i just see it for what it is. Not much you can do about it really....you either press on and take it, or you move on to a different type of existance. I can think of much worse things than going all Jerimiah Johnson in the middle of nowhere. Perhaps what you need is a break from this reality in order to experience another reality.

Maybe you should take some time off and go to the middle of nowhere for a couple weeks to gain clarity.

I know what your going through though. it is as if this world is fake or phony, like your living inside a really bad soap opera that never ends....all you want is to disconnect from it and find the true state of being...and you feel lost until you find it. You feel the superficial drive of society and want desperatly for people to be shown their true place among nature in its rawest form. You feel like something is missing...like a hole has opened up and nothing seems to fill it.

You feel like people do not deserve this, and nothing you say or do will make anyone realize that concept. Like the world around you is a man made bubble waiting to be popped by a random clear thought of truth that will cut through the lies in which we live. Its almost like your void of emotion and lack empathy or sympathy for those around you...almost like they are petty....beneath you mentally.

Im right there with ya....all you can really do is find your center....perhaps you do need some companionship to gain perspective....only do so if you are dedicated to the idea however. i can't tell you what to do or how to go about it...each life in journey must make their own path...maybe this one isn't right for you?

Just remember one thing though....and I firmly believe this.....everything happens for a reason, no matter how big or how small and insignificant.

Am I at least close?

I love the world.

Except for all the people.

reply to post by IamKels

I know, somehow, that only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars.

Dr MLK
realhistoryarchives.blogspot.co.uk...

Don't worry too much buddy,there is good and bad always-just have to try and make the best of it.
Things can always change,sometimes for the better,sometimes not.
History tells us that much.
Concentrate on the good things I say.

What's wrong with finding something you are truly passionate about and sticking to it? It's incredibly rewarding to have a hobby or pass-time you love and achieving a goal. Some people spend an entire lifetime attempting to reach it. It gives life something to very much look forward to.