reply to post by JamesCookieIII
2064 – The Significance of an Anthill: A Teacher’s Lecture on Sustainability through Calculus
“Imagine a golf course. On that golf course, there is an anthill, which we are interested in. In the anthill live fire ants - the little tiny ones
which hurt an awful lot if you’ve ever had the misfortune of disturbing their home. The hill is composed of fine silt-like sediment which resembles
a parabolic surface, but with imperfections statistically everywhere (the tiny particles are actually three-dimensional crystalline structures of a
substance not unlike graphite). We want to push a golf ball up this anthill, and calculate its potential energy at various heights. Now consider that
we need to find a function which, as accurately and precisely as possible, represents the potential energy of the golf ball. Ideally, this function
will be the path along which we want the golf ball to travel, so that the ants will not be disturbed, while we simultaneously accurately represent the
potential energy of the golf ball.
By my reckoning there are three ways to approach this problem. The first way is to carefully place as many points across the anthill as possible, and
then connect them with line segments. Although this method will not entirely account for the minutia of the topography of the anthill, it will
approximate it as well as we care to measure. We can then make a piecewise function of all the different lines, and thus have a continuous function
representing something close to the anthill’s curve. If we are smart, we can take the derivative of each of these lines, which will yield a
continuous piecewise derivative, which in this case will closely relate the potential energy of the golf ball to the golf ball’s position. We could
then build a ramp out of tiny tiles, the size of the line segments in width and length, and approximate the curve of the anthill along the ball’s
projected trajectory. Thus, we could measure the potential energy of the golf ball anywhere along the replica anthill, before we decided to disturb
the anthill. However, if we were not satisfied enough with the level of precision, we could decrease the distance between our original points to
epsilon, refining our search criteria, and try evaluating the potential energy of the ball again.
The second method of finding the potential energy is to whip out your government-issued smart-watch, open the command prompt, and order it to scan
the ground with ten to the one- hundred power infrared beams which are projected through the watch’s multistage crystal refractors, ultimately onto
the ground. This googol of beams creates a googol of points which are measured and compared by the dimensional scanners on the watch, and thus we can
measure curves with quick, astonishing accuracy. We may take an even more detailed topography of the anthill than we could ever hope to by hand over
the course of an entire lifetime. We then would use our three-dimensional printers and build a laser-precise representation of the anthill’s curve
to the best ability of the machines and data, and thus find, with even more certainty, the potential energy through vector analysis.
If we were still not satisfied, we could resort to the third refinement method - taking a quadratic regression instead of averaging the points
outright, and establishing a parabola which closely resembles the curve of the anthill as we care for (because in reality, the exemplary anthill is
defined as parabolic; although minute imperfections exist they are so minute that they will not affect our experiment) – the more data we collect,
i.e. the more points on the anthill we place, and the more line segments we form, the more derivatives we take) – the more accurate we become when
we build our ramp representation. Eventually, we consider our ramp parabolic (or at least as parabolic as the anthill). After, we measure the
potential energy of the golf ball, as calculated by using our model. This is how people have attempted to solve this problem from the invention of
calculus until 2032.
That is, until the first quantum computer came online. Up until that point, the only way to solve a problem such as this was purely numerical – that
was the way computers’ logic worked, including our smart-watches. Although vastly more capable of raw numerical processes than the average unaided
human of the day, the binary computers of the past had to calculate using numerical analysis through the use of algorithms and pseudo codes.
With the invention of Mojo Jojo, the world’s first truly quantum computer, an actual analytical solution makes the most sense if representing the
topography of the anthill. By utilizing 20- sided (some would consider 20 dimensional) polygons called amplitetrahedrons, paired with yettabytes of
RAM and effectively endless virtual processors, the possible combinations of side lengths and angles of that can be represented geometrically in one
amplitetrahedron means that all of the worlds’ libraries could condensed into less than twenty-three amplitetrahedrons. The algorithm used to
interpret theses polygons took since the discovery of amplitetrahedrons in 2013 until 2032 to create. Computers are no longer linear products of
binary code, and their processors now fail to resemble the complex lattices of previous processors, rather resembling a simple atomic orbital of an
atom (or ants throughout the anthill). The processors’ positive core can be likened to the nucleus, and the levels of complexity which the specific
amplitetrahedrons represent can be likened to valence shells around it. Theoretically, there are fewer stars in the known universe than possible
combinations of 100 amplitetrahedrons. This brings us to 2064. We now think that quantum physics are not just probable, but we are willing to propose
that quantum physics establish the laws of our existence. Without them, everything could not be relative to everything else. By refining our computing
algorithms using the principles of sustainability, we now use less than one millionth the total amount of energy we used to have to use to run a
binary computer per day, to run a quantum rig for a year. Overheating of computer components is now a problem of the distant past. There are even
rumors that they will be allowed in our personal living quarters if we are lucky enough.
The possibilities are seemingly endless. We have stopped global warming in its infancy, ended the world water war, and ended world hunger by finding
ways to generate economically free energy. The future is bright, ever since we started to value the power of information, and decided as a global
community to deny ignorance. Many people today think that this intellectual reawakening can be directly correlated to the sustainability movement of
the 2010’s and 2020’s. Without it, the world would certainly be a darker, dirtier place than it is today. With all the energy we have harvested
and stored, it is predicted that we could move the entire populations of the planet to Mars and establish an atmosphere if necessary. However, since
we have established fail-safe protocols to ensure future sustainability, the only situation in which we would have to move off of earth would be a
world-ending event. Thus, the world has come to the next crossroads of humankind, the analysis of “psychohistorical” trends (how living beings
interact with reality). Nowadays, finding the curve of the anthill is not of concern to us so much as determining how the ants will respond to the
golf ball rolling down their home. With twenty-plus dimensional analysis, we can predict with great success what each individual of the colony will do
(although there are still exceptions) as the golf ball releases its potential energy. The evidence for intelligent design of the universe is
exponentially mounting, and soon, intelligent design will be accepted as a law of physics, generally accepted by the world of science, and unite the
world’s varied religions. Peace on earth is inevitable, and it was clearly possible because of the logic outlined in the Sustainability Principles
of Earth, which are the foundations of quantum computing. Thus, the study of matrixes is now our chief subject of concern – statistics rule supreme.
This is why we must learn calculus well – the derivatives learned now will apply to sustainability curves you learn later.”
HOWS THIS FOR A BUMP? ^^ but seriously i want to get to 20 responses.... anyone help a brother out?