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Hello, I Like Jokes

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posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:46 PM
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Good day ATS. I have been a member for a while but haven't done much but lurk. My first couple posts were over the weekend and I feel that I need to contribute more often so I thought I would introduce myself.

My favourite topics are the Paranormal and UFO subjects but I'm also interested in many political issues as I try to stay active in my community and get involved in the things that affect me and my loved ones.

That being said, I have a great sense of humour and I love to joke around so I hope my wannabe comedy routine doesn't tick too many people off. Sometimes I need to learn how to better choose my audience so my apologies in advance if I offend anyone because that is not my intention.

So I will introduce myself with a harmless cheesy joke...

Why did the motorcycle stop moving?

Because it was two-tired!



I know it wasn't that funny but it's my way to break the ice.




posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:47 PM
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What says "Oh Oh Oh"?

Santa Claus moving backwards!



Sorry guys, I need to come up with 20 posts so I'm going to spam my introduction thread with cheesy jokes, maybe I can even come up with a good one...?



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:48 PM
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How do lions like their steaks?

They like them Roar!



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:49 PM
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What kind of computer sings?

A Dell!




posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:50 PM
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Did you hear about the new "Divorced Barbie Doll"?

It comes with all of Ken's stuff!



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:51 PM
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho Cheese!



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:52 PM
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What do your boss and a Slinky have in common?

They are both fun to watch tumble down the stairs!



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:53 PM
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Why wasn't Jesus born in the United States?

They couldn't find a virgin or 3 wise men!




posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:54 PM
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What do mermaids wear?

Algebras!



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:54 PM
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What do you call 6 ducks in a box?

A box of quackers!



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:54 PM
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Courtesy of Monty Python, "What's brown and sounds like a bell?" "DUNG."



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:55 PM
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Why was the Kleenex dancing?

Because it had a little boogie in it!



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 02:57 PM
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why did the skeleton go to the party alone?

He had noBODY to go with!!




posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 03:00 PM
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Why did the cowboy get a weiner dog?

He wanted to get a long little doggy!



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 03:01 PM
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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar with a duck under their arm. The bartender says "What is this? A joke?"



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 03:03 PM
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Originally posted by intrepid
Courtesy of Monty Python, "What's brown and sounds like a bell?" "DUNG."


Ha!

Thanks for sharing



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 03:03 PM
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reply to post by JosephKnecht
 

Good job, I had not heard most of those, but got a few good chuckles.

Welome aboard JK



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 03:03 PM
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Originally posted by Bpm1986
why did the skeleton go to the party alone?

He had noBODY to go with!!





Poor fella, I wonder if he made any friends?



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 03:04 PM
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Originally posted by berbishchanish
Why did the cowboy get a weiner dog?

He wanted to get a long little doggy!




Good one!



posted on Jul, 15 2012 @ 03:05 PM
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Originally posted by berbishchanish
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar with a duck under their arm. The bartender says "What is this? A joke?"




I wonder what duck responded with...?



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