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Originally posted by Toromos
reply to post by WWu777
I've been reading a book you might enjoy and get a lot from:
Quiet : the Power of Introverts in a World That Won't Stop Talking
I'm about half way through it and I keep exclaiming, "that's me!"
Why is it that an average person and typical conformist usually will feel empty without others or some group to conform to, whereas people like me feel emotionally taxed and compromised around others, as if our peace is disturbed?
Is there something wrong with me? Why do I feel this way?
The more deep you become, it seems, the more you realize something: When you are alone, there is this GREAT PEACE and TRANQUILITY you can NEVER have while you are around others, including a significant other, and especially around those who are different than you. You also feel more in control of things without others to interfere or complicate things or compromise yourself.
Could this be why some misfits, nonconformists and freethinkers become hermits? And artists and composers too?
Could this explain why the genius chess champion Bobby Fischer, became a hermit after winning the world chess championship in 1972?
Is there anyone out there who can relate to how I feel? If so, how do you balance your need to be alone vs. your social needs for others? Do you choose one or the other? How can you have both when they seem mutually exclusive?
I would surmise that I am more likely to feel this way when I am in a culture or environment I'm not compatible with, rather than one that I feel more compatible with. I would guess that around like minded people, I would feel like being a hermit. This makes sense, since after all, people who are different than you or on a different wavelength, are not going to make you feel validated, but quite the opposite. What do you think?
Originally posted by WWu777
Basically, it's like this: Other people are emotionally taxing and make you feel vulnerable. They drain you, criticize you, judge you, make you feel pressure to act a certain way, give you a feeling of vulnerability, etc. They greatly complicate your life and compromise your peace of mind. Sure, other people may bring you happiness, joy, pleasure, companionship and fun, however, they also bring you pain, sorrow, worry, disappointment, attachment and rejection as well. So these "ups and downs" of being around others makes you feel like you aren't really in control, as if you are always at the mercy of others. You know what I mean?
Why do I feel this way?