The Devil Dreams on an Idle Horse

They say," The Devil dreams on an idle horse ". But who are they, to say such things ? And what about you ? Are you one of those who complete the exchange ? That bargain, that rapture of words destined to find truth in the collective human psyche. Or maybe you're like me. Me ? I have the magic of sweet memories, all the way back to the very day I was born. I remember the rush and the surprize of light I felt, passing through my mothers birth canal. I remember being held up side down and screaming in terror, as the pattern of smoked hickory and yellow colored tile floor, came into focus. I remeber the doctors thick jet black hair and the white cap he donned. The thick lenses of his black framed glasses. His white apron and rubber gloves spattered with blood. His stocky build and hieght. But I don't remember feeling any pain and as I came to find out, the doctor didn't have to smack me.

I guess he stopped his normal procedure, at that moment he heard my screaming new voice, that would later earn me the nickname Vavoom. As Mom would often say proudly, " The doctor didn't have to smack you cause life did ". To this day I wonder if her saying that didn't some how curse me. Whah.

I've had these memories and many others from infancy. But didn't pay them any mind up to my tewnty first birthday. When I finally got around to asking my Mom about these memories, I had always assumed were, just the memory of some odd dream. What were they and where did they come from ? I remember the astonished look on her face, as I described the day I was born. I even told her about the cold St. Joseph Missouri rain on the way to the hospital.

She said, "No that was they day before!" and jumped out of her chair at the dinner table, yelling the name of her lifetime love and husband, my Dad, who loved her faithfully, up to the day they died together in a car accident. They were always together once their three kids, two boys and a girl in the middle, were raised up and able. She yelled," Pete ! Damn you! Pete!" He was already almost through the sliding patio door behind her, when he said back," Now what's he done?" I remember saying, " On my birthday even"? With a look of utter shock and extended arms with open hands in front, as if pleading my innoscence. She asked him what kind of joke this
was and how he could be a part of such a scam? And believe me, she had my whole childhood full of reasons to think such a thing at first.

But I could tell that if this were a joke, we were playing on her? We were both in deep poo poo by the anger on her face. And by the time she got herself and her finger, turned around towards my Pop. I guess she somehow figured out it wasn't a joke. She had me repeat everything over again exactly as I told her, word for word and interupted me where and when, I used the slightest difference in wording. Then with her open hand, raised just under her chin receivingly and bending the upper half of her body towards my Pop. Then flinging her open hand towards him slightly, then around to the small of her back and holding it there. She exclaimed, " Now you stand there Henry Shores and you tell me, you had nothing to do with this?"

My Dad walked right by her, talking out the side of his neck saying, "I don't know where all these wild accusations can even be coming from. After all the countless times we've sat talking about this very same thing. How you can even implicate me, in such a wild ass scheme? You know he has a good memory". And as usual my Dad wouldn't bat an eye if he seen a ghost. He never let anytrhing give him the ooz and ahs. But you can bet your last dollar, if it would have been a joke? It most of the time would have belonged to him. Then again,if my Mom ever asked him a question the joke was pretty much over. Because from what I know and even what she said, my Dad wasn't even capable of lying to her.

So this is my offering to humanity. I was raised up in a very humble home in this world, by two people who spent their lives loving God, each other and their children. In that order and under no uncertain terms. I feel this has everything to do with having a great memory. I believe because the doctor abandoned his usual protocol to inflict pain, I wasn't quick to forget the things that happened to me. My memory of birth and even of the day before remain intact to this day. Even as I remeber the ride to the hospital, being in the car, jumping from the backseat to the front seat. In my Mothers lap, looking out the passenger door window, at that rainy Missouri day of Febuary third 1959. Then to the back seat and back again to the front. Then my next memory from there we go back to where I started this account. So what about you?

Does this seem impossible to you ? If so, then I'd like to suggest that you may be someone who knows nothing of the magic in memories. You could quite possibly belong to the few who offer words of fame. But the chances are, you're one of the many who accept the bargain finding truth in the words of people who also know nothing of the magic in memories. And therefore can know nothing of God. It isn't just drama. But it is most definetly the trauma of life, that can wipe away what should be recorded in each one of us. Our very own happiness and the magic of our story. If we are raised in a violent or disfunctional home, or in an atmosphere of alcoholism and insecurity. Then there are very few intelligent enough not to let fear replace those memories. Sometimes with
absolutely nothing. But there are those who do and are intelligent enough.. And what about the Devil dreaming on an idle horse thing anyway? What was that all about?

The fact of what that was all about is, that some times, the truth comes from the most unlikely people.

RandyVS

this is a little off topic, but, your thread is really hard to follow in it current setting with one line going across and another only halfway, then all the way, then halfway. im only a quarter of the way through and my eyes are killing me.

so far an interesting post though. there, that was on on topic.

Interesting story. Most people don't have that kind of memory, or simply can't access it in that regard. I guess that makes you unique in some ways.

Now onto another subject... This will help you out greatly when it comes to future posts.

Computers have this thing called "word wrap" and you only have to hit return for paragraph breaks. Computers aren't typewriters, even if they share a similar QWERTY keyboard. Manual returns aren't needed and they actually mess up the flow. On the web, soft formatting is the preferred way to go. Nor is it like desktop publishing for print with WYSIWYG where you might want forced breaks to manage text flow for a given layout. This is because people have different screen widths and browser prefferences that affect how text falls into place relative to the forum layout. If you force a break to reflow text somebody else will see the line breakup prematurely and it looks awkward. (Which is what happened all over this post.)

Still what you have here is better than one huge contiguous wall of text. You do understand how to use paragraphs unlike some people. I'll give you credit there.

One last thing... Preview button is your friend. Try to use it at least once before deciding it's all ready to go.

Every person has to find their own path.

Yours started early on, by whatever grace. Some people stumble and fall along their path.

Thanks for sharing your own story, but each human, contracting breath has to follow their own.

reply to post by Dizrael


There you go my fellow member and thank you very much for the critique.
I couldn't really tell if that was easier to read or what. But thanks.

reply to post by pauljs75

One last thing... Preview button is your friend. Try to use it at least once before deciding it's all ready to go.

Right on Paul. I do use the preview. But had to see if was easier to read the way I had it or not ? I don't usually do
a thread first in word pad. So I think that was part of the problem this time round. As you can see I made corrections accordingly. And always do my best to bring readers the easiest way to read my posts. Thank you for the help.

I had a dream once of what my life was like before i was born, as a spirit. Felt like a memory though because my twin brother was there too but he didn't look like he does now and neither did i. I remember wanting to know why people felt sorrow, human emotion was something i didn't understand but wanted to experience.

Originally posted by lonewolf19792000
I had a dream once of what my life was like before i was born, as a spirit. Felt like a memory though because my twin brother was there too but he didn't look like he does now and neither did i. I remember wanting to know why people felt sorrow, human emotion was something i didn't understand but wanted to experience.

So you caught my thread huh wolf ? Thanks for look'in out. I hope it gives people some idea of the subjective reasoning that guides me. And why the objective will never even matter.

When my niece was around two, give or take, and just learning to put words together to make a sentence, she told her mother that she remembered being inside of her and she remembered her two brothers being there too. They are much older than her. They believed her, and so do I. That kid has a memory.

So yes, I believe that you remember it.

My husband remembers taking his first steps, but that is as far back as it goes.

Where as me....I can barely remember before 5-6 years old lol

Originally posted by tport17
When my niece was around two, give or take, and just learning to put words together to make a sentence, she told her mother that she remembered being inside of her and she remembered her two brothers being there too. They are much older than her. They believed her, and so do I. That kid has a memory.

So yes, I believe that you remember it.

My husband remembers taking his first steps, but that is as far back as it goes.

Where as me....I can barely remember before 5-6 years old lol

I have to say, I just really love it when people of such a sweet nature post to one of my threads.
Thank you sweet heart.

Hey, cool, thanks for sharing that with us bud! My first memory is of being about 3 and getting caught by my parents doing sexual things with the neighbor girl that I must've learned by walking in on my parents having sex. She seemed to know about those things, too... Maybe she walked in on her parents too? Does every kid eventually walk in on their parents? Anyway, thanks again for sharing. I believe you.

Great story of encouragement for those still needing to find themselves. Great Job!

reply to post by Awakened2012


Life is what is for each of us. I just call em like I see em. You don't have to like it.