reply to post by LightAssassin
See, this is why it's so hard. I get some posters saying they're trying to help me..and still I get others saying they're feeding off of my fear.
My experiences are so ambiguous that either could be correct with the right spin.
They didn't really seem to "feed" off of me or hurt me in any way. Fear is my own responsibility to control. We often fear what we don't
understand--especially if it looks different from us. Heck, we don't need spirits, demons, or ETs for that. Just look at how some people react to
things like hijabs, skin color, or gay pride symbols. It's just irrational fear.
Since I only caught glimpses of them, I would say the fact that I saw them was not intentional on their part. The Hooded Entity even seemed surprised
that I did see it to begin with. So, how could they be intentionally provoking fear while trying to be discreet and covert at the same time? The only
reason I was afraid is because of the few glimpses I caught. I felt like some weird stuff was going down and there wasn't anything I could do to stop
it. That's a scary feeling--they could have just kept exploiting that, right? They didn't seem to. I have thought about what you said about my no
longer being a viable "food" source for them. Maybe they just got all they could out of me..or perhaps my cancer meant I spoiled early or something.
Haha, who knows? Not I!
Instead, they seemed to play a joke on me with that Boxy Man where I wouldn't be afraid. And then it seemed like they even stopped altogether or have
taken much greater care to make sure I am not aware of them at all.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate yours and everybody elses' input. I just wish it were easier to know who my friends and foes are/were. I did mention
that some of the voices I have communicated with during sleep paralysis (after the Gray Man and Hooded Entity sightings) seem to be wanting to help
me, but are unwilling to let me see them. One feminine voice even said "I'm not allowed" when I requested to see her. She seemed to be floating above
me hidden by an overwhelmingly bright, golden light. By the way, she said she was there to heal a small injury I had received earlier that day. Many
such voices have been audible to me during sleep paralysis. To give another example, the muscles in my neck and shoulders are EXTREMELY tense and
always sore. This is due to my muscular autoimmune disease..it is especially tough on big muscle groups like the the trapezius (neck/shoulder.) I once
heard two entities chatting it up out of view. They seemed to do something to heal this area (not permanently, of course, but a temporary relief that
lasted for several days..a welcome respite.) I could feel the "energy" surging through my muscles like a great, soothing massage. One of them said to
the other something like "Wow, he's needed this for a really long time." They seemed to ignore me completely as they talked..as if I couldn't even
I have since learned to recreate this surging "energy" feeling through deep relaxation and willful intent (and a little trial and error) to heal areas
where I am in pain. It works when I do it properly, but it has been hit and miss a few times. Sometimes I give up and just opt to fall asleep instead
of initiating it. (I'm sure there's at least one person who knows what I'm talking about--that one person should back me up on this stuff so I don't
freak everyone out!)
I'm sure there are plenty of examples of the good, the bad, and the ugly out there. It's a big universe or dimensional multi-verse or whatever it is
exactly we're dealing with
So, here we have one seemingly good entity (the feminine one) not allowed to show me her image but wants to help. And then we have these stealthy
types who don't even announce themselves but just stand in doorways and corners but aren't shy about their fearful appearance. This just makes no
sense (the rules they follow, I mean..okay this whole thread too! :lol
Even worse, I don't know how I even feel about it. My irrational fear has clouded my objectivity towards them. I mean, I'm afraid of spiders and think
they look ugly-- but they're mostly not out to get me..mostly.
About the sketch and "Fire in the Sky". Bear in mind that my sketch of the "Gray Man" is horrible and doesn't quite look like what I was going for. I
wouldn't say my vision looked 'exactly' like the ones in the film. There are some differences and some similarities; it wasn't a resemblance I was
going for though. I did not use the images from the film as a reference point to make the drawing. On that same note--that movie scared the shinto out
edit on 20-7-2012 by NarcolepticBuddha because: (no reason given)