An Upset Guest Walked Out of My Restaurant Because Her Server is Gay

In Dallas Texas one would be hard pressed to eat in a restaurant without encountering gay workers, managers, etc. A scene like you described would be just as upsetting as your experience - because generally there's an acceptance. HOWEVER, less than 20 miles south of Dallas, even our "civic leaders" have been known to request servers be replaced for being MEXICAN, much less gay (run a way runaway). A general survey of food service workers reveals that most restaurant kitchen staffs are largely hispanic - yet the bigotry doesn't seem to extend to the kitchen, only to the wait staff (outta sight outta mind).

Personally I don't care if someone is a bigot as long as they keep it to themselves and maintain civility ( STFU about it completely).
Unfortunately, most bigots just can't keep it to themselves and feel compelled to act out with rude behavior and announce their bigotry to the world.

ganjoa

Originally posted by mee30
Would you want someone like that eating in your restaurant? So what is the problem? The person didn't want to be served by someone gay and you don't want to have someone like that around so in this circumstance everyone is happy... Even the "server" wouldn't want to serve someone like that either so they should be happy too right?

Everyone is happy in this scenario as far as I can tell...

It sounds a lot like the server, who was in tears, was not particularly happy at all.

reply to post by DocHolidaze


Hey Macho man, the boys don't cry thing is dying out with a wicked generation, and men are becoming better people for it.

Always easy to say it is not a big deal when it is not you.

The suck it up and move on soldier ideal only works in the military.

Grow up.

I dont mean to stereotype but generally I've been told and also observed that most gay men are clean freaks and very spic and span with respect to dressing, grooming and/or maintaining their surroundings such as apartment/house/automobile etc. I wouldn't worry if a server is gay or not. I'm more concerned with the food

Jeuss #, all gays and liberals do is bitch about people that dont like they and how much they hate them. Ironic eh? Guess what,m not everyone in life is going to like you and no amount of hate and anger is going to change that. These daily whiny rants are a good clue in to why nobody likes you.

I have no issue with someones sexual orientation but if I'm paying to be served a meal I would prefer my server not be flamboyant.

Gay is acceptable now, but flamboyance, to a strait person, is extremely annoying.

I don't think many of you would want to be served by someone who annoys you.

Originally posted by 1MrMarc
Usually stupid people don't bother me, but this time I have to blow of some steam. So here's my rant.
Today at the restaurant I manage I walked from the office out to the floor to see one of my best severs of six years in tears. I asked what was wrong, and found out from the others that the lady requested a different server because the one she had was gay. I talked to the server and found that she had told him that he is going to hell for being gay. Luckily the owner was there. As I approached the owner to tell him that I was going to ask the lady to leave if she did not stop making comments like that to my staff or to anyone in general, she got up to leave. She was by herself and walked passed the owner and me saying "I will never eat here again, I'm going to Chick-Fil-A!!" My reply was "Good, Get Out!" The owner was shocked until he got the full story and went to the parking lot to 86 her for good. But she was already in her car and hopefully never coming back.
I have seen racism but never hate towards homosexuals first hand. I was upset after seeing a good person crying after experiencing pure hate. And I am still bothered like it happened to me personally. I even gave him a one arm hug. Which was not smart because he started crying again, making me feel like crying. He said "If a straight Christian man like you can hug me and accept me, why can't these other people?" And all I can say was "There are idiots in every group of people, that's just life. F 'em." I wonder what would have happened if the current events involving Chk-Fil-A weren't in the news. I bet this lady would have not said a word.
Rant Over. I feel a little better now. Luckily this sever will not quit over this incident. BUT our restaurant is in a very wealthy, far right wing, Mormon part of town. I see this happening again as the whole Chik-Fil-A gets more attention.

Why is anyone accepting this as truth? Guarantee the OP is a Chick Fil A hater because no one just screams Im going to Chick Fil A, when there has been homosexuals making out in front of the building. WTF is wrong with you people? Not to mention the fact that there is other places that have followed suit. Wendy's being one. So, why Chick Fil A? Why not Wendy's? And if she didn't know her server was gay...what makes her assume other restaurants have gay servers? Chick Fil A has gay servers. Dont freakin lie because your butt hurt about the draw back of the protests. Crap happens. GET OVER IT! I go where the food taste good and doesn't cause a heart attack after eating.

Originally posted by 1MrMarc

Originally posted by Wrabbit2000
It's certainly your rant here but I do have a question and to me as a customer, it's a BIG one.

How did the customer ever know the server was gay? How I learn that fact about someone can determine greatly how, if at all, it changes the way I act toward them. Personally, I can't recall knowing if a server was gay or straight outside of times I've been in gay bars and well....when in Rome, it's not assuming anymore. (I've met friends there who preferred the fact California gay bars were among those willing to flaunt the Ciggy Cops and put Ashtrays out on request for a long time....

)

I'm going to guess by the way you put this that your server didn't do or say anything and the customer was just a hateful troll that guessed on mannerisms or something stereotypical. In which case, its a shame your owner missed making it official in the parking lot.

I'm just curious on that point.. Thanks!

This server' mannerisms and voice definitely give him away. But he is not flaming out of control for attention either. He's just a normal guy that is openly gay.

BS FOR MILES! You have never met a gay guy or had gay friends! I've had plenty of gay friends...Most of them guys and YES...they do act girly. Not all of them but most of them. And if he wasn't "flaming out." Then how did the lady know he was gay?????? HMMMMMMMMM?????? You crap stinks for miles bro! Everyone complains about how anti-gay we are becoming...................HOW ABOUT THE FACT THAT MORE PEOPLE ARE TELLING LIES NOW A DAYS? You all complain about politicians lying but then turn around and LIE! WTH!!!! PATHETIC!

Plus not to mention...some people have a lisp that make them sound gay. So, your story is invalid. The gay community should be ashamed by this made up story. Which you will deny.

What ever happened to the customer is always right?
Bad business to let her walk out like that. Should have just gave her another waiter and apologized to her. Now she will go tell all of her religious friends who will tell all of their friends etc. Letting that one customer walk out cost your business exponential losses in customers.

The issues of complaint are moot, the customer is always right or you will fail in a business that serves the general public. Good restaurants fall head over heals to satisfy customers.

Other problems could arise from this. Ill feelings could get many complaints to the health department causing excessive inspections and fines etc.

You failed your business.

reply to post by 1MrMarc


I totally agree.

reply to post by TinfoilTP

What ever happened to the customer is always right?
Bad business to let her walk out like that. Should have just gave her another waiter and apologized to her. Now she will go tell all of her religious friends who will tell all of their friends etc. Letting that one customer walk out cost your business exponential losses in customers.

Sir, with all due respect it is THINKING LIKE YOURS that has led to the demise of our society. Nothing matters but the bottom line, right? I think the owner and manager of that restaurant should be PROUD for having reserved the right to NOT serve that bigoted, unpleasant woman!

Disgraceful. Always the money....never about the humanity. I suppose you'd have fired the waiter, too...right?
*facepalm*

You just don't get it, do you? You don't.
Neither do any of the balance sheet bean-counting corporate monstrosities that have caved in to greed and power -- especially those that are publicly traded -- that show no regard whatsoever for their employees. Good Gawd, man, show some backbone! Some things are

JUST

WRONG

reply to post by raiders247

Gay is acceptable now, but flamboyance, to a strait person, is extremely annoying.

I don't think many of you would want to be served by someone who annoys you.

The most annoying people are the bigots.
What is so annoying about a guy who sounds effeminate? I used to work in a major hotel, and one of the concierges was a gay guy, who actually became a friend of mine, and used to sell me his sundresses when he was done with them. The first time I met him he was filling out little elementary-school Barbie valentines for his coworkers. He was adored by all.

Get over it. They're here, and they're not leaving. If it annoys you, stay home. If they are clean, polite, well-mannered, and well-spoken, what's it to you what they do in the bedroom?
(And it's "Straight", not 'strait' -- that's a narrow body of water connecting two larger ones -- or a "tight position", as in "dire straits"...)

my fellow American's you have gone soft.When did we start letting people get the best of us over stupid comments? If you are gay and come off to be, not necessarily screaming from the roof tops, but give off the vibe you should expect some ignorant people to make comments. That being said it doesn't make the comments right or ok to say but we live in a country where we are privileged to think for ourselves, and not all of us think the same or at all in a lot of case's. No matter where you go you will find people with biased or bigoted opinions and you won't be able to change that, all you can do is have thick skin. If they deteriorate your self respect then they win. Be who you are and be proud of it, don't let someone that lives a lonely miserable existence bring you down to their level.

That lady was probably a closet homosexual wishing she was brave enough to admit so, and taking that anger out on people who are is her way of fighting the demon the church told her about.

Tell your server to keep his head up, and don't let the sheep keep him down. It takes a stronger person to be who they are then it does to hide behind hate. accepting who you are and not being afraid to tell the world is a amazing thing, that i admire. I think if more people were honest with themselves the world would be a better place.

Thank you Chick Fil A and all of the other bigots for standing up with them. This is what happens when you protect hateful and demeaning speech under the guise of "free speech."

reply to post by nixie_nox


i didnt single out men, when i said crying makes one appear weaker in the eyes of others, and i never said no one should ever cry, but in this world people see crying as weakness, if one wants to avoid being judged weaker one should try and keep crying to themselves, cause it is healthy,i was crying in my dream the other night and when i woke up i felt better. are you saying this man that was crying didnt appear weak, and old lady said some rude words and hes balling like a child maybe you should grow up and realize we live in a real world, a world wear people constantly judge and look to exploit weakness.

Crying is an uncontrollable response to hurt; and words can and do hurt people. I know many gay people, and especially the men with the mannerisms and tone of voice are far more susceptible to emotional responses than "guys" who can just "man up."

reply to post by wildtimes


i understand this, but what i dont understand is you just said that men with gay mannerisms are more emotional, is this a stereotype, methinks? I thought gays dont like to be sterotyped

reply to post by DocHolidaze

i understand this, but what i dont understand is you just said that men with gay mannerisms are more emotional, is this a stereotype, methinks?

No, it's their personalities!! They are different from "straight" guys; they are more in tune with their feelings, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Stereotyping? No. I said, and will repeat, that I know lots of gay men and also lesbians. The more effeminate men are also more emotional. It is what it is. Just like women.

And learning to "cowboy up" and turn off emotions is a social oppression tool. My husband is the kinda guy that, after his heart was broken before I met him, quit his very good job, bought a Harley with his saved cash, and took a year off to "process," and spent that time recklessly driving and going to bars literally "looking" for fights. ...by his own admission.
IT DIDN'T WORK.

It was a coping mechanism to mask the pain, and once he allowed himself to release the pain, he was free of it, and his true, nurturing, wounded little boy self had a chance to breathe.....now he is a loving, understanding, supportive partner who allows me to cry when I need to, and kindly comforts me without becoming uncomfortable about it.

He is no more effeminate than you are,
in fact if you were to meet him on the streets today, you would think he's STILL a hardass with a chip on his shoulder....
(he does have this way of cocking his head to the side and standing tall that intimidates people....residual from his "military police" training...you would NOT want to mess with him...)
but now that he's dealt with his anger, and faced his own issues, he is "man" enough to openly cry when he needs to, and is much freer to show his "emotional" side.

Do you know any gay men, Doc? Have you made friends with them? Have you given them a chance to explain themselves, have you been open-minded enough to hear them out? Or do you just go running in fear when a man cries? Hmmm.....worth thinking about, isn't it? Just -- thinking about??

How could you possibly know someone is gay from looking at them unless your server was wearing a little gay pride rainbow or something??

Originally posted by wildtimes
reply to post by DocHolidaze

 

i understand this, but what i dont understand is you just said that men with gay mannerisms are more emotional, is this a stereotype, methinks?

No, it's their personalities!! They are different from "straight" guys; they are more in tune with their feelings, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Stereotyping? No. I said, and will repeat, that I know lots of gay men and also lesbians. The more effeminate men are also more emotional. It is what it is. Just like women.

And learning to "cowboy up" and turn off emotions is a social oppression tool. My husband is the kinda guy that, after his heart was broken before I met him, quit his very good job, bought a Harley with his saved cash, and took a year off to "process," and spent that time recklessly driving and going to bars literally "looking" for fights. ...by his own admission.
IT DIDN'T WORK.

It was a coping mechanism to mask the pain, and once he allowed himself to release the pain, he was free of it, and his true, nurturing, wounded little boy self had a chance to breathe.....now he is a loving, understanding, supportive partner who allows me to cry when I need to, and kindly comforts me without becoming uncomfortable about it.

He is no more effeminate than you are,
in fact if you were to meet him on the streets today, you would think he's STILL a hardass with a chip on his shoulder....
(he does have this way of cocking his head to the side and standing tall that intimidates people....residual from his "military police" training...you would NOT want to mess with him...)
but now that he's dealt with his anger, and faced his own issues, he is "man" enough to openly cry when he needs to, and is much freer to show his "emotional" side.

Do you know any gay men, Doc? Have you made friends with them? Have you given them a chance to explain themselves, have you been open-minded enough to hear them out? Or do you just go running in fear when a man cries? Hmmm.....worth thinking about, isn't it? Just -- thinking about??

as a kid i was a homophobe as most teenage boys are, then i got a job at a pizza place and my manager joe who was 25 or so became a good friend and we had a lot of good conversations, it wasn't till after he got fired that i learned he was gay, i then realized how lame it was to be a homophobe, i don't judge people on there sexual orientation nor skin color, i simply suggest that in a the real world were people constantly judge and look for weakness one should man up(man or women) and block themselves from further oppression, when your by yourself or with a trusted loved one cry as much as you want its good for you. but to make a public display about it will make one appear weak, sorry that is the truth, if this guy has any co workers that don't like him or want more hours they now have a tool to hurt this guy because they know that a few harsh words will deter him from carrying on with his work, if he cant do his duty at work he is then weaker in his co workers eyes, Think about this, would you want others(besides friends and family) knowing what makes you cry, what makes you sad, what tips the scales emotionally for you? or would you rather stay emotionally shielded from those you can not trust. and yes i have gay friends.

Originally posted by silent thunder
So freaking sick of this topic. People on both sides need to get off their high horses and stop getting "offended" at every litte thing.

Do what you want, do who you want, say what you want, and always remeber that sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you.

That may have been true when you were 6 -- now it can lead to suicide. People are more complex than these little bumperstickerisms