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Originally posted by SonoftheSun
A very close friend of mine became ill on June 20th. After multiple tests, he was told on July 3rd that he had terminal cancer, with only a few weeks left to live, a month max. He passed away on August 5th.
His family being far away, I decided to be with him, till the dreadful day. I think it was the right thing to do, he would have done the same for me if cases were reversed, I am sure, but this experience has taken a huge toll on me.
It has turned a lot of my beliefs in disillusions. I have seen things from our health care system that sincerely shocks me. I have things from his family members that have come to see him, disturbing, to say the least.
It has left me empty. I have taken a week off work to try and regain a certain energy level, to spend time on a script I have been working on for a very long time and finally ended up doing squat. It`s like I can`t shake off the feeling of being tired, being left with so many questions and no answers. I still feel drained.
I have spent a great deal of time in nature this week. Trying to reconnect. Trying to reground. Trying to recenter.
Usually does the job. But not this time. Don`t know why. I guess time will heal fresh wounds and spiritual breakdown. Surely hope so.
This isn`t a rant as much as a confession. Just needed to vent it out.
I also apologize to anyone I might have insulted and/or offended in posts here and there in the last few weeks - including this week. My patience - as much as I tried to control it - might have been short. No. Was short.
Life, sometimes, just sucks. The last few weeks have been one of those times. Brighter days ahead, I hope. Thanks for listening.