You know.,. Old people really....

reply to post by argentus


My new plan is that I'm going to tell her that all of her emails are being forwarded to her cell phone as text messages now.

That should buy me about six months of peace!

reply to post by Hefficide


You're a bad man.

I like it.

You realize, of course, that this necessitates your sending at least four text messages per day.

reply to post by argentus


Even the text message thing is problematic because she refuses to use predictive input when she texts - so if she gets a text she spends about half an hour replying.... then, if you check her "sent" box you see that all she typed was "OK".

I had to bump this to share the story of the past 72 hours of my life...

I had a doctors appointment the other day and was warned, beforehand, that I should get a ride because there was a chance I might have to have a procedure that would have involved sedation. So I asked Mumra the ever living ( or, as I call her, "Mom" ) to help me out with this. She grumbled and grumped for a few days before finally agreeing. And all was set.

The day came for my appointment and the old woman showed up about an hour early. I hadn't showered so I told her to make herself at home while I showered and got dressed. She said "OK" but then asked if she could check her email from my computer. I said "Sure thing" and went toward the shower.

Fifteen minutes folks. Fifteen minutes from door closing to door opening with me fully dressed and ready. Fifteen quick minutes start to finish.

When I walked out of the bathroom I was greeted by a veritable wall of vitriol. There she stood, enraged, insisting that I had sabotaged my own Internet just to mess with her.

Puzzled I tried to figure out what she was blabbering about... My computer is on a wireless network. It's always signed in. It is a simple click on any one of the five web browser shortcuts that inhabit my desktop and you're there. She's used computers for years. How could she not know this? But there she was - telling me that I rigged my computer so that it would not "find her Internet" - exact words.

Thankfully I live in the Atlanta area - known for nightmare traffic - so I had an out. I simply said "We'll deal with this later. Right now we have to get going in case we run into traffic. Can't be late for a doctors appointment. Nope. Nope. Nope!" And off we went.

As it happens she forgot all about wanting to check her Internet ( apparently her generic term for Facebook and email - from what my sister has told me since ). So I came into my house, relaxed, and logged onto ATS.

That's when I noticed the first problem. My web browser started hanging for no good reason. The third time it did this I opened the task manager to see what processes were running ( and hanging ) and, lo and behold, there were several processes running that I'd never seen before.

Now I won't get into the techie speak. But, suffice it to say that, since that day, I've pulled FOUR major infections out of my system. Infections that are not anywhere near related to one another in where they came from nor what they do. The worst of them was an absolute, flat out root kit - remote networking file that was a total pain to manually extract. Every time I made a move against it - it countered and replicated itself faster than I could block/sandbox/kill/delete.

Fifteen minutes... and she swears she never even got to the Internet. I'm fairly tech savvy and the truth is that I could do some major damage to a computer if I wanted to. But if you dropped me at a computer, empty handed and cold ( not prepared ) and said "Destroy this - but you can't alter or delete files - you have to find things online to cripple this machine with"... the honest truth is that I don't know if fifteen minutes would be enough time to get it done...

Maybe the old bat is a hell of a lot smarter and tech savvy than I've given her credit for...

~Heff

reply to post by Hefficide


That is sooo funny! S&F

The ex had an uncle in his late 80's. To save him from having to get up to change the television channel, he was given a new fangled thing called a remote. The uncle would turn on the TV manually, sit down, click on the remote to change the channel, but he always hit the shut off button. Get up, turn on the TV, sit down, hit the shut off button, get up... It was a freakin' riot!

Heff, That's my pay back to my kids. Live long enough to be a burden to them. One day I hope to be old and gray. with my mind going astray. Going to each of my kids homes and giving some payback!!! Easy stuff. Like cook all their damn food at one time the same day....ALL OF IT. Then borrow their car and run the gas out, call them and tell them the shatty neighborhood I left it in.

Drinking the expensive wine in the cabinet....re-placing it with colored water. Taking a dump, and useing those really nice monogramed towels as the wipe...Then throw it in the back of the cabinet. Unsrewing the lid on the salt. Feeding the dog really rich foods that upset it's stomach to the point of yakking around the house.

Answering their phones, with old man clout being an arsehole to whoever is on the other end. Getting my hands on their charge cards... so I can dress my 80 yr old arse in some Jenco Jeans with the the 65 in bottoms...Get a tattoo of them on my arse. I could go on & on. But the bottom line is. I love my kids, and I would'nt trade anything I have went thru with them for any amount of money.....But I will cook all their damn food.

On a personal note, went thru that with my mom. She passed two yrs ago. Oh how I miss those days with her & all her crap. She was my greatest teacher of life lessons. The thing she siad to me the most," Don't be stupid...like your brother" never said which brother... I have three.

reply to post by Hefficide


This made me giggle! LOL

I can relate - I don't know how many times I have had to explain the complex science of operating a TV remote control

Originally posted by Hefficide
reply to post by argentus

 

My new plan is that I'm going to tell her that all of her emails are being forwarded to her cell phone as text messages now.

That should buy me about six months of peace!

6 months of peace, unless of course you need a ride to your doctors appointment again. Maybe the "old bat" will tell you to find your own way there, and truly give you that peace.

Speaks volumes that you can call your mother an "old bat" on a public forum, as you complain about her ineptitude with computers, after she agreed to help you out.

If I offended you with that statement...well... so what?

I don't give respect to the elderly just because they are old, because some elderly people are morally corrupt, and don't deserve my respect. But I will not look down on the elderly because they do NOT know how to work technology, because the way technology is going, we could all be there someday, relying on the younger generations to help us through.

reply to post by WhisperingWinds


You say that not knowing my mother... she would happily refer to herself as an "old bat". She's grumpy, evil, and her hobby is sabotage. All things she'd laughingly and happily confess to.

It's who she is, and why I can joke about it on an online forum. If she was maliciously evil and abusive? I'd probably talk about it, but wouldn't do so in such a joking way. I love my family and they love me. Jokes like this are fair game in our family.

So don't get too offended. She'd be offended by that more than anything I've said!

She'd say "Tell that one that they need to stop taking things so seriously...."

~Heff

Originally posted by Hefficide
reply to post by WhisperingWinds

 

You say that not knowing my mother... she would happily refer to herself as an "old bat". She's grumpy, evil, and her hobby is sabotage. All things she'd laughingly and happily confess to.

It's who she is, and why I can joke about it on an online forum. If she was maliciously evil and abusive? I'd probably talk about it, but wouldn't do so in such a joking way. I love my family and they love me. Jokes like this are fair game in our family.

So don't get too offended. She'd be offended by that more than anything I've said!

She'd say "Tell that one that they need to stop taking things so seriously...."

~Heff

You're correct I don't know your mother , and she doesn't sound like such a wonderful person.

If I had a mother like that I wouldn't even have a relationship with her.

Just seems odd to me, that you would ask for help, than call her an old bat , as well as make fun of her for not being computer savvy at 70 something.

I guess every family has their own way of interacting, and I maybe I shouldn't take someone calling their mother an "old bat" so seriously.

Hefficide
I use to think the same thing about my mom she was a royal pain but she taught me about my inner strength..

She called me about everything right down to her refrigerator was dark and couldn't find the food so i had to go to her house and change the light in the fridge but i think about it now and i think she was just lonely..

But i do love your humor about it all its something you have to have when dealing with elderly parents

But in the end i wish she was still here i miss her terribly id do anything to have her drive me nuts again and her 2 in the morning calls about al-qaeda in her yard she died 3 years ago..Cherish these moments Heff she wont be around forever..peace,sugarcookie1 S&F

Earlier I was contemplating taking offense to some remarks made - when my phone rang. My mothers older sister, Mabel, (On the left in this photo) passed away today.



My mother is the blurry one on the far right, FWIW.

As a southerner, there is a tradition of making light of familial quirks. A tradition practiced by Twain, Bombeck, Grizzard, and countless others. And, in this tradition, fun is poked in the most loving of ways, with the most loving or intentions.

As my own heart is pained by the loss, I find comfort in the reality that, even at 95 years old, my aunt would have read my words here and laughed. She'd have added to the commentary and been as acerbic and witty as anyone else might be. She'd have found the joy intended here and would have participated happily in it.

Rest well aunt Mable, and Gods speed.

~Heff

reply to post by Hefficide
[more
Absolutely hilarious! Are you sure you are not talking about my mother? LOL I totally understand your situation. My sister and I could share tons of stories with you about our 83 year old mother. My mother is not a talker or fiesty, but "evil incarnate" is a very good description for her also. Thank you for sharing.

BTW, I just watched "Throw Momma from the Train" last week.

reply to post by Hefficide


Awe, I didn't get to the end before replying to your post. I am sorry to hear about your Aunt. She certainly lived a long life. Peace to your family.

reply to post by yesterdaysreality


Thank you!

She did have a long life. At some point in the near future I will likely resurrect this thread and share some stories about some of the funny things I recall her doing. A memorial to her that might make some folks smile.

~Heff

reply to post by Hefficide




OH SHUTTY!!

I Love old people, the crabbier the better!!!!


Sorry about your aunt

I had to resurrect this because, there I was, in a thread about Social Security - having a blast, when my phone rang. It was my baby sister ( Yeah, she's 40 and has two kids - but she's still my baby sister ) and she's stressed. I mean [i[stressed. Her voice is about half an octave higher than usual, her speech patterns fast and disjointed.... she's trippin'.

After a minute or two of incomprehensible babbling she finally just says "I'm at moms house, YOU NEED TO TALK TO HER!".

So, I wait and a few moments later my mother gets on the phone. She's HOT. She's ANGRY. She's YELLING, CURSING, AND SCREAMING!

At this point I'm trying to comprehend all of this and my mind is going to dark places... did one of my nephews get in some kind of trouble? Did somebody die? Did the Men In Black show up and neurolize someone??? WHAT, WHAT, WHAT???

After about ten more minutes I finally understand the problem. My sister went to my mothers house because my mother had called her ( this time ) to claim that AT&T was charging her for Internet, but she was not getting it. So my sister, knowing my mother, decided to pop-by and, yet again, explain to the cranky old lady that she, indeed, does have Internet... she just doesn't UNDERSTAND what the Internet is. They apparently hashed it down to the idea that my mother simply wants to use Facebook and to check her Yahoo mail. That's all.

Now the last time I dealt with this issue, I deleted EVERY shortcut from the old womans desktop except the shortcut to Internet Explorer ( her browser of choice and I ain't fixin' it if it ain't broke ). I then renamed that IE shortcut as the following:

CLICK HERE TO GET TO THE INTERNET. HERE AND ONLY HERE

I literally made it impossible to screw up... I thought.

As I understand it the exasperation came when my sister clicked on the "HERE AND ONLY HERE" button, then clicked the bookmark I'd left there which plainly said "Facebook" and then she asked my mother for her password.

The reply? "I don't need a password. I'm on Yahoo."

My sister probably said something along the lines of "Wha???" and then they argued for a long time.

By the time I got involved it had become apparent. My mother refuses to understand that Facebook, Yahoo, and every other website on the planet are unique sites. She sees them all as a sort of Wal Mart. And, therefore, if you shop there enough, the door greeter knows you and no more showing ID when you buy beer or smokes. She figured that having signed into Yahoo a few times had let her off the password hook, worldwide,and forever.

Once I finally understand all of this I finally say "Just type in your Facebook password and that will fix things. Just please, please, please do it. So she does.

And replies. I forgot my password.

I reply "No problem have Kim ( my sister ) walk you through password recovery. It will send a new password to your Yahoo account and you can log into it and get a new password."

Her response? I never wrote down my Yahoo password because I don't need it. I have Facebook.

Needless to say I took my nightly meds now and am pondering a shot of rum too....

God bless her. Crazy old people. Funny when they aren't YOUR crazy old people.

~Heff

reply to post by Hefficide


Yes very funny

UGH My Mother... She can be crabby and downright mean. She's 56 .I don't see see her turning into a sweet old lady, and I'm pretty sure I'm in for it!!!