It looks like you're using an Ad Blocker.

Please white-list or disable AboveTopSecret.com in your ad-blocking tool.

Thank you.

 

Some features of ATS will be disabled while you continue to use an ad-blocker.

 

Please help with this moral dilemma

page: 1
2

log in

join
share:

posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 07:56 AM
link   
I have a circle of smoking buddies. We always chat while having a smoke outside. Last month, one of these buddies was diagnosed with lung cancer. He no longer comes outside as often as he used to because he wants to quit smoking and live as long as he can.

However, even with all the stop-smoking products available, the need for a smoke is still strong. Though he no longer buys cigarettes, as far as I can tell he asks for a smoke at least five times each day from my other smoke buddies. I have made a habit of bringing only one smoke out with me, so when he asks for one I can honestly say that I don't have any on me.

What I am getting close to saying to him is, "Look, I don't want to stand at your grave and think that I had a hand in killing you by giving you smokes. If you want to still smoke, then you need to buy your own. That way only you are responsible for your death."

Here's my dilemma. As a smoker, I know that if my buddy buys a pack of cigarettes he'll smoke all 20 of them in a day, every day. So, if we refuse to give him five cigarettes a day, then he'll smoke 20. Wouldn't I then be killing him faster?




posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 08:05 AM
link   
sounds like you're kinda shy there...i speak my mind clearly and bluntly. I would straight up tell the guy look buddy, you got cancer, I'm not giving you any smokes. If you want to smoke go buy them and in the process speed up your death but not from me.



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 08:13 AM
link   
Difficult choices, from a fellow smoker.

I'd say if he has no dependents that will hate anyone else for giving him cigarettes, and it's his own choice, then why not?

I've heard of people dealt lung cancer who never smoked.
If it prolongs the pleasure of his life, and it's what he wants, then so what?

The alternative would be to give him nothing, and to let him buy his own cigarettes, even if he smokes all twenty, and at least then morally it's entirely his own business.

Wow, you guys have cheap cigarettes to feed another smoker's habit.

Let him buy a pack of twenties, and then you guys ask for 15 of his, and he'll also just have 5.

That puts any moral ball into his court, because after a while he should ask himself whether he wants to facilitate other people into his condition.



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 08:20 AM
link   
Why don't you help him quit instead? Get him to cold turkey, have him realize the cigarette isn't controlling or making him smoke. It's just him and the addiction, he just needs to learn he's still in control of his body. When I quit smoking, the first few months were agonizing. Every tv show, movie, video game, etc... had smoking in it. That played with me a lot, made me want to smoke even more and such. But after a while it started to settle down, I was able to drink without the feeling or need to smoke and now I'm completely done with cigarettes. No more flu/colds or throat infections that cost me money. I don't buy or bum smokes off anyone, # is just dandy now.

I think it has to do with realizing you're in control, and if you want to quit then you will. If you truly care for your buddy you will get him to quit cause the longer he smokes the worst his health and addiction gets and the harder it will be to get off the drug. He will die sooner or later, it is inevitable. Lol do what I do and smoke the cigarette out of his hand, get aggressive (not threatening) with him to show how much you care for his life then maybe he'll think twice about doing it. Seriously, do something before it's too late. I know what it's like to live around people who have smoked for years, it is painful to watch them practically kill themselves and when they do pass you will only have yourself to blame.



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 08:35 AM
link   
reply to post by jiggerj
 


Both my parents died of lung cancer (they were both heavy smokers)...as a result I have never smoked.

I personally think all of you should quit smoking...and support your friend in that way.

Then all of you will get healthier and so will he.



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 08:44 AM
link   

Originally posted by caladonea
reply to post by jiggerj
 


Both my parents died of lung cancer (they were both heavy smokers)...as a result I have never smoked.

I personally think all of you should quit smoking...and support your friend in that way.

Then all of you will get healthier and so will he.


And we should all eat healthy and exercise. lol Not gonna happen. But I thank you for your input.

edit on 7/21/2012 by jiggerj because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 08:46 AM
link   

Originally posted by halfoldman
Difficult choices, from a fellow smoker.


Let him buy a pack of twenties, and then you guys ask for 15 of his, and he'll also just have 5.

That puts any moral ball into his court, because after a while he should ask himself whether he wants to facilitate other people into his condition.



That's a new angle. Thank you.

Carton of smokes cost me $14.50. I buy the tobacco and used filtered tubes.
edit on 7/21/2012 by jiggerj because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 08:52 AM
link   

Originally posted by wlord
sounds like you're kinda shy there...i speak my mind clearly and bluntly. I would straight up tell the guy look buddy, you got cancer, I'm not giving you any smokes. If you want to smoke go buy them and in the process speed up your death but not from me.


Oh no, my mind isn't clear on it, else I would've done it by now. Though what you suggest isn't wrong, it's pretty much telling him to go kill himself. And, to go kill himself so that I won't feel guilty doing it for him.

My fear is that I'm coming at this dilemma for selfish reasons, not so much to help him, but to save me from being responsible for putting someone in an early grave.
edit on 7/21/2012 by jiggerj because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 09:22 AM
link   
For whatever my opinion may be worth here....I watched my Dad die hard from lung cancer 2 years ago. I was next of kin for medical decisions, for all that means. Once someone is diagnosed and lung cancer is confirmed, I think that horse is out of the barn and it's far too late for talk of quitting. It may improve life a bit if someone has a long horizon on it.....and some do. If it isn't a long estimate though, what is gained by adding the hell of quitting.....into what isn't a real long time left to enjoy life?

I think the group of smoking buddies who have NOT been diagnosed yet are those who need to face the issues of quitting and in a real way. The fate of the friend should be all the final motivation it takes, IMO.



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 09:45 AM
link   
You and your buddys should chip in and get him a Ecig (electronic ciggerette).

Its was the only thing that worked for me. Since the day it was deliverd i havent touched a real cigg. The best part was it didnt even feel like I wasnt smoking a real cigg.

If you do get one dont buy the crap ones sold in stores, Ive tried about 8 differant brands of ecigs and the best one I think is from Haloecigs.com but dont get your liquids from there. get your liquids from unsmoke.us, they have the best flavors and inexpensive.

Be careful when buying liquids, dont get too high of a nicotine level. I got a 36mg nicotine liquid and 2 drags and I was high as a kite



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 10:06 AM
link   
reply to post by jiggerj
 


Wait....so he's already got Cancer? Are you afraid he's going to get Double Cancer or something? .......I'd just let the guy smoke. He might not have much time left anyway....He might as well enjoy the time he's got.



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 10:45 AM
link   

Originally posted by bhornbuckle75
reply to post by jiggerj
 


Wait....so he's already got Cancer? Are you afraid he's going to get Double Cancer or something? .......I'd just let the guy smoke. He might not have much time left anyway....He might as well enjoy the time he's got.


That would be what I would do. Like so many I know, he wants to smoke and still go through chemo therapy and live. The addiction is strong, and apparently so is the inability to face reality.



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 10:48 AM
link   

Originally posted by Wrabbit2000
For whatever my opinion may be worth here....I watched my Dad die hard from lung cancer 2 years ago. I was next of kin for medical decisions, for all that means. Once someone is diagnosed and lung cancer is confirmed, I think that horse is out of the barn and it's far too late for talk of quitting. It may improve life a bit if someone has a long horizon on it.....and some do. If it isn't a long estimate though, what is gained by adding the hell of quitting.....into what isn't a real long time left to enjoy life?

I think the group of smoking buddies who have NOT been diagnosed yet are those who need to face the issues of quitting and in a real way. The fate of the friend should be all the final motivation it takes, IMO.



You are so right. I took care of my brother as he was dying of cancer. One would think this would be a strong enough incentive to quit, but I'm heading out for a smoke now. (shrugging shoulders)



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 10:50 AM
link   

Originally posted by ussoldier
You and your buddys should chip in and get him a Ecig (electronic ciggerette).

Its was the only thing that worked for me. Since the day it was deliverd i havent touched a real cigg. The best part was it didnt even feel like I wasnt smoking a real cigg.

If you do get one dont buy the crap ones sold in stores, Ive tried about 8 differant brands of ecigs and the best one I think is from Haloecigs.com but dont get your liquids from there. get your liquids from unsmoke.us, they have the best flavors and inexpensive.

Be careful when buying liquids, dont get too high of a nicotine level. I got a 36mg nicotine liquid and 2 drags and I was high as a kite



This really is a great idea. I thought about it and then just let it go. Maybe I'll do this. I'll check out those sites. Thanks!

That haloecigs site is gone (I copied and pasted so I know I didn't mistype). Any reason why you wouldn't buy the battery at unsmoke.us?
edit on 7/21/2012 by jiggerj because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 11:07 AM
link   

Originally posted by caladonea
reply to post by jiggerj
 

I personally think all of you should quit smoking...and support your friend in that way.


I agree with Caledonia. If you want to view this from a strictly moral perspective, then the highest good that you could do for your friend is to buy e-cigs for both of you and be his "quit buddy."

Interesting that you posed the question as a moral dilemma and then so easily dismissed the 'quit together' idea with "not gonna happen." Don't get me wrong -- I'm an ex-smoker and I'm not judging you. It's SO hard to quit! But maybe the Universe is throwing you an opportunity to rise to the moral level of your higher self. If you don't meet the challenge now, then you'll probably have the opportunity again, later. Good luck!



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 11:15 AM
link   

Originally posted by graceunderpressure

Originally posted by caladonea
reply to post by jiggerj
 

I personally think all of you should quit smoking...and support your friend in that way.


I agree with Caledonia. If you want to view this from a strictly moral perspective, then the highest good that you could do for your friend is to buy e-cigs for both of you and be his "quit buddy."

Interesting that you posed the question as a moral dilemma and then so easily dismissed the 'quit together' idea with "not gonna happen." Don't get me wrong -- I'm an ex-smoker and I'm not judging you. It's SO hard to quit! But maybe the Universe is throwing you an opportunity to rise to the moral level of your higher self. If you don't meet the challenge now, then you'll probably have the opportunity again, later. Good luck!


Well, after trying to quit so many times that I've lost count, I've quit trying to quit. I already have both feet in the grave, myself, but I seem to be levitating. Everytime I tried to quit, my mind went into this unrelenting chant of Have a cigarette. Have a cigarette. Have a cigarette. Have a cigarette. Have a cigarette. Have a cigarette.

I once fought it for three days and it just wouldn't let up, to the point where I would have gone insane if I had kept it up. I'm not spending my last moments of life in such a complete hell.



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 12:42 PM
link   
reply to post by jiggerj
 

I am on the other side of that particular fence, long time smoker that quit 5 years ago, and I still bum one once in awhile, or ask for a puff or two from a friend who is smoking. They all understand, I have Emphysema, and cannot smoke on a regular basis, even my wife understands. But the guy you spoke about looks like a regular smoker, he just stopped buying them. I say cut him off.



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 12:55 PM
link   

Originally posted by jiggerj

Originally posted by caladonea
reply to post by jiggerj
 


Both my parents died of lung cancer (they were both heavy smokers)...as a result I have never smoked.

I personally think all of you should quit smoking...and support your friend in that way.

Then all of you will get healthier and so will he.


And we should all eat healthy and exercise. lol Not gonna happen. But I thank you for your input.


The odd thing is, both my pafrents smoked and neither of them died of lung cancer or any smoking-related disease. It's all in probabilities, I guess.

I actually think your present method of taking only one smoke out is a good one. You are making a personal statement. It's not your place to tell your other smoking buddies not to give him a smoke. That's their issue, not yours. You could suggest they do the same thing you are doing, but other than that you are really out of the loop here. It's neither your business nor your responsibility.



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 02:19 PM
link   
reply to post by jiggerj
 


Here is the link www.halocigs.com...

This kit has everything you need.. the Halo G6 cigs are the easiest ones to use. I tried the ones from unsmoke and the cartomizers burn out quick and the batteries dont hold a charge for long. Might be a good idea for all of you to use the ecigs. Your friend getting lung cancer should be a eye opener.

The kit comes with 5 filled cartomizers, you can choose empty cartomizers if you want to fill them with your own liquids. my advice would be choose the option to have them filled with Prime15 ( best flavor they have). You might also want to order couple more sets of blank cartomizers so he can fill them with his own liquid.
each cartomizer last about 2 - 3weeks if you keep them topped off with liquid. Whatever you do dont smoke out of a cartomizer that low on liquid or it will burn it up...Ive heard of people washing the cartos out with hot water when they stop working as well.

If you do decide to get it send me a messege, I think I have some coupon codes I can give you. I will also tell you the best flavor liquids from unsmoke.us

Hope your friend makes a full recovery, its a long hard road to beat lung cancer but its not uncommon to live a long healthy life after lung cancer
edit on 21-7-2012 by ussoldier because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 21 2012 @ 03:46 PM
link   

Originally posted by autowrench
reply to post by jiggerj
 

I am on the other side of that particular fence, long time smoker that quit 5 years ago, and I still bum one once in awhile, or ask for a puff or two from a friend who is smoking. They all understand, I have Emphysema, and cannot smoke on a regular basis, even my wife understands. But the guy you spoke about looks like a regular smoker, he just stopped buying them. I say cut him off.



Money is not the issue at all. This guy could buy a carton a week. And since I roll my smokes I doubt each cigarette costs more than 5 cents. If it were a matter of money, I would have no problem rolling ten cigarettes a day for him.
edit on 7/21/2012 by jiggerj because: (no reason given)



new topics

top topics



 
2

log in

join