Is being alone the only way to true peace? Deep questions

You're an empath. It's hard to deal with. My trip to the DMV today sucked all the energy out of me. You have to learn how to set up a wall between you and others. 95% of people on this planet are energy suckers and there's only a couple of us energy radiators. Save your energy, guard it with everything you have and only share it with those who are worthy of it.

Don't know if anyone mentioned this (sorry if so)

but you should read Rainer Maria Rilke's "Letters To A Young Poet"

it's all about finding the value in solitude and social isolation. It's a pretty great read. And quite short (if youre the kind of person that matters to)

I agree with this post 100%. I feel the same exact way!!! But i think being an introvert and being selfish is the same thing? No, actually being an introvert involves being selfish. And being selfish doesnt always involve being an introvert. Same thing with a rectangle can be a square but a square cant be a rectangle, or something of that nature.

reply to post by WWu777


The highest state of inner peace and tranquility is probably reached through meditation, and when doing so, one is alone.
What you are talking about would be something similar.
You can think and focus without interruption when you are alone.
I would say that it is almost as if you are in some kind of positive prolonged meditative state.

I see nothing bad with how you feel/behave.

I don't like the elite, but they're right about one thing: the masses are vile, despicable and violent. So civilized people have no choice but to stay away from the masses. But the problem is: concepts like seclusion, solitude etc. have a religious color, and secular humanists are therefore caught between worlds. On the one hand, there is vulgar materialism; on the other, religious quackery.

reply to post by WWu777


I have always been a hermit at heart. I am currently working on a plan to withdraw from society, family, friends and live in isolation and honestly I cannot wait. It's the only thing I look forward to in my future. I am not a depressed person at all, quiet the opposite really. I want to live a lone, secluded, quiet life minding my own business and not having to put up with anyone else. The toughest part is finding a online job at the moment. Any suggestions?

Originally posted by conspiracy88
You're an empath. It's hard to deal with. My trip to the DMV today sucked all the energy out of me. You have to learn how to set up a wall between you and others. 95% of people on this planet are energy suckers and there's only a couple of us energy radiators. Save your energy, guard it with everything you have and only share it with those who are worthy of it.

You are correct.
I would suggest closing the chakras to keep the energy in and others from draining them.
It is very easy to do. I do it in a couple of seconds.

For example when I wake up, or just about whenever I feel I have not done it in a while.
I imagine that I step inside a bubble and close it up. Thats it!
If I am walking outside on the street and have a thought about not having done it that day, or if I am going to a place I know will be full of people draining my energy, I visualize the bubble in front of me, and I see my self walking towards it and in to it, and I am mentally closing it afterwards with a zipper.
But in the beginning it took some more time since it is good to be able to breathe and visualize all the chakras before closing them. But when that is mastered it is really easy and fast to close.

I would recommend to try it for a month as many times as possible every day. Before meeting people or being out in public in general.
For you people whom feel the energy going down when around other people (energy-thieves), this could really work.
I have heard some people say that chakras should not be closed and some people whom think they should.
All I can say is that it works for me and that I recommend doing so.

You have to understand why you want to spend more time alone, then you will have your answer.

Issac Asimov dealt with this question in several of his books. He wrote that as people became more and more dependent on technology and in his books the tech. that drove Humanity apart from each other was the use and creation of advanced Robots which could do and fulfill all the the work and ordinary day to day functions such as cooking, cleaning, shopping, and general upkeep of home and gardens.

As people found they did not need to assemble for social functions...viewing by screen or holographic images became the norm. This became so ingrained that people rarely made contact with each other.

Split Infinity

I feel like this is the first real thread that I want to really respond to.

I hope the OP, and others get a chance to read my message to understand that others can relate exactly to what has been said in this thread so far. Not to draw a line and cast people into two categories, as introvert and extrovert, non-social and social seem to do, with a long list of mental disorders or social construct stigmas attached.

Last March I decided that I wanted to look inside and connect with myself spiritually. All my life I've felt the need to be alone, but not always completely alone.

I have a small group of friends whom I see regularly, which for me is usually two to three times a week. Then there are the others whom I call my friend, who are willing to lend to an ear if I need it, and vice-versa I would believe. For me, my alone time has always felt very important to me and all my life I've had family, and even as of most recently, a therapist and psychiatrist trying to spin me in the other direction. I've been titled with agoraphobia, hermit, etc, though I don't feel anxious around other people. My head isn't a mess, it simply comes down to feeling stressed and overwhelmed by the needs of others, which let's face it, rub off on us if we can accept it or not.

I don't think that people should be total hermits, but I don't necessarily think that spurts of being a hermit is unhealthy if one is looking to connect with themselves on a higher level.

Working the 9-5 for a few years I came to realize that those environments, the opinions of others (in the hundreds each day), and everything else that comes with abiding by a schedule and the woes, happiness and forciful direction of others is something that causes us to think about our image: Be it what we think of ourselves, what we feel we should become because of others, not wholly enriched by our own goals, inner creativity and personal cravings, so much as what society and others dictate for us behind closed doors, even when we're not even noticing that it's going on.

I spend a few days alone, but in the presence of say some family/friends in small amounts.

I feel more at one with myself and I feel a sense of peace that just isn't there by involving myself too much in the world. I do believe that humans do have special bonds with one another, animals and others creatures through a system of reasoning, empathy and desire to feel wanted, to feel loved and cherished, as when we treat others this way. There is a system at work, an invisible one. Just like the one that involves all those thoughts of the 9-5 to paint a picture as an example. Being around people is necessary, and if everybody was a full-on hermit as the textbook definition puts one, then clearly less would be done.

Having periods of alone time is different. I know people that feel like they owe it to themselves and others to be around others every day, for several hours, with just the late evenings or nights, or a scattered few hours a day to be with themselves. I find people like this, typically titled extroverts, are usually not too fond of spending some days alone. Some hate it, some just cannot do it. Is this as a sense of weakness? Not in the sense of being clingy, but in the sense of not being able to spend more time within their mind, amongst the "self".

In the past year and a half I've done a lot of reading. I've meditated on occasional, played video games alone on other occasions. I've went for walks alone, have spent hours looking at the stars at night, really getting to my inner core of who I am, and what my purpose is. Those big lit-up questions that we see pondered in film, in novels and elsewhere. Films for example seem to relay the message that only the main character in a story, with jarring consequences, intense drama, special effects and a "hero mentality" as one further example, are the ones who must go down these roads, but deep down we all do. We're all the main character of our own stories and it's something simply called life: living, breathing, enduring, searching.

I've read so much, have pondered so much. To the point where it kept me up most nights, but now I generally sleep soundly feeling tuckered out from all that I've thought of and all of the non-resistance that I give my inner self, to the point where I'm slowly becoming more social and trying to find a pure balance between alone time and self, and living and being around others, living amongst people who mean something to me. Not because I feel like I owe it anybody else, or because I'm trying to dodge a label or stereotype, but because it's how I want to truly live.

We all have issues, and none of us want to be that guy or girl that is deliberately ignored or pestered with cultural anomalies, in other words: labels and more labels.

Life has gone to being something less than it should. Balance is everything.
 

"Basically, it's like this: Other people are emotionally taxing and make you feel vulnerable. They drain you, criticize you, judge you, make you feel pressure to act a certain way, give you a feeling of vulnerability, etc. They greatly complicate your life and compromise your peace of mind. Sure, other people may bring you happiness, joy, pleasure, companionship and fun, however, they also bring you pain, sorrow, worry, disappointment, attachment and rejection as well. So these "ups and downs" of being around others makes you feel like you aren't really in control, as if you are always at the mercy of others. You know what I mean?"

Spot on OP

For me it boils down to RESPECT, if a person doesn't have even an inkling of SELF respect then they are in a lot of cases not going to respect you and your's.

I find a lot of people now-a-days are very Pompous, incapable of reasoning.

Try to find like minded people, those who just want to be themselves. They are original, a breath of fresh air for the soul. Although they are far and few between, they are worth the journey, and they are out there.

All the best and God bless

"Basically, it's like this: Other people are emotionally taxing and make you feel vulnerable. They drain you, criticize you, judge you, make you feel pressure to act a certain way, give you a feeling of vulnerability, etc. They greatly complicate your life and compromise your peace of mind. Sure, other people may bring you happiness, joy, pleasure, companionship and fun, however, they also bring you pain, sorrow, worry, disappointment, attachment and rejection as well. So these "ups and downs" of being around others makes you feel like you aren't really in control, as if you are always at the mercy of others. You know what I mean?"

Spot on OP

For me it boils down to RESPECT, if a person doesn't have even an inkling of SELF respect then they are in a lot of cases not going to respect you and your's.

I find a lot of people now-a-days are very Pompous, incapable of reasoning.

Try to find like minded people, those who just want to be themselves. They are original, a breath of fresh air for the soul. Although they are far and few between, they are worth the journey, and they are out there.

All the best and God bless

discovering yourself is the greatest journey you can travel on, there is no-one who can tell you how to do this, or in a way that you can discover yourself.

I know that isnt an answer, but it also demonstrates how different we all are as individuals.
Thats my psychological answer,

Biologically, as a species we have only survived in numbers, we are very much a social species.

If you can find yourself "spritually" or whatever "tag" that is similar to that, then you will be a happier person in general.

Richy

I think we all are experiencing changes at this time. Take this quote from the Buddah: "It is not an ordinary man's choice to seek solitude. But this is the sign of a emerging bodhisattva (enlightened one)."

Originally posted by Idonthaveabeard

Interesting thing you say about walking round a mall.

I feel the same when I do it, I feel like im in a different world, affected by different things to everyone else. Im not worried and panicing that its going to rain, im not looking at/buying the same clothes that 'everyone else' is wearing. I just really struggle sometimes to relate to other people that I see around me, like I think about completely different things. Maybe its all just me lol I dont know, its quite weird though.

It's only weird because "they" think it's weird.

It's not weird to you, because it's who you are.

You feel like you're in a different world because you are actually living in the real world, not this fantastical world of glamour and glitz and stuff and superficiality. That's where "they" are, they don't actually think about anything else, because it makes them uncomfortable to do so.

I have an extremely hard time relating to most other people, females in particular, because I don't actually have anything in common with them. I don't like to gossip, I don't like to shop, I don't care about "cute" stuff, I don't watch the popular shows about philandering people, I don't waste my life looking into mirrors or living on my phone. I just don't care about that stuff, it's completely unimportant.

So, you're not weird.

You're You.

Well, a few thoughts....

Could it be said that our nature, personality, thoughts, feelings and existence are actually defined by the existence of others? Let me explain: imagine a world where no one else exists except you. How would you begin to define yourself? How would you define what is right or wrong, good or bad, truth or fiction, ugly or beautiful? Perhaps you might say that you would look upon a flower and think "that is beautiful" (or an approximation) thus defining the parameters yourself, however, if there is no one else to validate this, no one else to share this with and no one else to understand the meaning of this then it becomes an irrelevant definition, you might just as easily conclude that a slug is beautiful, or a rotting sheep carcas.... All things can only be experienced or observed once we have a point of reference... You couldn't have 'goodness' without 'badness' (or vice-versa) because, without another human being behaving 'badly' you would not be able to contrast your (or others) behaviour and conclude that what you are doing is 'good'. You would have nothing to measure it against, thus rendering the concept irrelevant (another example is the idea that, two separate people on two boats, one of which is moving, on a completely flat surface, with no other point of referrence i.e. land, wake, etc, would not be able to tell which one of them is moving. A point of reference is required. Even time becomes meaningless without a point of reference) . If we apply this to all aspects of what it is to be 'human' and we inevitably reach the same conclusion: that without a point of reference, a 'guide' to measure against, then any abstract concept becomes redundant, then we can conclude that the very concept of being human becomes redundant. And where does that leave us?
In relation to your inclination to isolate yourself; I could say a lot about the psychology of it etc if I were to comment from a professional standpoint, but, I think this is more a question of philosophy as opposed to science. With that in mind I would say this: I believe that the way to true contentment is not to try and fill your whole life with only amazing things and try to eliminate all the bad things, this is impossible and can only lead to unhappiness, frustration or malcontent. I believe that we should seek to strike a balance in all things. If we eat too much of out favourite food we become fat, if we deny ourselves things we like we become unhappy, if we exercise to little we become unhealthy, if we over-exercise we become weak in other areas, or vain or exhausted. If we spend all our time around others we become emotionally drained, fatigued, angry at the percieved failings and faults of others, frustrated at the dissonance and seemingly 'unfair' nature of society. However, if we isolate ourselves completely then we become depressed, lonely, miserable and, in many cases of prolonged isolation, mentally unwell. There is a balance to be struck and this can only be achieved by listening to yourself. If you feel like you need to get away from people then do so, just don't burn your bridges and cut people off (that is the true meaning of isolation) because there will come a time that you will feel ready, or more inclined, to be around others. Our relationships are very important and they help to define who we are, cherish them and value them, just remember to listen to yourself too. Strive for balance in all things and I think that you'll find a path that's right for you.... This is just my opinion, I'm not religious or anything or even remotely spiritual, I just arrived at this through observation of myself âñd of others (many of whom are very unhappy, particularly those I have come into contact with through my work)

double post ...

Spending time alone doesn't bother me, I enjoy my own company & I am never lonely, I do however enjoy the company of those I can share similar ideas & beliefs with. There is a balance in life (my view) of which one reaches & with God, that there is a peace that nothing outside of self (with GOD) can disturb & I mean nothing.

It's not about pleasing others.. but finding the connection with others (that makes sense to each person), working to acheive greater understanding (of self, the world, God, etc).

I feel like there is this story that I'm part of.. when & or if I become uncomfortable with a situation or person/s then I contemplate what it is about all of this that doesn't make sense. Even someone I may Love talking with, if they don't fit into my story (as I percieve it), I have to evaluate & make sense of things. If they are offended or if it causes me some discomfort (more alone time ie) it is temporary as to effect. The bigger picture (eternal life) is what matters. Sort of like sifting through the sand & finding the pearls, the gems, GOD, keeping the connection with HIM forefront. The rest works itself out (cause HE IS IN CHARGE).
See like a battery the + & the -
Jesus is the +
& with a battery, like life there is always a positive & negative charge.
It's being plugged into HIS WILL, the energy.
Alone doesn't mean lonely,
there is isolated/isolating, which is different than alone, but time to self (with GOD) is healthy.
The bible says, "it is not good for man to be alone." So working toward a goal of being, "alone," in my view isn't one to look to, but the balance of, that which is HIS WILL, each one's Story acheived. & expecting that another will recognize this beauty of the soul within, living, loving, always.
Oh & my theory of the battery + & -
is that Jesus is the + & one goes to a place in their heart, like an 8, that center point, the - heart center, a flat line (death of self) then filling up with HIM, GOD, THE ONE, that positive charge. There, there is no more fear or heartache, noone can bring harm upon us when He Is our Savior. Jesus dies on the + for us, that we live forever proclaiming (His Love & Light!). Therefore the charge is not alone but engaged in God's Business. Electrifying indeed! toward The Light.

Interesting subject, as I get older it seems like the world has become a lot more complicated and there are a lot of things that are really bothersome. I also find solice in being alone. To me there are too many really important questions that remain unanswered, such as where did we come from, are we alone, how much is the governemnts of the world really hiding from us. The list goes on and on but yet the everyday world seems fixated on problems that are really meaningless. Hopefully some day all of these questions will be answered and thre real truth will become clear.

reply to post by WWu777


24 Hour time-out no toys