I have to close. I have been a waiter since I was 17. I was one of the few that actually liked being a waiter. Celebrating birthdays with people,
weddings, anniversaries. All of it. I am good at it too. It is not as easy as throwing food on a table and being fake with people. I learned it inside
and out and long story short, I found myself in Spain with my savings and a shot at a little business.
I have a little cafe /bar in Spain. You may or may not know that things are pretty bad here. Well starting Sept. there will be a global tax hike here
in the neighborhood of 21%. We are a society suffering vast unemployment and social upheaval.
I can't start charging my customers more. They are at their limit and I might as well just close. I am trying to sell the business off before I am out
so I don't lose so much before I move back to the US. I was planning to anyways but this limits my asking price. If I want out, I have to do so at a
What gets me is that I really don't have anywhere else to go. Yeah I could go home and start over again. Working 15 hours and saving like a mad
man...but for what? Not like they won't just take it all away again.
I am very frustrated and it is starting to show. Bills suck no matter what, but they hurt more now a days because we are all screwed. I go home....and
I will pay what I don't feel is justified. I will pay for security costs, interest on debt that I had nothing to do with, ect.
I am at the point in my life that I just don't see the point in building up wealth so that 20 or 30 years from now another artificially induced crash
comes and they take it all away again.
I wanted to go back to the US and join the Army. I had already started the process and was ready to talk to a recruiter to set up a time table of when
I might be able to enlist. That was my secret joy that kept me going. I thought, well screw money, my family is not so hooked on material things that
we could do fine with what I would be making.
Then I saw the general attitude of people back home. I remembered why I left and It killed me. I will not serve a farce of a government that catches
criminals utterly destroying our country and then do nothing about it. I will not serve when I can't vote, well, I could like I could play the lotto.
It is as much a pipe dream as a 1 in a billion shot goes towards making a difference.
I don't know. I have a great kid and a beautiful wife. They support me in anything I do. It's great. I don't want to do them wrong. I was thinking to
just suck it up, compromise and forget my antiquated sense of honor. I could just forget that patriotism is a thing no one wants to touch with a 10
foot pole. Yeah because at some point they hijacked it and made it into what morons have in their heart instead of common sense in their brains.
I was raised to honor my country and my people. That pride is what gets you in trouble, but love of one's land and people are what built our society
up to what it is. Loyal hardworking people who do their damndest and never give up.
I can't have that sense of community when I am the only one I know, with the occasional exception that doesn't carry weight beyond that moment that we
are with each other.
So I am closing in 3 months I think ...maybe sooner. I am faced with the fact that this is all their fault. Banks, our leaders......our
governments.....all of them. I run a tight ship. I don't waste money. I did nothing wrong. I can say that. I made money and invested it in my world.
Like my father before me. The difference is that my generation dropped the ball and let things that were bad get exceptionally worse. Unbearable.
Maybe I am too harsh on us. I don't think so. You can't act like a fool and not invite a bully into the mix. Strong people are respected. Pretty ken
and Barbie dolls invite a mad dash for power. Victory by forfeiture.
Our leaders have ruined our world in the name of theft. Our captains of industry have raped our national wealth to death. There is little doubt. There
is also little hope. No one with the wrong views makes into the thieves den that is our government. You can count on two hands how many loyal leaders
we have and you will have fingers left over.
I am so pissed. I am broken hearted because I know that really, most don't care. Most people think it is normal. It drives me insane. Had this
happened to any other generation, they would have not let it go on past another day.
Imagine the Vietnam era with the Fed scandal or the election fiascos we had. They would get their heads busted up but would not let it become their
kids problem. Sadly they are all dead or tired. It is not their problem anymore its ours. We don't care because now it's dumb to be American or
British or whatever. Now we are a global nothingness.
We are a screwed world. There really isn't anywhere to go. I think I might hold onto a small personal sense of honor, but all in all, I will not live
with it as I have up to now. They can do what they want. I will find some quiet place to educate my kid on what I think I can. A place with decent
schools where I think we can have a little for ourselves.
I know this. I will not faithfully pay taxes any more. If I can cheat the system I will. I will not preserve that honor. I will not cheat my
neighbors, but if the government of the territory I live in lets its guard down, I will have a field day. They set quite the example and you know
what, I am not better than them. I can play that game too.
I will never vote again. I will never be bothered for issues society has. Society doesn't have an identity to claim for itself so I don't feel loyalty
to nothingness. I was a loyal American but I am not anymore. I will be loyal to the good people I know. Everyone else has to earn it. No more acts of
kindness for ungrateful people. My own honor is not satisfying anymore. It is a cursed thing that gets me mocked and used. This world will grow dark
and I don't care to keep the light burning for the blind.
I have no nationality and no want of one. In that sense they do win. They can decide what to call me when they make up their minds and readjust the
borders to reflect the fantasy of global fake unity.
I am not white, but human. I am not north American, but a New Yorker. I am nothing. I will not build up wealth anymore like all my family has for a
system out to get a free ride. The same way they mock the poor and ridicule them. The way they resent helping them and call them welfare addicts....I
will not give them a free ride either.
They can suck at some other fools teet.
I don't know if I might still join the army. Not for the sense of honor that a soldier has or because it is something I always wanted to do since I
had the use of reason. No. It will be a sacrifice to get marketable skills and get out before I have to make too many compromises. I don't know.
at this point I am considering the Spanish army. They at least don't really invade other countries for no reason all the time. It would kill me though
to serve for them and not my country, but then again...I don't really have one. The USA doesn't exist anymore. It is a country readjusting to a new
reality and I am still not sure that I will find it comparable to my core beliefs. I believe in democracy. I believe in national identity since it
protects you form usurpers using you like useful idiots. When they decide I´ll check back to see if I like what they are offering.
I don't have anyone to talk to here besides my wife. She doesn't deserve extra stress. This helps.
I want to apologize to the mods and my fellow members too. I had a rough morning and went on a troll spree. My bad. I am not feeling like myself
edit on 1-8-2012 by BIHOTZ because: (no reason given)