Letter to an absent dad...

Letter to an absent dad...



“Mommy, where’s daddy gone?”


“I'm not sure sweetheart.”


“When's he coming back?”


“I’m not sure.”


“But mommy..”


“Come here baby, mommy still loves you”


“Daddy still loves me too right?”


“Of course baby, we both still love still love you”


“So why did he go?”


“I don’t know baby, I don’t know. Come here my little one, give mommy a hug…”


My voice chokes and I struggle to contain my tears until I have to leave the room.


----------------------------


How could you leave her? How could you leave me to answer her questions about you every single day? She hardly ever smiles. She never laughs. She doesn’t want to play. All she does is just sit there by herself. And she cries all the time. Usually she’s okay during the day; but at night, almost every night I can hear her sobbing in her bed. And it makes me cry because she’s so innocent, so little, and she still thinks you’re the best dad in the world.


You’re a bastard and I hate you. I hate you because of what you’ve done to her. Not because you left me, but because you left her without even saying goodbye. How could you bring such a beautiful life into this world and then just leave? I know we were having problems but she doesn’t deserve to suffer for it. Our beautiful baby girl; you’ve broken her and I don’t know if she can ever be completely fixed.


Please come back. I know it won’t ever be the same but you have to come back. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t take watching our daughter in pain. I can’t take the look on her face when I can’t answer her questions. I can’t take the fact that she goes to bed in your old t-shirt every night and I can’t take washing the tear stains out from it every morning.


Please... just come home. Not for me but for her. You’re the only one who can fix this.


I just want her to smile again. Your baby girl deserves to smile again…





This one cuts a little close to home.


My dad ran out on my family when I was two and never came back. I never really cared back then, nor do I now. I don't even remember him. But now I have young kids of my own I look at them and wonder how anybody could just leave their children forever. They’re so innocent, so trusting, and so full of unconditional love no matter what you do.


How could anyone just leave that all behind? How could anyone just be so selfish?


I’ve been thinking a lot about my dad lately…


I’ve shared all this with my wife; but at the same time it’s kinda therapeutic to be able to share my thoughts with others, even if it’s just a bunch of anons on a conspiracy forum (no offence).


I think this is a story I needed to write, if only for me...


Thanks for reading.

She'll be okay in 20 years... sort of. The best thing you could do is tell her the truth. Hiding it will make it harder on her.

Originally posted by XeroOne
She'll be okay in 20 years... sort of. The best thing you could do is tell her the truth. Hiding it will make it harder on her.

Cheers man, but don't get too confused...

It is a 'story' (hence being in the story forum), based on me growing up without a dad and then having kids of my own and wondering how anyone could do such a thing.

I guess it was written because it's something that I would never want to put my kids through no matter what happened between my wife and I.

People will tell you to forgive and forget, to let go.

As if that's even possible when a parent has seriously wronged you. The hate becomes part of your very bones.

Best wishes struggling with your pain. You may not be able to forgive or forget, but there is a way to live with it. I hope so, anyway.

Pretty good. Writing your thoughts and feelings helps you to rationalise them, learn the underlying reasons why something's happened and why someone was apparently acting like a tw*t.

But you don't even have to live with it. Just brush it off and move on. These days I have no regrets, or a soul for that matter.

my dad never bothered with me as a kid lives 15 miles away from me & has visited me once in 45 years .he must be thinking of death now as i have recived 4 letters & 2 presents in the last year all remain unopened after reading this will post them back with dont bother in capitals anybody can be a father but only some one special can be a dad lol

reply to post by 1littlewolf


Brilliant work my friend. It's a topic many people don't want to broach, yet it happens all the time. The same thing pretty much happened to my eldest daughter with her father (she is adopted), and he turned to crime and drugs rather than be a man to his daughter. I rue the day he ever wants contact again, I honestly hope it never comes.

But consider this. Without that conviction would it have made you a better man and father? That if you grew up with different circumstances would it have made you the parent you are today? Just something to mull over, but I commend your dedication to your girls, kids always see parents as their heroes, even when we don't feel it ourselves. It's up to us to fill that role no matter the cost.

Oh, and S&F of course.

I don’t know how any father could leave their children, if it is within their power to stay around….

To be a dad and watch my kids grow is the most amazing thing.

I give them so much love I feel I smother them, I teach them everything I can, I care for them and would die for them.

I tell my son every day that I love him more than anything in the universe and he knows that my greatest achievement is him.

When my young daughter touches my face and looks into my eyes, I can see what I mean to her.

No, I have no idea why some fathers can go away…… and I feel sorry for the kids that have to deal with absent fathers.

On the flip side, many single mothers can do a better job of being ‘both parents’ especially when the father can be detrimental to a child’s learning and development, if you’re a bad father for whatever reason – don’t inflict that upon your kids.

Mickierocksman

Originally posted by XeroOne
Pretty good. Writing your thoughts and feelings helps you to rationalise them, learn the underlying reasons why something's happened and why someone was apparently acting like a tw*t.

But you don't even have to live with it. Just brush it off and move on. These days I have no regrets, or a soul for that matter.

edit on 5-8-2012 by XeroOne because: (no reason given)

It’s not something I’m hung up on or anything. Just something I’ve been thinking about lately. And then a week or so ago I read something on Frank Warren’s Post Secret that for whatever reason really hit home.

But I am a happy guy. Cheers for you advice though

Originally posted by silent thunder
People will tell you to forgive and forget, to let go.

As if that's even possible when a parent has seriously wronged you. The hate becomes part of your very bones.

Best wishes struggling with your pain. You may not be able to forgive or forget, but there is a way to live with it. I hope so, anyway.

I don’t hate. To tell you the truth I don’t even care. I can’t remember him even…

But it’s just now I’ve got a few youngin’s of my own I just don’t understand. Weirdly enough I managed to track him down on Google and it seems he has 5 other kids somewhere. Makes me wonder if they even know they have a brother….

Originally posted by 74Templar

Brilliant work my friend.

It's a topic many people don't want to broach, yet it happens all the time. The same thing pretty much happened to my eldest daughter with her father (she is adopted), and he turned to crime and drugs rather than be a man to his daughter. I rue the day he ever wants contact again, I honestly hope it never comes.

But consider this. Without that conviction would it have made you a better man and father? That if you grew up with different circumstances would it have made you the parent you are today? Just something to mull over, but I commend your dedication to your girls, kids always see parents as their heroes, even when we don't feel it ourselves. It's up to us to fill that role no matter the cost.

Oh, and S&F of course.

Honestly I think almost everything ultimately happens for the best if we can see it that way.

This is obviously the case with your eldest daughter.

For me, I think it probably has made me a better dad. For starters I’ve never had any role models to pick up any bad habits from, so I just make it up as I go and it seems to be working out just fine (so far ) Secondly I think you’re totally right. The fact that I never had a dad makes me committed to being the best dad in the world.

Cheers Templar

Originally posted by geobro
my dad never bothered with me as a kid lives 15 miles away from me & has visited me once in 45 years .he must be thinking of death now as i have recived 4 letters & 2 presents in the last year all remain unopened after reading this will post them back with dont bother in capitals anybody can be a father but only someone special can be a dad lol

I’ve tracked mine down and he lives just across town, (with his other kids).

Obviously I know nothing of your situation, but if it were me I would at least read the letters… See at least your dad has finally reached out to you, which is more than mine’s ever done; although I’m guessing you’re a fair bit older than me.

My view is it can’t hurt; and it may mean that 2 people die with at least one less regret…

Best wishes for you whichever path you choose.

reply to post by Mickierocksman


Shame there’s not more dad’s around like you Mickie...

I feel jealous of your kids, they’re obviously very lucky to have you
(especially one with such an amazingly cool taste in avatars)

Cheers for reading and cheers for your reply

reply to post by 1littlewolf


Oh my.



*beezzer wakes son just to hug him*

reply to post by 1littlewolf


Nicely written story. At least you're getting your feelings down and out.

My dad has never told me he's sorry for what he's done and for 25 years I've not talked to him and don't want to. There's no excuse to hurt and torment your family and not give a damn whether they live or die or if you killed them or their mother. No excuse...

Good for you. It hurts and never goes away, but in your childs eyes you will regain some sense of peace, I know my son is my life and I could never do that to him, ever.

S&F

What ever the case maybe,

Dislocate your emotions
And detach from these words.

Don't blame them,
Gain from them.

From That being,
You gained awareness.

Consider this next,

You learn fast,
From your mistakes.

no manual,
Or words of advice.

We profit most
In emotional intelligence.

But these truth's, already known.


From whatever unconsciousness before.


Somewhere between point A and B,
Waste no time in this recognition.

Forget the psychological
time gone,
past.


You are alive, now.

Live,

In this moment.

~

I apologize,
it just spilled out.


Muzz

Originally posted by beezzer

Oh my.

*beezzer wakes son just to hug him*

Aw sweet beez. I'm sure in a few years he'll regret telling his dad to piss off and realise how lucky he really is...

Originally posted by DaphneApollo

Nicely written story. At least you're getting your feelings down and out.

Ye it was strange… I never ever really gave him a second thought until recently when I was watching my babies and just started wondering how anyone could ever do it. I think writing it down helped and now I’m back to status quo – not caring either way…

My dad has never told me he's sorry for what he's done and for 25 years I've not talked to him and don't want to. There's no excuse to hurt and torment your family and not give a damn whether they live or die or if you killed them or their mother. No excuse...

I feel for you. I guess I’m just lucky in a way that all of this went down while I was too young too remember. But you’re right, there is never any excuse and I think that’s one of the reasons why so many kids are so screwed up these days.

Good for you. It hurts and never goes away, but in your child’s eyes you will regain some sense of peace, I know my son is my life and I could never do that to him, ever.

S&F

Hopefully you’ve found some peace…

But now I almost feel sorry for him (almost) because he’ll never be a part of my children’s (his grandchildren’s) lives. He’s the one losing out now. Not me…

reply to post by Ormuz


No need to aologise... They were really beautiful words. Thanks for you reading and thankyou for your response

Hello Littlewolf. The roads of life are often tortuous. We have made ​​incredible efforts to understand and put into place all the pieces of the puzzle. It takes time, patience and love. Then, suddenly, you have the answers. We are not all equal and there are people that these values ​​do not. Maybe they're afraid .... We can not judge them but looking through the eyes of compassion. Why are not aware of the void, the faults, problems that leave. They do not have the courage to be honest but we can not condemn them for that. And remember that every experience of our life needs to improve what we are. This lack prompted you to be a caring and loving parent, aware of his role. A better person ..... Take this as a test to become what they are .... With love...