Have you ever been able to not stop thinking about someone?

There have been times where i have not been able to stop thinking about a girl i like. It usually lasts a few days, this feeling is basically deep infatuation. The reason im posting this is because its happening to me right now. Me (17), infatuating over a girl (23). What causes this spontaneous infatuation? Are we on the same "energy" level? Everytime this happens it is pure torture because i cant get the person off my mind.

reply to post by MbretM


Personally I think you are wise and mature for your age and half way ahead of things already.

I've rarely met someone my age, let alone yours who honestly sees the difference in themselves between Lust and Love. You obviously do....for all the good it does at the moment, eh? lol... At least you aren't apt to do rash things, believing it to be true, undying love.

Happens to all of us growing up. You'll get over it. There will be a new cuter girl and you'll forget all about the old one. Trust me.

reply to post by MbretM


I feel for you man, I understand how bad this sucks to the 9 billionth degree. About 10 years ago I met this Danish chick when I was deployed over seas, we were in a relationship for the next 5 years but life happened and we had to split up because of legal stuff and immigration issues. 5 YEARS later I am still madly in love with this woman and think about her all the time. I am grateful for the time I got to spend with her, it was the happiest time of my life hands down but sometimes I wish I would have never met her because now it's torture.

it's hormones, it'll go away when you're 60 something

reply to post by MbretM


I think we all do, at least I know I have done the same thing. Some times it is welcome and some times it is not. It's (usually) not so bad when you keep thinking about someone you are crushing on, but it is not so great when you are already in a relationship with someone else who you love. Or when the person you keep thinking about is firmly in your past, for example, dreaming about an ex you definitely don't want in your life anymore.

At your age, I would say, go ahead and enjoy it - for now, you aren't troubled with all the baggage that goes with the unwanted situations such as I mentioned above. I am not sure what causes it, but I lean towards the theory that you have some kind of energy and possible karmic link. At your age, this idea will probably just feed your imagination, but please understand that it doesn't necessarily mean you are fated to be together, it is really more like a debt to be paid. Anyhow, good luck, the 23 year old is probably hung up on a 25 or 28 year old that she knows. You'll likely get through the summer and meet someone in school next year who will drive this girl right out of your mind. It just makes for a long summer of longing. I feel for you! Hang in there...

I was really into this girl a while back because I really liked her energy and she was interested in similar things than me. But I stopped hearing from her for a while

Pheromones. I had a relationship that was like that. It was awesome, and that's the only thing I could come up with as a reason.

reply to post by MbretM


Stop thinking about her and start talking to her.

Get her into your life and out of your mind.

Works every time.

reply to post by biggmoneyme


Oh thanks. Only 17 years left.

It's called having testicles. It is our male urges to conquer and control. Don't worry... flings come and go. Just remember that when you're thinking about her, she probably is notthinking about you. If she isn't calling you and asking to hang out, she's just another wishful conquest.

There will be others. Take this opportunity to remember how this feels, and how much desire can cloud judgement.

reply to post by MbretM

Ask her out!
Nomatter what happens, you will grow with it.
If she rejects you - good for your development. If not - even better .
All the possible outcomes will be an enriching and important life experience for you - one way or the other.

*Wait, you're a minor at age 17 in the U.S., right?
Wouldn't this make dating you illegal for her?
That's probably terrorism in nowadays America

If it gets to the point where you can't sleep anymore get to a doctor, you may be having an obsession. It happened to me and I felt like I was dying.

Otherwise. join the club!

reply to post by ColCurious


I dont think i can. We are in the same workout gym and if she was to decline me id be the laughing stock of the entire place.

When you are older, age doesn't make a difference. But in your age group and the 20s, you go through so many stages in a short period of time that there is a big difference between 17 and 23. She is just not going to be interested.

Start focusing on females in your age group. sorry babe.

reply to post by MbretM


Sounds like an infatuation or a crush, it will go away. Its just something that happens. Infatuations and crushes are not love, and constantly thinking about a person may be something, but if its not returned it is a one way street to a dead end.

What causes this spontaneous infatuation? Are we on the same "energy" level?

You don't want to know.

But if your curious then just ask her whats up. And then you will have your answer one way or another, but the whole thing is heavily based on social structures and pressures, and a female at the age of 23 or over, is likely not thinking of dudes who are 17.

And unlike people say it's not a maturity things its basically pure survival instincts and truncation's. That whole thing is another confusion, but lets just say females in general have more options, and once puberty hits things come to them giving them a sort of power, the power to have many dudes do anything to get to know them.

Really that is all it is and its confused for maturity when its just basic instincts, nothing to do with maturity or anything really, its pure biology. And in fact the whole maturity thing is kind of flipped upside down to, that is the more complex organism matures slower, and the less complex organism matures faster, so those who mature first are usually the less complex. Basically takes less time to cook up that ingredient.

One thing though for males there is a bit of shift switch in this system and paradigm, ie. If she makes your stomach tie up in knots, the whole butterflies thing. that is not love or whatnot, that is your body physically warning you to stay away there is danger ahead. A warning. Many have not headed that warning and many have paid for it in time. For females it would be different, but trust me, the whole aura is stay away, not we are soul mates and all that.

Everytime this happens it is pure torture because i cant get the person off my mind.

You answered your own question, its torture. And if its a continuous torture were nothing comes out of it its just not meant to be. Or it could be that your just deceiving yourself, your way to young to really know what you want anyways. I would not go and get yourself all mixed up in things if you do not know what you are about. But like I said, ask and you shall receive an answer. And that's all it is.

Originally posted by MbretM
reply to post by ColCurious

 

I dont think i can. We are in the same workout gym and if she was to decline me id be the laughing stock of the entire place.

Not so. If this girl is that gorgeous, then you can't be the only one obsessing over her. She's probably had to turn down everyone at the gym already. Get in line, son.

The only reason I can see for you to NOT ask her out is if you're tongue-tied around her. If she affects you that much, then you've put her way up on a pedestal. If you ever got past her good looks and actually got to know her, well, reality can never live up to fantasy. Good luck to you.

I have thought about certain girls with a mind of love, but I think all girls hate me for no reason, just because they hate everybody I don't take it personal. All I see are girls not caring about me, what I do take personal is that I am not able to show my love. Every day so happy without me, much more happy than is they met me. It is a powerful thing, something that can take over my body. This feeling of girls not caring about me, its wierd I know guys hate me, or the world hates me, but to see the opposite sex have no love at all it's just weird. So day by day as I walk by a girl and notice that she is more happy not loving me, and look at every guy develping care for a girl who eventually is going to show that she doesn't care about him, it is a feeling that those you love will hate you day after day with a wonder if it is ever going to change, your love growing and being reduced down to an illusion.

reply to post by greyer


I completely understand and can relate. Everything happens for a reason though, just hope whoevers controlling it has a good reason for what both of us have been through.

reply to post by greyer

A jumble of emotions, in all its a sort of game complete with a joke at the end of it, however the joke may not be all that funny. Still there is something to it, ever on going and not just the control aspect as that is a given and the whole love thing is really like having tunnel vision and oh yes it is all about boundaries and even lots in life and the lines people draw, even if those lines are drawn in sand. There is more then meets the eye, or will ever meet the eye. But in the end when its all said and done its all just the choices everybody has made, willingly.

The world however will march on, and in time it will all fall to the wayside.

Here check it out, this thread says a lot about a lot of things on this whole subject not many would want to look at it as its not a given subject, and most will not be able to see it, till it's fully manifested.

And the rest as they say will be history.
Anyways, if there was nothing there then it would not register on my radar, whoever it does. And therefore there is something to it, that something being something of the truth.

A touch subject, a touchy thread no doubt. But like this subject and thread it seems to tie into things overall. But anyways, its bizarro but there is more then a glim of truth to it even if people do not want to admit it, A woman finds the man she hattes the most....and marries him, and it can also be looked at vice versa.