Is being alone the only way to true peace? Deep questions

In the end, during this process of solidarity, ask yourself "what have I accomplished?". What have been the benefits?
I asked the same and often, I feel as you do. There is peace with one side and conflict on the other. That is how i see it. That's how it has happened for me.
But we all know that with conflict, fruiting results can emerge as well.
Keep challenging your resolve, never stop asking questions, as the world changes, so do we.
Yes you can be missing out as others have pointed out on this thread, there may be someone just like you out there wondering the same thing. They may think like you.
How else will you find each other?

I am not a religious person, however, I can't help but think about a scripture that I was taught many many years ago.

Proverbs 18:1 "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment."

reply to post by WWu777


Feeling you totally! Yes I feel like that exactly these days (nearly all of the time). I spend all my time nearly by myself. I find others really draining and too demanding.

I sometimes reflect on this and think well that is a sad life and state of affairs, but then I realise that it is just the way things are going. I like my own company a lot. I find me to be really good fun, haha!

If you lose your peace from being around people then you never really had true peace. True peace is with in. The popular point of view, of peace can never never be. Such as no war or violence. Their has not been one point in recorded history where humans wear not at war. You cant have peace with out chaos. Nor can you have chaos with out peace.

Since no one has brought it up, why do you think "they" keep us all inundated with finding a partner and being made to feel "lesser than" if you're not on the hunt for one - M & F alike.

Divorce was turned into a huge make-rich scheme - anyone who has paid a divorce lawyer bill I think would attest to that... with what is it-- a 60% divorce rate now? I don't know, but it seems to be a booming business along with the rest of the wedding/divorce festivities/litigation.

Why wouldn't business and gov't want us engrossed in togetherness, and ads be painted full of sunshine when you're with that special one?

I've seen discounts for families (family rate) and children's rates, but I've never seen a "single person who's paying full shot for everything" rates.
Not to stray off-topic, but single life is not generally promoted or advertised as being a swell life...

Did you ever consider another reason we may be made to feel like we are possibly feeling at odds if we feel and do better being alone? Relationships can be/are a huge distraction.

One day while channel surfing I caught Liz Taylor in a scene from Cleopatra where she said "When you fall in love you lose (site of? ed.) who you really are".

The irony of Liz saying it is noted; she was a good actress.

Scads of valuable time and energy spent on a significant other, no matter for how long they are one. From what I have seen and lived, I know I get a lot more accomplished physically, spiritually and mentally when I'm alone. More at peace.
Different for everyone. Just thoughts.

Originally posted by WWu777

I have a question. Even though I consciously like people and like to socialize, I find myself more and more preferring to spend time alone.

I'm glad I'm not the only one!!! It's nice to socialize but nothing beats having me-time.

Great responses all. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

It is true what someone above said, about me being an empath. This is why I can read others so well.

One question for you all:

When you go out to a restaurant or public place alone, and you see everyone else there in groups with other people, does that make you feel like a loser? Do you worry that others are wondering why you're alone there while everyone else is with others?

I completely understand. Emotional vampires is the best way to describe the people and friends i encounter.

empathsolutions.com...

After separating from these type of people my life has been way better. It was as if they were litteraly sucking the life out of me. But i now kno there are many out there that feel the same as i do.

Originally posted by WWu777
When you go out to a restaurant or public place alone, and you see everyone else there in groups with other people, does that make you feel like a loser? Do you worry that others are wondering why you're alone there while everyone else is with others?

Nope. I don't worry about what other people are thinking, because anything you come up with is just imaginary. You feel like they are judging you when they look at you, so you imagine they must be thinking negative things.

There's no reason to.

If you're out alone, you are out doing something. That's the key thing - you are doing something. Who cares whether or not you have company?

reply to post by WWu777


Everyone at some time needs time alone. Its OK to be that way. You must be looking for some spiritual peace or awakening. I found mine on a mountain top. To each his own. I hope you find yours.

I agree 100%.
I'm statistically more intelligent than about 98 or 99% of the rest of the human population, so I don't really get any intellectual stimulation from socializing with others. For example, while someone might ponder a question such as "If God is real, why does he let bad things happen?", I have already seen far beyond the simplicity of this and considered various aspects beyond their realm of comprehension. This can pretty much apply to most thoughts and beliefs that most people have. I've even tried having a religious conversation with an actual minister recently, and he was completely unable to address my questions without reverting to simple unrelated responses such as "God is working in your life right now. Time is coming to an end and we need to believe in Jesus." When you also take into account the fact that I have no interest in the things most people do, like television or sports, you can see why there really isn't any point in socializing.

Sure, I can go out and spend time with people, but it accomplishes nothing because it's generally empty interaction. It feels like I'm at a zoo watching the monkeys swing around and throw **** at each other.
Another thing about socializing is that while it is beneficial to most (normal) people, it is simply a distraction to those like us. I find that like music or television shows, if you indulge in one thing too much, it may start to create subtle changes to your personality. For example, I rarely listen to rap music; however, if I began socializing with a group of people who routinely did, I would likely end up listening to it more and more. Is this true self, or is it only a distraction?
When I am alone, I feel like I am of my true self; my interests and beliefs are mine. They are uncorrupted and unpolluted by lesser minds.

Due to my long-term minimal social interaction, I no longer have any fear of criticism or judgment, and my self-confidence is as high as it should appropriately be. When I go into a public place and am amongst people, I feel like I'm a wolf amongst sheep, some kind of superior predator who is above the morals of human society. I don't live my life with the goal of fitting in, I live my life with the goal of simply being myself. The reason most people have a desire to socialize is because it is part of basic human psychology to fit into some kind of group; if you are part of a group, then you are obviously doing something right with your life. Successful socializing is a validation that you are "good enough". I don't need other people to feel good about myself, because I know and respect myself.
Just to note: I have no inability to interact with others, and I can do so very effectively when I choose to.

It's been a fantasy of mine for a long time to live somewhere in the wilderness away from civilization.

Originally posted by trollz
It's been a fantasy of mine for a long time to live somewhere in the wilderness away from civilizationon

I feel the same way. I lay awake at night thinking about it some times. I feel I was born a thousand years too late or a thousand years too soon.

This is kind of hard to explain, but do you know what I mean? Is there something wrong with me? Why do I feel this way?

reply to post by WWu777


1. Yes
2. No. Not at all.
3. You already answered that in your own thread.

You are not the only one to have these feelings and thoughts.

dont know who the quote is from but......."With some people solitariness is an escape not from others but from themselves. For they see in the eyes of others only a reflection of themselves"

the outter life is a reflection of the inner life ect ect ect ect ect.......ok..my cat keeps staring at me..

I have recently discovered my introverted side and I am getting used it.

My whole life I have been the classic extrovert. It just wasn't a party until I arrived and when I did things got cranked up. I was often compared to Robin Williams as I would jump from topic to topic, joke to joke, with no apparent rhyme or reason. I have always been an insomniac and I saw this as just another dimension to my extroverted personality.

I just finished 11 years in retail/food service entertaining hundreds of customers every day. My morning rush I would have 400 customers and I knew their names, kids, jobs, hobbies, etc. It was almost like a reception line every day at work where I greeted friends who would stop by for their morning jolt.

Sure, I got up at 3:00 for work and put in a 10, 12 hour day consuming coffee hand over fist and go, go, go! I have always made sure I had some time alone meditating, martial arts, study but most of my time was spent on my feet interacting with people. Being extroverted was so easy for me I embraced it, I would rather be on the stage than in the audience. When I got home at the end of the day I would crash hard! This is very taxing and as much as I loved it I would be worthless in the evening.

I quit my job 5 months ago and I have spent most of my time at home, alone and I love it. I don't feel any need to go out to bars, coffee shops, concerts, whatever, I love being alone.

The contacts in my phone are barely over single digits. My social media includes family members and people I am physically friends with and that is less than 10. I don't talk much online, I just like to peek in and see what my kids are up to lately.

For the fist time in my life I am now embracing my introverted side and I love it. If I could find a real work at home opportunity I would be willing to spend the majority of my time here in my nice, neat, comfortable, quiet apartment.

reply to post by WWu777



I pretty much agree with you OP. I don't really care to hang out with anyone I don't feel like I can learn something from anymore. If someone can'tbe real with me also, or come off like they think they're better than me or have something to prove, I have no time for them. Because of this, I do end up spending time alone. Lone wolf here... I don't wish to lead or follow. I have no agenda and would never submit to someone elses, and I don't let it bother me anymore.

I am really glad that you posted this OP. I have always had friends but I have always also liked to spend time alone. I feel that I dont need to be around people in order to be happy, I enjoy spending time alone. I don't know if this has happened to anyone else but I know within in the last year and a half - two years I've really been spending more time alone. I just feel that people are just bothering my a lot more lately. I rather just stay home and read/relax than go out and deal with people. I think I'm just losing my patience with trying to worry about other people. Idk its hard to explain but i'm glad that i am not the only one that feels this way.

I kind of agree with it, I spend alot of time (outside of work) alone mostly through choice but not always. I think part of it has to do with my job which involves interacting alot with other people. I cant be bothered with it so I gladly take time away from other people as much as I can. I think I am a little bit awkward socially aswell or at least I feel it sometimes. I can struggle to start or continue conversation I never know what to talk about, but other times I feel completely comfortable and enjoy mixing with people and having conversation.

I think that depends on the people Im with, if I know them and feel comfortable around them then I come out of myself. But in a crowd or a group of people I dont know I will keep myself to myself.

Also there are certain things I like to do on my own anyway, going shopping is one. I can go in any shop I want and take aslong as I want in there, its probably seen as selfish but I prefer not to to have to worry about what someone im with wants to do so I can just relax and do my own thing.

Also regarding alot of conversation people have im just not really interested in, what girl they want to 'explore', stuff happening at work, what money they get or whatever, I just find it boring. Dont get me wrong, im ambitious myself and plan do be well off financially, but not by doing some mundane cr@p. Some of the things I hear people talking about about their work and home life etc so n so said this and I didnt know what to cook for tea etc etc. Just inane drivel that means nothing.

I do go out on nights out, but not very regularly. It doesnt bother me wether I go or not, atm im prefering not to go. I dont feel like I miss out when I do go either, its always the same nothing really special, something else I dont really understand the hype about. Having said that though I usually enjoy it when I go out, most of that is probably down to the booze though lol.


I think whats happened to me though is im currently trying to find myself and make something of myself, having to do anything else I am seeing as a distraction and something thats holding me back. I dont know if its the right way to go about it, but I feel that I need to be alone to achieve the type of things I want to achieve. Maybe im feeling down that im not where I want to be in life and that has something to do with it. But its not ike I feel unhappy about being on my own. 95% of the time im on my own im content with it. When im not feeling content with it im usually feeling anxious that theres something I need to be doing instead of just sitting around. Im just not really sure what it is yet lol. That is probably the biggest down in my life atm that I feel like Im wasting days. But I dont know what to do in order to not waste the day, so a bit of a vicious circle.

deep rant over, haha

Wow! You just described my predicament almost exactly.

Always feel taxed when I have to be around people. Find general conversation almost excruciatingly boring. Would rather eat my car keys than go to town, or to a mall.

I've always blamed it on things like: peoples vibrations being taxing, feeling insecure, not liking people?, being an introvert etc.

Lately I'm thinking it may actually be something wrong with me, because when I feel really good and confident (usually after deep meditation) I actually enjoy being around people, or at least can tolerate it easily. Whenever I've felt like this I can walk through a mall and it feels as if I'm in the matrix but not being effected by it. Kind of my own portable bubble of peace. Very good feeling and very powerful feeling in a way.

I know all of us are different, but I don't think we should be effected by people so much. My ego would like to think this is a spiritual sensitivity thing and a good thing, but I'm having my doubts and think I should be able to rise above this type of sensitivity.

Having said that, nine times out of ten I still find crowds, and people in general, difficult to deal with internally.

Originally posted by Andromedabound
Wow! You just described my predicament almost exactly.

Always feel taxed when I have to be around people. Find general conversation almost excruciatingly boring. Would rather eat my car keys than go to town, or to a mall.

I've always blamed it on things like: peoples vibrations being taxing, feeling insecure, not liking people?, being an introvert etc.

Lately I'm thinking it may actually be something wrong with me, because when I feel really good and confident (usually after deep meditation) I actually enjoy being around people, or at least can tolerate it easily. Whenever I've felt like this I can walk through a mall and it feels as if I'm in the matrix but not being effected by it. Kind of my own portable bubble of peace. Very good feeling and very powerful feeling in a way.

I know all of us are different, but I don't think we should be effected by people so much. My ego would like to think this is a spiritual sensitivity thing and a good thing, but I'm having my doubts and think I should be able to rise above this type of sensitivity.

Having said that, nine times out of ten I still find crowds, and people in general, difficult to deal with internally.

Interesting thing you say about walking round a mall.

I feel the same when I do it, I feel like im in a different world, affected by different things to everyone else. Im not worried and panicing that its going to rain, im not looking at/buying the same clothes that 'everyone else' is wearing. I just really struggle sometimes to relate to other people that I see around me, like I think about completely different things. Maybe its all just me lol I dont know, its quite weird though.

reply to post by texasgirl


I agree completely and also people are a disappointment in general. I think having high standards and finding happiness and comfort in your life and animals clearly states that.

To the OP:
I know I have had quite a few friends, been through lots of women and the conclusions I draw are people are a constant disappointment. You can only rely on yourself ever. I in 15 years in living in this city have made one friend due to this. High morales, standards, intelligent, physically fit, good looking, gregarious, successful and driven. Most people I have met just are not deep thinkers or more concerned with television, what to eat, cell phone, money and basically every other materialistic thing out there. The important thing I guess I am trying to convey to you is don't follow the mass of zombies you would be quite dishonest is doing so to yourself only to just "fit in"