reply to post by matthewgraybeal
Does this help?
In the sense that it helps me explain where you are coming from.
I agree with you entirely.
Please note that I did not come up in a "Fire&Brimstone" sect, though, I was brought up Episcopalian. And it was my own assessment
things I was expected to repeat in somber, humble tones, on my knees, with my head bowed and my hands clasped in prayer...contrite admission, in
unison with the entire congregation....that we had "transgressed and were not so worthy so much as to pick up the crumbs," recited from memory every
I was a little girl, a good little girl, too....but every Sunday I had to repeat this same thing, over and over and over....
strangely, not much else really impacted me. All the miracles and fables and stories and the resurrection -- never bought into it. But that message,
that I wasn't worthy so much as to pick up crumbs REALLY poked at me (and it was sharp).
Lots of people can't understand how I got that message, though
They're all surprised like "really? nono, the message is love." Yeah, well, I
wasn't praying "Thanks for loving me", I was praying "I didn't do what I was supposed to do, and I did what I wasn't supposed to do, and I am
unworthy" ('miserable sinners', all of us).
How can adults expect sensitive, intelligent children to respond to this? My mom (who also has since left the church) was shocked to hear that's what
I "took away" from church. She saw it as loving benevolence "despite" human imperfection. And that's fine for an adult, or an older kid who is
prepared for it. But a sensitive 4-5 year old girl isn't an adult or an older kid.
This is why I think it's wrong to indoctrinate little kids. Let them look into faith and spirituality when it occurs to them to do so, and let them
which tradition they can relate to. Informed consent. Not forced confessions of unknown crimes. "You've screwed up again!,
, but I'm not going to tell you what you did or didn't do wrong, only that you screwed up and you should starve". What the hell kind of
"feedback" or "constructive criticism" or "review" is that???
Hope that makes sense.
Come to think of it, that's probably why I later in life became furious on the only TWO occasions that I got "written up" at work (both times
instigated by vindictive "mean girl" coworkers with hidden agendas)
AND that's probably a major source of my problem with church-going or pious newly born-again faithful...that they're still trying to feed me that
crap, and that they actually think it's a message of kindness and love. No. It's a condemnation of others that you have no right to impose. Look to
your own house. Mine is in order.
edit on 22-7-2012 by wildtimes because: (no reason given)