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Chick-fil-A Refuses to Serve Gay Chickens!

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posted on Aug, 1 2012 @ 07:03 PM
Given the current uproar in the U.S. about Chik-Fil-A CEO Dan Cathy's comments regarding gay marriage, the following article can prove that there is more to the story...

This article actually came out back in 2011.

In an unprecedented response to gay rights advocates, Chick-fil-A is refusing to serve gay chickens to its largely heterosexual Christian clientele. When asked why they were refusing to debeak and massacre countless little baby chicks, who happen to share an attraction for one another, a Chick-fil-A representative claimed that it is “not in God’s plan for humans to have to digest gay chickens.

While the above comment is considerably offensive to gay humans and animals alike, what kind of people would continue to eat at such an establishment? Here is the answer...

When local Bowling Green resident Ernest B. Tass was asked for his thoughts on not being able to partake of a juicy plump gay chicken breast, Ernest said, “Hell naw, I ain’t eaten’ no queer chicken! They need to just keep that to themselves. What with all them diseases they got.” Defending his position he continued, “I mean, look ya’ll, it ain’t that I’m homo-uh-uh-mobic, or whatever. I just don’t want to eat no chicken that likes guy on guy action. That just ain’t right.”

This is so very sad. How could someone from Kentucky be so intolerant and clearly confused? His lack of understanding is shown clearly in his next response....

When informed that a male chicken is a rooster, and that the chickens one eats at Chick-fil-A are, by definition, female, Ernest began to equivocate. “Well, now, you didn’t say nothing ’bout no lady chickens. I mean, I ain’t really got no problem with that.” Getting rather excited he exclaimed, “Hell, I say you gotta video that action then deep fry them sons-of-bitches!! Woo-woo!”

The good news is that the current uproar over gay rights for chickens has now exploded! The gay animal movement has started to spread to other species!

“At first,” claimed one unnamed pioneer for gay chicken rights, “we were all a bit shocked by the news, but now we are relieved. Who would have imagined that their homophobia would turn out to be such a blessing? We are now in the planning stages of trying to convince Burger King and McDonald’s to cease the slaughter of gay and lesbian cows and pigs.”

I must admit that I was not aware of the depth of this problem until I read this article. My tight-butt Anglo view of the world has been shaken to the core. I now believe that until society accepts gay chickens, gay cows(no offense to Indians), gay pigs(no offense to Jews or Muslims), gay lobsters(sorry New England), gay dogs(no offense to Asians), gay crawfish(sorry Cajuns), gay moose(no offense to Canadians), or even gay soybeans(no offense to vegetarians), we will never have the type of peace and harmony that we all desire!

Will you now join me in standing up for the rights of these poor creatures?

posted on Aug, 1 2012 @ 07:06 PM
God, the guys who have to take notes on which chickens are gay are going to come out pretty messed up.

posted on Aug, 1 2012 @ 07:20 PM
That is pretty funny.

posted on Aug, 1 2012 @ 07:25 PM
reply to post by tvtexan

I've never seen a gay chicken before until I Googled it.

posted on Aug, 1 2012 @ 07:28 PM
I thought they kept the gay chickens in the closet.

posted on Aug, 1 2012 @ 07:35 PM
Well the food sure did taste gay.

Least gays know how to do make up, hair and nails. And, they get it right the first time.

Best hair dresser in the world is a gay man.

edit on 1-8-2012 by Manhater because: (no reason given)

posted on Aug, 1 2012 @ 07:38 PM
Ummmm, wouldn't they actually be lesbians???
You know, because they cook hens and not roosters?
edit on 1/8/2012 by just_julie because: (no reason given)

posted on Aug, 1 2012 @ 07:42 PM
Great publicity stunt, now everyone has heard of chickfila.
This whole gay thing will be forgotten however,
I guess if this place does not support individuals they hate freedom, bad stance in the US imho.

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