I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit!

I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper
spray is now a seasoned veteran .

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.
He says he can stop any time .

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.
Then it dawned on me!

This girl said she recognized me from the
vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood , but it was a Type-O.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory . I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer arrested. Charged with battery .

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost
her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble .

What does a clock do when it's hungry?
It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger?
Then it hit me!

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive
vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx .

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously the government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I'm stealing that one.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.