posted on Aug, 15 2012 @ 10:13 AM
I'm probably going to get in trouble for giving away one of the least known (until today) ATS secrets . . . .
See, when you first sign up, there's a secret rules page that you only get to see if you're logging on with a big glass of Maker's Mark that
you're drinking with one of those 'crazy straws' that you get from a carney after spending $324.97 on chances to throw a basketball into a mason
Anyhoots . . . . in order for all your stars to count, you first have to post 223 times, then give yourself the secret handshake and only then will
you get the keys to the executive lounge.
After you find that lounge, you'll be met by all kinds of savory and unsavory types who will argue with you and then take your birtdate (in YY/MM/DD
order only) and thing-a-ma-jigger it into some sort of numerology false flag conspiracy theory in conjunction with the 2016 Summer Olympics and
Nimbooboozip Anti-christ thing.
ONce you meet them and are assured that your last name, when translated into the northeastern Syberian dialect of Russian, means demon seed from hell,
you will then be led to the executive liquor cabinet.
You must then restock it.
And don't forget the extra bottle of Maker's Mark for yours truly because I was such a cool dude and risked life and limb to squirt forth this
secret, unbeknownst to TPTB (another really cool ATS acronism that you've obviously used 63.7 times before as that is what unlocked your ability to
read this post).
So, once you complete that . . . and do a lap around the Washington monument sans trousers all your stars will count for stars, except the ones
you see while banging your head off the desk after reading yet another 2012 Apocalypse thread that somehow makes President Obama and Candidate Romney
responsible for the melting ice cap in your drink, because Jupiter aligned with the yet unamed moon from the Planet Platex, where men are men and bras
are pointy weapons used by the ancestors of the space aliens that built the pyramids.