I promise I'll make a point!
From a very young age i was inquisitive. I wanted to know everything about everything. Little things interested me to no end. The color of the sky,
the moon, ants, the sun, and everything in between. The older I got, the broader and more detailed the questions. How did oxygen work? Gravity? Space
flight.... Usually no one could answer.
I grew up in a very "Southern Baptist" home. Jesus was prevalent in my life from day 1. I always questioned religion. Spirituality. My Grandmother
said i needed to be a Preacher. LOL
I was 9 when i was "Saved". What did that mean to me? I was going to Heaven!! Love and Gold streets and no sin would be intrinsic! I was super
happy! Hell would be a place I would never see... My skeletons were gone. That i also questioned.
I have known since i was 5 years old I was different. But that different was wrong. Because i am Gay. So i suppressed it. Acted like that very part of
who i was did not exist. It couldn't if i wanted to see my family again after death. If i didn't want to burn i Hell for eternity. More questions
and even less answers. My God of Love was turning into something i Feared.
At 18 I came out. Accidentally actually. I had suppressed a part of myself for so long that it created an alter ego of its own. Still in High School
and dating guys beyond my years outside of it. Drinking and Drugs were apart of my scene. How i still did so well in high school i will never know. I
remember coming home, Pilled out of my mind, and telling my parents everything and leaving.
At 21, i was fed up with life! Nothing made sense. The things people are interested in were not what i was into. Drugs were a part of my life still.
Mostly the herbal kind. I almost took my life one night. Something came over me at the moment of conviction. I decided at that moment that i was worth
something. I knew not what it was. But i was determined to find out. I packed my car and ran. $400 dollars in my bank account and Orlando-bound
I lived in Orlando for a year. Its where i finally found some answers. Its where I found ATS. January 2010. I was 22 at the time. I found a safe
haven. A place where there were others like me. I found God again. I went to church. I was with ATS for all the drama filled Hype this place can
induce. BP, Christ Church, Haiti, Fukashima, Nibiru, and all of the other threads that have run into obscurity.
I decided to move back home. So i headed back to South Carolina. I thought i could change the world with all of this new information!! All of the
wonderful things i have learned!!!!
Thats when the depression hit me like a car at 80mph. No one cares. It didnt matter. The only one that cared was me and i felt lonely. It sucked.
There were days i wouldn't get out of bed. I had lost that amazing feeling of being awakened!! Because when you awake, you realize how many are still
Out of all of the Hell i've gone though, from being extreme Christian, to studying Buddhism, Hinduism, Wiccan, and everything in between. Ive finally
started to figure some things out. There is no ONE RELIGION. No religion at all actually. There is the life we live, and its our reality to shape.
Everyone of us make a mark in this world. In some WAY, SHAPE, or FORM. From the beauty of birth to the sadness of death. Or the fear of birth to the
happiness of death. The point being, each and everyone of our realities are different from each other, yet we are all related. All united. In some
I finally have sat back, looked at the bigger picture, and realized that what is around me is the Unity of Ever-Present Change. We are connected by
that if nothing else. I love people harder because of it. I judge less. I'm Happier then i've ever been. Things have become more clear. I can see
with a brighter set of eyes.
Our spirituality (or lack there of) resides in each and everyone of us. And whatever we decide is our choice that none can take. WE can believe or
not. Trust or not. Love or not. It doesn't matter really. Its all part of a Grand Design (or not).
Here we are. 3 years after that. 2013 is upon us (oh god space rock!!
) Anyway, as a long time lurker and admirer i feel its my time to finally
start putting in my 2 cents. I need to be knocked down off of this high horse i feel ive put myself on. It definitely helps the character HaHa.
So ChristIsHere represents who i was in 2010 when i started. It actually represents who I am now. No Longer affiliated with organized religion, But
very spiritual. It represents the enlightenment inside of myself. People wait for a savior that can turn there boring glass of water into wine. I say
he is here. Inside of us. We are the change. We are who create and destroy.
So ATS, you have me for Better or Worse. But that is what makes it so interesting. Change is a Gift i say. And Change you i will...