posted on Aug, 30 2012 @ 11:54 AM
reply to post by wwe9112
Politics is easy! Here's a step by step guide to help you enter the wonderful and exciting world of American politics!
First, meet rich people and let them know that, if they vote for you, you'll make sure their lives are nothing but cake and roses! Make their agendas
Next, get those friends to give you a few hundred million dollars!
Put out an ad saying "Campaign manager wanted - only the meanest, dirtiest, lowest SOB's need apply!" And then hire the most reprehensible and
sociopathic person who applies.
Now find the office that you wish to hold, find out who currently possesses that office, and then have investigators dig up all the dirt that they can
find. What? What's that you say? No dirt???
Well that's OK. Then just get your rich friends to form a Super Pac for you and then instruct
them to make up all the dirt they want about your opponent! They'll be happy to do it because of that cake and roses thing you promised them!
Oh, learn to smile when you're lying. This one is important! Gotta be able to smile while lying!
Next... get five black candles, set them on the floor in a star shape... draw a circle around them in sea salt ( sea salt is important now! Can't be
table salt! ) and recite some special words in Latin and Aramaic. This will invoke Satan. When he appears tell him you are willing to trade your soul
for good poll numbers and strong public support! This will not take long as Satan always keeps a politics based soul contract in his pocket, just in
Now you're good to go! Enjoy your career in American politics!!!!!!!!!!!!!!