reply to post by NOTurTypical
It's just the etiquette I was raised with, no offense.
I know, you said that the first time it happened. Where I come from, calling a woman "Lady" is like calling a man "Bub."
Get it? Like, "Look here, Lady!" or "Listen up, Buster!" or "It's not all about you, 'buttercup." or "Now hear this, Junior!"
See??....this is an excellent case in point for building mutual understanding...
You might not have meant it, but in my dialect, that is how it sounds...
We, as the human race, have to learn to look at each other with innocent eyes...and ask...'is this what you meant?', or, when misunderstood, say
"that's not what I meant."
Yes, I'm very guilty of projecting insult onto people who turn a phrase in a particular way, whether real or imagined. I'm also very able to pick up
the subtle nuances and insinuations that accompany that type of "seeming" nicety -- and with people who turn around and say "wha? Me? No, nono,
that's not what I meant" when they really DID mean it that way.
That is one of the things I work on, nearly daily. One of my knee-jerk weaknesses, because I'm very adept at dishing it out, I am also quick to
interpret it. Therefore, I am cautious on ATS, not to use the kinds of terms that MIGHT be misconstrued or will be seen through for what they really
are. In "heaven", that doesn't happen.
In "heaven", I'd have heard you say "Ma'am", or "My friend," and not "Lady". I read and double-check every post I make, to be sure I have not
"accidentally" implied insult, and yet sometimes still, I see myself writing things like "dear heart" to someone...while I mean it, it could
taken as a condescending dis....I make sure that my words will be understood, and if I'm calling someone out for doing that, I try to stay calm.
How's that for self-disclosure and insight? I know what my hangups are. I fight them off. It's a long story, but it's my story, and I have to
struggle to overcome those "quick" reactions. When I'm feeling fragile or worn down, I'm more susceptible, and as forthright as my posts to MrJensen
were, I let them stand, for I feel the point was needing to be made. Always think about how "you" would feel in the other's shoes, and try to
understand where they're coming from.
Do I always do that in pure benevolence? in some kind of a "saintly" manner? Nope. Of course not, I'm a flawed human, just like everyone else. But I
try to avoid it, and usually (but not always) regret having been harsh.
In "heaven" we would all "speak in tongues", so no matter who you're talking to, the real message is never, ever lost in translation.
words spoken are always Kind, Compassionate, Empathetic, and Patient, even if someone "messes" up, or disagrees. THAT is what God's "heaven" and
"mercy" is. Unity and kindness, understanding and forgiveness, humility and regard from all to one another, equally.
In other words, "I recognize the Divine within you and honor it".
edit on 29-7-2012 by wildtimes because: spelling and punctuation