reply to post by Most Infamous
(I apologize for this not making much sense. I have 4and a half hours left and some things hurt and I just awoke from a nap)
I see exactly what you're saying here.
Something I have noticed is that one of my problems stems from this: I don't ask for much, and when individuals ask me what I want for "this holiday
or that" I usually tell them nothing. When asked if I would like x y or z I usually ask those individuals not to get me anything. My parents have
commented on me not really wanting much of the material things in life, and my friends have made notice of this too. I am noticeably not bothered by
much. To bother me, one has to really dig down into a space that is within.
MY PROBLEM: I took this as some sign that the space within was some what sacred and not to be touched. The little things that I did enjoy, being alone
at times, my little time for internet, and my exercise time were not to be disturbed. I was "not to be bothered" when participating in the few
things that I seemed to "want". This is more than wrong. It goes along with the mentality, "Well, I recycle and am energy conscious, where is my
parade?" Well good, you do all of that...but why give a parade to someone doing something that they are supposed to do?
My problem: The moderation of desire and pleasure is not some type of HIGH HORSE. It is something individuals are supposed to be doing in the first
place. Everything, my meditation, my not seeking much material gain in life, and my hopes to give the souls of man larger shells to live in (oh
wow...that's something I kept through all this thinking) are N O R M A L. Why in the hell should someone be praised for doing something expected of
them.
The only reason people should be praised for is: Existing. That's praise worthy enough. All other things, people should not be demonized or
aggrandized for hearing, speaking, or doing.
The Gita helped solidify things I already knew...We are to act through nonaction and treat all outside of the maya of duality. Come at pleasure and
pain with the same response. Come at failure and success with the same response. Come at a baby's birth and a friend's death with the same response.
Take no expectation of reward or rebuke with actions. Have no expectations, just do what you desire to do the best you can do it and focus upon the
interconnectedness in all things (and find joy in that).
In short: This fasting is nothing. It meant nothing. It represents nothing. It simply is. Three days of eating food would have been roughly the same.
This was as simple as doing what I always do. I have been able to think about a few things a little more and I have provided myself with better
understandings of my character flaws....but in all honesty, this could have been done without the fast. The fast does not make it special, the fast
simply acts as another sacrifice to the Oneness that pervades all (ie: God/Trueself) but...if one is truly acting within nonaction then all actions
are sacrifices to the Godmind.
The God, the omniverse, the galaxy, the constellations, the planet, the sinner, the saint, the mother, the killer, the king, the peasant, the
microorganisms, the dirt, the atoms, and the quarks. ALL are the same...essentially, where it matters. All are to be treated just the same, with love.
And no being is to be "praised" for treating everyone with love. It's what were were SUPPOSED to be doing in the first place. A round of applause
for doing one's duty? Somehow I've come to find that to be, "not correct".
But what is correct anyways, except for a subjective pretext granted to an idea or action that coincides with one's beliefs.
This stuff is simply amazing given the proper thought. I know, I sounded like a raving lunatic in this post...in a few days I'll attempt to clarify.