I feel like this is the first real thread that I want to really respond to.
I hope the OP, and others get a chance to read my message to understand that others can relate exactly to what has been said in this thread so far.
Not to draw a line and cast people into two categories, as introvert and extrovert, non-social and social seem to do, with a long list of mental
disorders or social construct stigmas attached.
Last March I decided that I wanted to look inside and connect with myself spiritually. All my life I've felt the need to be alone, but not always
I have a small group of friends whom I see regularly, which for me is usually two to three times a week. Then there are the others whom I call my
friend, who are willing to lend to an ear if I need it, and vice-versa I would believe. For me, my alone time has always felt very important to me and
all my life I've had family, and even as of most recently, a therapist and psychiatrist trying to spin me in the other direction. I've been titled
with agoraphobia, hermit, etc, though I don't feel anxious around other people. My head isn't a mess, it simply comes down to feeling stressed and
overwhelmed by the needs of others, which let's face it, rub off on us if we can accept it or not.
I don't think that people should be total hermits, but I don't necessarily think that spurts of being a hermit is unhealthy if one is looking to
connect with themselves on a higher level.
Working the 9-5 for a few years I came to realize that those environments, the opinions of others (in the hundreds each day), and everything else that
comes with abiding by a schedule and the woes, happiness and forciful direction of others is something that causes us to think about our image
Be it what we think of ourselves, what we feel we should become because of others, not wholly enriched by our own goals, inner creativity and personal
cravings, so much as what society and others dictate for us behind closed doors, even when we're not even noticing that it's going on.
I spend a few days alone, but in the presence of say some family/friends in small amounts.
I feel more at one with myself and I feel a sense of peace that just isn't there by involving myself too much in the world. I do believe that humans
do have special bonds with one another, animals and others creatures through a system of reasoning, empathy and desire to feel wanted, to feel loved
and cherished, as when we treat others this way. There is a system at work, an invisible one. Just like the one that involves all those thoughts of
the 9-5 to paint a picture as an example. Being around people is necessary, and if everybody was a full-on hermit as the textbook definition puts one,
then clearly less would be done.
Having periods of alone time is different. I know people that feel like they owe it to themselves and others to be around others every day, for
several hours, with just the late evenings or nights, or a scattered few hours a day to be with themselves. I find people like this, typically titled
extroverts, are usually not too fond of spending some days alone. Some hate it, some just cannot do it. Is this as a sense of weakness? Not in the
sense of being clingy, but in the sense of not being able to spend more time within their mind, amongst the "self".
In the past year and a half I've done a lot of reading. I've meditated on occasional, played video games alone on other occasions. I've went for walks
alone, have spent hours looking at the stars at night, really getting to my inner core of who I am, and what my purpose is. Those big lit-up questions
that we see pondered in film, in novels and elsewhere. Films for example seem to relay the message that only the main character in a story, with
jarring consequences, intense drama, special effects and a "hero mentality" as one further example, are the ones who must go down these roads, but
deep down we all do. We're all the main character of our own stories and it's something simply called life: living, breathing, enduring, searching.
I've read so much, have pondered so much. To the point where it kept me up most nights, but now I generally sleep soundly feeling tuckered out from
all that I've thought of and all of the non-resistance that I give my inner self, to the point where I'm slowly becoming more social and trying to
find a pure balance between alone time and self, and living and being around others, living amongst people who mean something to me. Not because I
feel like I owe it anybody else, or because I'm trying to dodge a label or stereotype, but because it's how I want to truly live.
We all have issues, and none of us want to be that guy or girl that is deliberately ignored or pestered with cultural anomalies, in other words:
labels and more labels.
Life has gone to being something less than it should. Balance is everything.
edit on 17/7/12 by murkraz because: (no reason given)