I want to talk to you about valhalla

(Please in no way take anything that i say right now seriously)

Hi there i am here to talk to you about Valhalla Or Viking heaven to some how to get there and Ragnarok

First to get to Viking heaven you have to be a Viking To train yourself i recommend doing at least 5 pushups EVERY SINGE DAY I know its going to be hard but no one said being awesome was easy next get a rading party together and start getting in to epic battles remember the only way to get into Viking heaven is to die a glorious death in battle so don't be afraid to die if you manage to get yourself killed then congrats you get into Viking heaven (I heard the really cool guys get to chill with Odin himself)

Viking heaven is kind of like sleep away camp with more axes and blood shed Basically all you do every single day is battle and fight other vikings and after the battle everyone is resurrected and gets wasted on mead and its just a huge party but all this fighting is only just practice

Then comes Ragnarok The twilight of the gods basically what happens is that a giant wolf eats the sun something else happens then all the gods vikings dwarfs ninjas robots samurais dragons and monsters all start beating the holy living bejesus out of each other imagine the biblical apocalypse cranked up to 11 then thrown into a blender with some death metal some beer and world war 3 then everything dies only 2 people live on and get busy with the humping

Well you guys i am leaving all this talk about warfare and rading has made me want to start my own viking party wish me luck

Originally posted by ninjas4321
(Please in no way take anything that i say right now seriously)

Hi there i am here to talk to you about Valhalla Or Viking heaven to some how to get there and Ragnarok

First to get to Viking heaven you have to be a Viking To train yourself i recommend doing at least 5 pushups EVERY SINGE DAY I know its going to be hard but no one said being awesome was easy next get a rading party together and start getting in to epic battles remember the only way to get into Viking heaven is to die a glorious death in battle so don't be afraid to die if you manage to get yourself killed then congrats you get into Viking heaven (I heard the really cool guys get to chill with Odin himself)

Viking heaven is kind of like sleep away camp with more axes and blood shed Basically all you do every single day is battle and fight other vikings and after the battle everyone is resurrected and gets wasted on mead and its just a huge party but all this fighting is only just practice

Then comes Ragnarok The twilight of the gods basically what happens is that a giant wolf eats the sun something else happens then all the gods vikings dwarfs ninjas robots samurais dragons and monsters all start beating the holy living bejesus out of each other imagine the biblical apocalypse cranked up to 11 then thrown into a blender with some death metal some beer and world war 3 then everything dies only 2 people live on and get busy with the humping

edit on 19-7-2012 by ninjas4321 because: (no reason given)

.... Robbaz.... ?

reply to post by ninjas4321


wow I know your joking and all but dont give these young impressionable people any ideas. Its a lot harder more like you have to die in battle and be a great warrior. Or you can go with option two and be crucified and stabbed through the heart with a spear.

*ding-dong*

"Hello, my name is Brother Chad. We are calling on you and your neighbors with an interesting article titled The Elder Gods and You. I am wondering if you'd be interested in reading this. No? Well, have a nice day, and may the creeping madness devour your soul."

Do Vikings not know about punctuation?

Wow that's hard to read...

Can't you skip all that fighting and dying and just drink beer and eat brats all the time If they allow that I'll think about signing up for a three month tour. What happens in Valhalla stays in Valhalla

Well, since ATS is about DENYING ignorance, here goes:

The Viking religion is known as Asatru. When you die on earth, yes you go to Valhalla if you've lived your life by the nine noble virtues and died with honor IN BATTLE. It is an ancestral based religion and when/if you get to Valhalla, you get to be with your kin - - if they died with honor in battle as well. Vikings were a strong people, but don't confuse strength and honor with bloodlust. Valhalla is warrior heaven, full of the great stuff the brave enjoyed in life!

People who died dishonored go to Hifhel; a place of torment and the rest go to Hel: a place of rest and peace.
Further Reading

So if you're looking for a great party, you'd better sharpen that axe, never tell a lie and die with strength and honor

reply to post by Invariance


So what about Helsinki, was it a rest home or gate to the underworld?

reply to post by rickymouse


Err, isn't that a place in Finnland??
~2nd: my favorite number of the alphabet is purple!

reply to post by Invariance


Finland...Vinland, they both sound the same when you don't have teeth.

Ok, so you aspire to be a murderer....now where'd i put that number to the FBI....

Originally posted by Invariance
Well, since ATS is about DENYING ignorance, here goes:

The Viking religion is known as Asatru. When you die on earth, yes you go to Valhalla if you've lived your life by the nine noble virtues and died with honor IN BATTLE. It is an ancestral based religion and when/if you get to Valhalla, you get to be with your kin - - if they died with honor in battle as well. Vikings were a strong people, but don't confuse strength and honor with bloodlust. Valhalla is warrior heaven, full of the great stuff the brave enjoyed in life!

People who died dishonored go to Hifhel; a place of torment and the rest go to Hel: a place of rest and peace.
Further Reading

So if you're looking for a great party, you'd better sharpen that axe, never tell a lie and die with strength and honor

edit on 20-7-2012 by Invariance because: meh

Yes and they even thought murdering women and children, raping and pillaging and stealing was honorable. Yeah thats real honorable , sounds like the european version of Islam. Minus the Taqqiya and 72 perpetual virgins.