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Washington, D.C. – In a controversial move sure to send shockwaves throughout the Corps, President Obama announced today that Commandant of the Marine Corps General Jim Amos will soon be replaced by General James Mattis.
Amos indicated his plans to resign early — having served only two years out of the four-year term as Commandant — saying that “he’s getting too old for this #.”
“I’m just sick of dealing with these savages in the press and in Congress. They keep asking me questions about snipers pissing on people, nazi flags, and other crap,” said Amos. “I figure Jim [Mattis] will certainly know how to handle them.”
“This policy that doesn’t allow sleeve tattoos is a bunch of horse#,” said General Mattis, as he shows off his own full-sleeve tattoos running down both arms. “So that’s the first thing to go.”
Another policy change includes a change to physical training. While most infantry Marines can probably keep up with the General on runs, Mattis says that he wants everyone to live up to the ethos of “Every Marine a Rifleman.”
“These air wingers and admin folks think they are sitting pretty, only heading to the gym or not doing PT at all,” said Mattis, in between his third round of 350lb back squats. “So I’ll also be leading them in 15 mile runs until they shape up.”
Finally, Mattis says he’ll reverse the no-hazing policy that Marines have been under since the nineties, saying that it’s “good goddamn training.”
Originally posted by PhantomLimb
reply to post by usmc0311
The Duffel Blog is satire. :/
Originally posted by PhantomLimb
reply to post by usmc0311
Don't get me wrong. Dude sounds like a total badass from the story. Would almost make me sign up if someone like him was in charge.
Originally posted by pheonix358
The only question I have is what would this guy do if ordered to suppress US citizens. Would he say, 'Yes Sir, Mr. President.' or would he say, 'Mr. President, that is unconstitutional, the Marines cannot attack US civilians."
P
he is absolutely right about the POG's (Persons other than grunts.)
Originally posted by DerepentLEstranger
Originally posted by pheonix358
The only question I have is what would this guy do if ordered to suppress US citizens. Would he say, 'Yes Sir, Mr. President.' or would he say, 'Mr. President, that is unconstitutional, the Marines cannot attack US civilians."
P
LOL
from the OP:
he is absolutely right about the POG's (Persons other than grunts.)
sounds like civvies are lower lifeforms to him
so id say yes
also consider he has the psychopath in chief's stamp of approval sooo...
soon to be known as the "butcher of [insert place in syria/iran here]
from the sound of it