Manic/Psycotic episode on ATS

reply to post by Samuelis

Glad you're feeling better, and thank you for your efforts to save the world, however misguided they might have been!

Jupiter Hotel eh? That's kinda sinchronistic in my books..

Best Regards,

NAM

Originally posted by daynight42
reply to post by unityemissions

 

I was also "doing the green" like you...and...I was taking huge amounts of vitamins which actually made me sick. I told myself all I needed to survive was bread water and vitamins. Funny...

I had a period in my life where I was taking liquid b-vitamins, drinking a few liters of tea, and eating maybe one junk food meal a day...for nearly a year.



I ended up on a very specific regiment of high dose vitamins after bloodwork, hairtest, and urine analysis, plus a ton of research. Once I started it up along side of eating several healthy meals a day, the insomnia subsided and I slowly balanced out.



There's a huge difference from just taking a ton of vitamins and eating poorly, and eating the correct doses of vitamins for your specific needs. The only huge doses (according to the RDA), were water soluble vitamins. Fat soluble were much less, and even more so the minerals.

I barely supplement these days. Just the B's & C. Every once in a while I'll take an epsom salt foot bath, or pop a zinc picolinate tab, but that's it.

"I could focus on individual rain drops while driving 120k'sph while it felt like I was driving 60. Music and colour became amazingly vivid. I felt invincible. I was fast, organised, confident and on top of the world. But the body can only handle this state for so long... "

Someone has been watching LIMITLESS.

S&F
Congrats on coming on here and opening up about your illness...I did the same about my illness a few weeks ago. Some members thought I was crazy for doing so......BUT I have found some of the MOST CARING members here on ATS!!!! Not everyone is a troll!

I'm glad you are feeling better. Talking about what is happening to us can open a door for healing for others who may be having a similar situation!!!!

When you look into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you

Good to see you made it back out in one piece.
That's a crazy story.

Well many of my friends have turned out to be , shall we say disturbed.....over the years ive had all kinds of people in my life who suffer from some delusion or another......I have loved them all,,,,,,each and every one.....
Some took the" high dive," others, remain heavily sedated,and still a few are walking the streets wounded and bleeding .... the manics seem to get the best deal somehow, as at least they get a period of being in a God like grace, at times....and far above the mainstream lots of the time....but when yer down yer really bottom -down .....
Being an old hippy, ive watched the world and the people slowly loose the will to look within .....instead they bury their heads in the quicksand of every day, #, worldly worry or stolen pleasure.....
Right as soon as i felt the first burst of leerys cow,kicking me in the head,i knew the world indeed the universe would never quite look the same....
Since that time ive never again taken anything for granted.nor expected that anything would last forever....
Once one gets used to the idea that life is fluid, and stops expecting it to remain static.....the equations get more complicated.so to speak.,,,,,but yer not so dissapointed with change.......and ready to go with the flow when it comes...
I am not sure we have the right handle on our own mind/consciousness yet,and i dont take Freud and co too seriously
After having my own brushes with the pysche system though only tangentally natured they have given me sufficient window to see the absurdity of most of the treatment of people in the system.
Did you have any funny stuff happen you remember at all?
My friend Jack xxxx was in and out of our family life many times when the world got to the point it didnt understand him, wed end up taking him home and slowly bringing hui back out of it..... over a few months
But i remember one time when he was entertaining us ....(we were poor as church mice at the time)
So spent lots of time around the stove in the winter......
Anyways he started telling us we should get some german shepherds and start raising them to produce dog milk.....well he made an evenings entertainment out of the concept and kept us and our two boys in stitches all nite with addendums and embellishments till our sides ached.....the special surge milkers, the dog farm, thesupermarket where you see the milk all lined up at 5. bucks a gallon, and then...theres the dog milk at ten cents a gallon.....
All the poor people would buy it for their kids and in the morning theyd have cereal and you bring out the carton of dog milk and they all look at it and go eeeww dog milk again?
anyways Just to say that there a lot of very real talent out there walking around not quite the same as other people....You would have liked Jack.....but straight people never quite knew how to take him......
I know im babbling so not to derail you....keep the faith.....s

reply to post by Samuelis


If what you say is true....then congrats.....you have found what you were searching for...you are awake...jarred awake but awake none the less.

Why do you refer to it as a psychotic episode? And what makes you think that modern medicine got it right to label this as the case?

About 2 years ago i came to the same type of realization...no I didn't overtly go out of my way to go climb anything as mine was gradual. I was paranoid, hyper aware, and very pressing...it was almost like a surreal dream of sorts and yes things moved very slowly as I absorbed every little detail.

In the end I snapped out of it, but was left with a fonder understanding of what is.....and what isn't. Not what the world tells me it is....but the truth of the matter beyond the worlds perception of itself which coincidentally is a false one.

I have never been in such mastery of my emotions, nor have I seen things so clearly as i do now.

When you say green and brown, I hope they both refer to one and the same,

If the brown is anything else, I raise an eyebrow at you.

Apart from that, glad to hear your better, any idea what brought it on?

Im sure writing your Op is in itself is a form of healing, the road can be long and your never sure whether you are fully traveled or as little as 10% along the road to recovery.

I too had an episode in 2006 due to my immersion in a real life job that was slowly altering who I was. I was working a minimum of 48 hours at a time , sometimes with very little sleep and of course my mental health took a nose-dive. People I worked with never told me I was losing weight weekly and looking 20 years older and it was my son who brought me back to reality with a bump by saying he had seen me walking home and I looked like an old frail man.

The end result was that I resigned from a job I had been in for 20 years at a days notice. I had lost 5 Stone in weight in the previous 6 months, but never saw the true ill me until 3 months after I quit.

My doctor, a good friend helped me through with the standard anti-depressants and 7 years on, although still not better, I feel alive again.

As a footnote I cant blame ATS or other sites for increasing my symptoms at the time because I actually withdrew from the site due to the workload.

Be strong but aware that there will still be days when you need a hug for no apparent reason other than to feel safe. Good luck to you...

respects

reply to post by Samuelis


Hi Samuelis!

I commented on that thread of your's, Balkan and me were right, were we not?

This is what I wrote:

reply posted on 28-7-2011 @ 03:46 PM by Revolution9 Originally posted by rushunt Omg. Please stop. Indigo= a spoiled child who is no different than any other, probably needs a good but whooping, however your parents think you are special, and didn't beat your but, now instead of being a productive member of society your emo, and need to be pampered you jackwagons. edit on 28-7-2011 by rushunt because: (no reason given) The emo personality type, "indigo" being a great choice of colour for that! They're pretty harmless I guess, but what a lot of squelchy dribble drabble!!! After 2012 passes we will still be typing our little fingers here all of us and all the 2012 brigade will have their little puppy tails at low mast. 2012 for me is Olympics in London and that is all. It is gonna be quite a show; London has been working very hard and I am actually quite proud of what they have been doing. Only sore note is that a lot of people got evicted because of the new developments and I just hope they found better homes. They made a big sacrifice there for this show and my respect to them. Sorry, but you 2012 dudes are gonna feel well let down. You been duped by the hype, boys and girls! One Love!

I was a bit hard on you, but I was right. I knew about it all because I worked with people with mental health problems for years and recognised it in you, but I did not want to do an online diagnosis as I am not qualified.

I also had a few experiences on your level. So glad you are well now. Look after yourself and God Bless you!

One Love!
Michael.

Originally posted by Revolution9
reply to post by Samuelis

 

Hi Samuelis!

I commented on that thread of your's, Balkan and me were right, were we not?

This is what I wrote:

reply posted on 28-7-2011 @ 03:46 PM by Revolution9 Originally posted by rushunt Omg. Please stop. Indigo= a spoiled child who is no different than any other, probably needs a good but whooping, however your parents think you are special, and didn't beat your but, now instead of being a productive member of society your emo, and need to be pampered you jackwagons. edit on 28-7-2011 by rushunt because: (no reason given) The emo personality type, "indigo" being a great choice of colour for that! They're pretty harmless I guess, but what a lot of squelchy dribble drabble!!! After 2012 passes we will still be typing our little fingers here all of us and all the 2012 brigade will have their little puppy tails at low mast. 2012 for me is Olympics in London and that is all. It is gonna be quite a show; London has been working very hard and I am actually quite proud of what they have been doing. Only sore note is that a lot of people got evicted because of the new developments and I just hope they found better homes. They made a big sacrifice there for this show and my respect to them. Sorry, but you 2012 dudes are gonna feel well let down. You been duped by the hype, boys and girls! One Love!

I was a bit hard on you, but I was right. I knew about it all because I worked with people with mental health problems for years and recognised it in you, but I did not want to do an online diagnosis as I am not qualified.

I also had a few experiences on your level. So glad you are well now. Look after yourself and God Bless you!

One Love!
Michael.

edit on 8-8-2012 by Revolution9 because: spelling

edit on 8-8-2012 by Revolution9 because: spelling

I'm well and truly impressed. Give yourself a pat on the back - you're an awesome human being.

Originally posted by JailTales

Originally posted by Revolution9
reply to post by Samuelis

 

Hi Samuelis!

I commented on that thread of your's, Balkan and me were right, were we not?

This is what I wrote:

reply posted on 28-7-2011 @ 03:46 PM by Revolution9 Originally posted by rushunt Omg. Please stop. Indigo= a spoiled child who is no different than any other, probably needs a good but whooping, however your parents think you are special, and didn't beat your but, now instead of being a productive member of society your emo, and need to be pampered you jackwagons. edit on 28-7-2011 by rushunt because: (no reason given) The emo personality type, "indigo" being a great choice of colour for that! They're pretty harmless I guess, but what a lot of squelchy dribble drabble!!! After 2012 passes we will still be typing our little fingers here all of us and all the 2012 brigade will have their little puppy tails at low mast. 2012 for me is Olympics in London and that is all. It is gonna be quite a show; London has been working very hard and I am actually quite proud of what they have been doing. Only sore note is that a lot of people got evicted because of the new developments and I just hope they found better homes. They made a big sacrifice there for this show and my respect to them. Sorry, but you 2012 dudes are gonna feel well let down. You been duped by the hype, boys and girls! One Love!

I was a bit hard on you, but I was right. I knew about it all because I worked with people with mental health problems for years and recognised it in you, but I did not want to do an online diagnosis as I am not qualified.

I also had a few experiences on your level. So glad you are well now. Look after yourself and God Bless you!

One Love!
Michael.

edit on 8-8-2012 by Revolution9 because: spelling

edit on 8-8-2012 by Revolution9 because: spelling

I'm well and truly impressed. Give yourself a pat on the back - you're an awesome human being.

I wouldn't do that, too humble! But you just did it for me. Thank you! I need to learn not to be so hard on people, I know that. Made me realise to go a bit easier on people here. Bless him. I think we all have to go through brain confusion and work through our fears and illusions. That alongside all the hype that is put out there for gullible minds! Deny ignorance! Literally! Great motto I say and one worth us all trying to live upto. Truth exists! We have to keep looking for it! We will get there!

reply to post by Samuelis

Have you thought of writing a book about your experiences? I smell a movie deal...

Thank you for sharing your story. I was surprised to see this because I thought about sharing mine earlier today, but didn't because I feared being that open in a place like this. My story is a little different in that I was diagnosed as bipolar when I was 14, but that was a false diagnosis because they don't like giving the diagnosis I really had, which was borderline personality disorder. It was a stigma even in the psychiatric profession (still is to an extent but not as bad), was considered "uncurable" and you can't treat it with medication (and where's the money in that). I spent a good part of my life going down the wrong path of medication because of a false diagnosis. When I finally got to the place I needed to be I discovered BPD is not a life sentence. I learned to change myself and now, even though I still have my issues, I no longer meet the diagnosis.

The story I was going to post about though was about being trapped in a mental hospital for nine months when I was 14. My parents couldn't get me out. The hospital was keeping me until my insurance policy ran out (which at the time was $2 million - this was in the days before limits on mental health benefits). They could have kept me in for two years and planned to. It's weird thing to think about that this happened to me. Anyway, I suppose I should write my own post about it and not ramble on here.

Again, thanks for sharing. I know that manic place well as borderlines get it too. Glad you are doing well and my advice is don't get discouraged if it comes back. I have had periods of depression all my life, some worse than others. It's taken me a long time to accept it and not fight against it. It's just how I am and part of what makes me an interesting person.

I had a self induced phycotic break in 1985 I had been a heroin addict since the late 70s .I moved to India in the 80s to have greater access to drugs mainly heroin.I ended up in a strict Hindu area no meat no alchohol ect in a small town or mountain station called Rishakesh,Same place the Beatles visited,I had my own room in a hotel called Tapovan about a couple of miles outside town,Right besides the river Ganges I made a good liveing travelling to Dehli an buying hash to sell to tourists in Rishikesh heroin was also dirt cheap,,You never convert pounds or dollars into Indian Ruppees as all ilicit deals are done in dollars or pounds.Thats all the Indian Dealers want Rupies aint worth # outside off India,At least not back then..I was buying heroin in bulk at about one pound per gram for 80 percent pure an smokeing up to 4 grams per day,,I had habbits before an gone through withdrawls before but never had such a big dependancy,,,OK long story short I started returning to Scotland and travelling back an fourth to India opened up a shop selling Indian curious an made a lot of money ...Fill in the blanks...Come to 1985 I look at myself in the mirror Im 5 ft 9 an was 8 stone I looked like a consentration camp inmate.Thought to myself you have money an property buisness ect an if you dont get your self together you will just fade away an die.Thats the thing with heroin addiction its the only thing in your life that matters.However I had this momment of clarity an decided to get clean.I had a French girlfreind Id met in India she invited me over to Paris where she could hook me up with an unlimited supply of methadone to help me wean myself of..So of I go to Paris she lived in this massive houseing project full of weird sky scrappers wich resembled J udge Dredd scenery type ultra modern hard to explain sky scrapers that didnt go straight up an down but curved over.Or sky Scrapers that were bigger at the top than at the bottom an didnt look feasable let alone safe...Dont know if it was the space age modern suroundings un nerved me.I told Chantalle that I apreaciated everything she was doing to help me but felt I had to do it on my own an go cold turkey as the only way to break my habbit,,We went out an purchased camping equipment tent sleeping bag an stuff from an ex military supply shop in Paris..Took about 500mils of methadone with me an jumped on a train to the South of France.Destination a small village /Plauge near the Spanish border called Argillles wich I knew quite well from prior experiance..This is were my reality / phycotic break happened...So I get a Taxi from the station to the caampsite book in pay about 4 weeks advance camping fees set my tent up under a tree nice shade important in the South of France iNFATE ME LILO an roll out my sleeping bag,,,Swig about 50 mills of methadone an go out to the shop in the camp site buy some bread cheese an wine an back to the tent ....I had some food an was tired so relaxed.i Had one of those walkmans state of the art at the time that could play cassetes stereo qty an also had a radio in it to pick up radio staions if you wished .For some reason I only had to cassetes with me .Donna Summer sgreatest hits an a Jam greatest Hits?Went to sleep listening to Mc Arthur Park....For some reason I didnt have a watch with me but woke up in the wee small hours,Everyone else in the Camp site was asleep an every thing else the shop ect closed.I was feeling sweaty restless an convinced myself I was starting to withdraw..Normal withdrawl symptoms are Flu like symtomps aches an pains all over your body diohrea an I mean # water through the eye of a needle an perhaps the worst is inabilaty to sleep,,And they useall last between a week to ten days,,Anyway I wasnt withdrawing but the junkie inside of me was getting greedy for the 450 mills of methadone I had left in my kitbag,,Dont know if I mentioned this I also had a couple of thousand pounds as well in English an about 500 franks fair chunk off cash...I was camped right betwwen the shower block an a tree for maximum shade so I went an had a shower to take my mind of an try an disswade myself from what was already a fore gone conclussion.Wich was I was going to take all of the remaining methadone in one fell swoop rather than eek it out an gradually reduce myself....I rationlised I was going to have to rough it a while anyway so better to have one final bush an buzz an the sooner i started to suffer the sooner I would get over it an get well again.So return from my shower swig about a third of the methadone left a hundred an odd mills an listen to the dawn chorus an eary morning capers riseing .Drift off to sleep again awake noonish an drink half of remaining methadone go out an do some exploreing make it down to the beach where everone is toned bronzed an healthy an Im the actuall 8 stone skinny weakling..So I scurry back to the camp site were I fantazise about how fit Im going to get when Im of the drug,,All the food Im

reply to post by Samuelis


Sounds like one helluva trip there son. Wish I was along for the ride.
I was diagnosed with "subtype" schizophrenia(s)?
So I can totally understand acting a little out of ones mind.
More so lately its been episodes of major derealization.

I'm glad you're doing better... it certainly makes you wonder how many here are having similar issues and are absolutely convinced they are not.. you find some far out threads here and they are convinced they are grounded and that we are the sheeps..

I'm very glad you're feeling better.. it won't be long before people pop in saying you're only feeling better because the man got to you and drugged you..

reply to post by ecossiepossie


You wrote a lot and I admit I'm interested in what you have to say .. but PLEASE go back and split that out into paragraphs .. .. I have a astigmatism and it all runs together .. I can't read a huge block of text like that without getting lost

reply to post by Samuelis


I visited ATS for a long time reading, before I joined. I wasn't such an avid fan at the time, but would stop by now and then to read.

Honestly, I think this place could screw with your head when you come here, if you take it too seriously. Perhaps they should include a disclaimer that the site is for entertainment purposes only. (they might, and I missed it.)

Anyway,l it's good to see that you realized you were in a bad way, and have gotten help. You came back here and fessed up to knowing you posted something when you were off.

I have to say, if I was your partner, I wouldn't be to thrilled with you coming back here, so there must be a lot of love and trust there.

I really appreciate your post. Thanks.