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Originally posted by smyleegrl
Originally posted by acmpnsfal
I really respect the fact that you identified your personal hypocrisy and instead of ignoring it or making an excuse, you want to understand and change it. Maybe it would be helpful to figure out why in that moment you felt uncomfortable with your son seeing a gay person portrayed in the movie. I mean while the reaction you had was unexpected it has to be rooted in a thought process. Were scared it might influence him to become gay?
Posted Via ATS Mobile: m.abovetopsecret.com
I don't know.
I made a thread here a few months back, I won't take the time to link it but it was called "My Son Wants to Be A Girl" or something similar. You can find it in my profile. Anyway, my son had noticed me painting my fingernails and wanted his painted. So I painted his, thinking who wouldn't want their nails an awesome shade of glitter. After that, we had about a week of him commenting that he wanted to wear lipstick and be a girl. He's back to being all boy, recently refused to use pink scissors because they were "girl scissors" and i think that's pretty normal for a child his age.
What would I do if my son turned out to be homosexual? Love him, accept him, and support him. But I can't pretend otherwise....I would feel somewhat dissapointed, too.
Hypocrisy. Doesn't dissapointment imply a subtle lack of respect? So maybe I'm only okay with others being homosexual, but not my child? I have a homosexual cousin and its no big deal; we live in different states but he brings his partner to our family reunions and its perfectly fine with everyone.
More to think about. Thank you.
Originally posted by sonnny1
Originally posted by smyleegrl
What would I do if my son turned out to be homosexual? Love him, accept him, and support him. But I can't pretend otherwise....I would feel somewhat dissapointed, too.
Try this. The next Homosexual couple you see, talk to them. You might get a better understanding, of what might make you feel the way you do now.
Originally posted by tothetenthpower
reply to post by smyleegrl
Remember that kids aren't born with hate in their hearts or prejudice, that's something they learn along the way from the people around them. I've recently had to sit my son down and really make him think hard about how he's been treating people.
He's become beligerant and rude and we don't put up with that in our house. Once he really understood how it felt to be treated that way, to be brought down to his level, he's now getting better at it.
As long as you and your better half don't teach him these things, most of the time he'll take a very balanced approach to what he considers normal.
~Tenth
Originally posted by Sulie
reply to post by tothetenthpower
The challenges you have met, as a parent.
Now, what will you do when the time comes for this girl to ask you how to insert a tampon, or how to use a condom. Just saying..........if your a parent, you better know how the hell to explain these things.......Don't pawn them off on your partner...........please, have a plan!
Originally posted by tothetenthpower
reply to post by smyleegrl
Remember that kids aren't born with hate in their hearts or prejudice, that's something they learn along the way from the people around them. I've recently had to sit my son down and really make him think hard about how he's been treating people.
He's become beligerant and rude and we don't put up with that in our house. Once he really understood how it felt to be treated that way, to be brought down to his level, he's now getting better at it.
As long as you and your better half don't teach him these things, most of the time he'll take a very balanced approach to what he considers normal.
~Tenth
..
Originally posted by tothetenthpower
What?
She's 21, we've been through that phase. And she had dozens of female role models; from aunts, to grandmothers, to friends of the family. I've never pawned anything off on my partner, I simply didn't have an answer and since I consider him to be smarter than I am, I suggested she check with him before accepting my non response.
Parenting is a two person job and I never had all the answers, hell I still don't and I have 3 living at home.
~Tenth
Originally posted by Sulie
Then what did you reply for? Are you just making a point that you are a gay parent?
Who cares then, as long as you have done your job. Get over yourself already for being a gay parent raising kids.
As long as you have done your job as a parent, which is the issue here, who gives a crap?
Originally posted by Sulie
Then what did you reply for? Are you just making a point that you are a gay parent?
Who cares then, as long as you have done your job. Get over yourself already for being a gay parent raising kids.
As long as you have done your job as a parent, which is the issue here, who gives a crap?
..
Originally posted by smyleegrl
[.
So just a few posts after you mention that all we need is love, you're accusing someone of egotism? Interesting.
His experiences as a gay parent are very relevant to this thread, and much appreciated.
Originally posted by Sulie
..
Originally posted by smyleegrl
[.
So just a few posts after you mention that all we need is love, you're accusing someone of egotism? Interesting.
His experiences as a gay parent are very relevant to this thread, and much appreciated.
No, don't you see it? This person is proud of raising his child in a non-traditional family setting, and when I mentioned the use of tampons and instructing a child how to use them, got defensive.
That's not my bag, to insult, but if a person is so self centered to say they raised a child, out of a homosexual relationship. and didn't think that would come up, for themselves to explain while raising a child, I think it's damn selfish. As a parent, one should be able to figure out how to explain that to a child, through love. If the parent raises a child it should come from them, not a relative or friend,
To raise a child takes planning on the part of a parent, not some outside source. There was no love given to this child from a parent in regards on how to insert a tampon.
..
Originally posted by tothetenthpower
reply to post by Sulie
So you attack my character for providing anectodal evidence in a thread where being gay was the primary topic?
I'm a bit confused as to why, you replied, considering you had nothing to add but criticize my parenting, which you know nothing about.
I don't pat myself on the back for being gay and raising kids, I know a dozen or so same situations in my tiny little community alone. I was attempting to help a fellow member and friend.
As for not having females in my immediate family, do you not consider your sister or your mother to be immediate family?
~Tenth
Originally posted by Sulie
If the parent raises a child it should come from them, not a relative or friend,
Originally posted by sonnny1
Originally posted by Sulie
If the parent raises a child it should come from them, not a relative or friend,
WRONG
I am a single Parent, and need as much help, as I could possibly get. It is hard to raise a child or children, as a single Parent. I am not ashamed to tell anyone, that help is needed. I have asked my Mother, and a few female friends, to help with certain situations, I didn't feel comfortable, or lacked the knowledge on , on explaining certain things to my daughter. Parenting is a learning experience, and not everything is Black and White, as you want to make it out to be.
Honestly, I don't think you know ANYTHING when it comes to Parenting. If you did, you would understand the nature of it, has many roads and obstacles, and not everything is handed down, in some fancy book of knowledge.
About traditional Parenting? There is NO traditional Parenting out there. There is Parenting, and that's it.
Originally posted by Sulie
How am I attacking you based on the fact that you said you raised your daughter based on others explaining how to insert a tampon. It has nothing to do with you being gay, other than you lacked in being a parent to explain to your daughter how to do it yourself. I take it you did not assume the mother role in your homosexual relationship,l so what do you want? A medal, or a chest to pin it on?