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How do you cope with an ADHD 17/son with violent, VIOLENT outbursts?

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posted on Jul, 25 2012 @ 10:03 AM
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reply to post by sirbanterlot
 


In one aspect you may be right, at 17 years old, it would be a lot more difficult at this stage.

However, this did not begin at 17 this began early in life when he was younger.

She missed the boat and let the kid be in charge right out of the womb. People must learn you have to start the discipline as soon as the kid is born, not wait to get around to it when the kid becomes a teen, it is too late then.




posted on Jul, 25 2012 @ 02:34 PM
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reply to post by Skewed
 


Yes discipline would possibly have helped with him being a little more respectful but with this mental condition it is something that is triggered not by the way you are raised but in genes, traumatic experience or many over way. my sister is the same age and the exact same condition, The medication is the only help, she used to skip medication because she didn't like it and living with her was like hell, it still is! but not as bad.

I am only 19 yes but I do live with two women with mental disorders (one is ADHD and the other is just called mental disorder because its so severe doctors cannot narrow it down) so in some aspects I know what you are dealing with but to be physical is the WORST idea.

How is his attitude with you? My sister is the most abusive person to me and my mother but when my mums friend comes over she is an angel for her because she is scared of her. This woman is not physical but my sister behaves for her through respect and fear. Some ADHD children/adults are respectful and calm to one person but when they are not around they are hell for the others.



posted on Jul, 25 2012 @ 03:41 PM
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As far as ADHD goes, I am not convinced it is as much of a problem as they say it is, it seems more like an excuse more than anything. However, that does not mean the problem does not exist to a much smaller degree.

I have ADHD to, by definition that is. My child did/does too.
When I was growing up, my ass got grounded, sent to my room, went to bed without dinner, no tv, no atari 400. What ever my parents felt the situation called for is what I got. I learned very quickly that I am not allowed to throw a temper tantrum in the store when mommy would not get me a snickers bar. I did not get a snickers bar for 6 months after that little stunt, and my ass was on fire.

Fast forward to today. My child was diagnosed with ADHD by, get this, his teacher. Who the hell gives teachers the ability to make medical decisions? But, I took my child to the doc, and he informed me that my child did have ADHD to a degree. The doc told me to use discipline before we tried turning him into a zombie. The discipline worked, I only had to get the teachers to do their job when he, as the teachers would say was "being difficult".



posted on Jul, 25 2012 @ 07:50 PM
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Originally posted by sirbanterlot
reply to post by Skewed
 

but when my mums friend comes over she is an angel for her because she is scared of her. This woman is not physical but my sister behaves for her through respect and fear. Some ADHD children/adults are respectful and calm to one person but when they are not around they are hell for the others.


Ahha. You see, I was dead scared of my old man. You could have said I had a temper problem as a kid too but not around my old man that's for sure. Personally, I think blaming the temper on metal illness is a cop-out. His mom probably drives him nuts too. I know she drove me nuts 17 years ago. She tends to think she is in control of everything regardless if she's making the right decision. For example, she's call and if I don't answer, she's call immediately after that over and over and over until I pick up the phone. Like who does that?? We all have call display. I asked for the foster parent's phone number but she needs to know why. Like I really need to explain why?

When I met my boy, he was at his best behavior. If he could be that once, then he has no problem knowing right from wrong. By allowing him to get a tattoo, buys him smokes etc etc, she's only enabling him. Mental illness or not, no means no.

Here's another thing. I think she's the type of person who would prefer his issues are from a mental illness rather than accepting she's at fault. She really puts too much faith into big pharma, doctors, shrinks, education system or anyone in that profession. She wants to belong to that crowd so bad but never really got there. So instead she's a teacher's aid. Instead of listening to my advice about putting him on a plane and come visit me, get out of that sh!t hole vacuum city, she can't deal with it. Because, he might be better off with me than her. There is more to this...
edit on 25-7-2012 by FlySolo because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 27 2012 @ 06:23 PM
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reply to post by FlySolo
 


You could say blaming the illness is a cop-out but he still has that illness but if she just puts the blame of everything he does onto that then you are right. You should put your foot down and say no to them but they do kick off about it so it is stressful.

As for her winding him up, that sounds like it would piss me off so much if she did that to me. She sounds to me like she is the cause of his ADHD, like I said before it can be triggered by pretty much anything which does include being stressed, maybe you should try and get custody? She HAS to let him see you if he wants to so take it to court if you have to just to give him a break from her as it sounds like he needs it.

I am not an expert but I have had to deal with the same and I am just trying to help someone else out.



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