Shadows of the Past (True story)
When I was a kid, I had an active imagination, I would see vivid images of beings, creatures and places that were beyond my comprehension, but at
the time this was normal for me; it is what brought me into gaming, and how I learned to develop strategies to beat the game. I was also very
observant as a kid, and watched people’s actions carefully, as I compared it to my own. I was not like the others, as I would come to know what
pains them in their everyday lives. Therefore, I would try to develop strategies to possible solutions as I tried to understand the world around
At first, getting the hang of any strategy is very difficult. It is like moving chess pieces to the point of checkmate. Life itself is a game of
chess, when you watch people’s actions and reactions upon one another, you cannot help but stare on in curiosity, as they both try to win over the
other for the extra boost of ego.
Sometimes I’d get caught up watching people from afar, at times I’d get called weirdo, especially when I didn’t reply back. This eventually
led me into a life with bullies on my case. I’d get held up in bathrooms, punched in the gut, left on the floor clutching in pain, but the pain that
hurt the most, wasn’t the punch itself, it was the fact that it even occurred was what hurt the most.
At night, I would cry myself to sleep, knowing that the next day was going to be the same, and it was, but I rarely reacted, sometimes, I would not
even say a word. I knew something was wrong with them, but the more I tried to understand why, the more the answers eluded me, but I too am human, and
my limitations would be reached; like a volcano ready to erupt and unleash its rage upon them in blinded anger and force. I would over power the
bullies with this adrenalin rush, but I also knew that I had gone and stepped over my own morals. This is why I tried and avoid conflict, but
conflict always seemed to find me. This was back in both Jr. High school and kept going until I was in 10th grade.
Things changed when I was 17, after a few events that ended in heartache and rejection, I was told by a medium that a woman would come into my life
that would change the way I think forever, and that she and I would end up having a powerful bond, but she would be from far away. I would later
dream of that woman that night, blonde-red-ish hair with mesmerizing green eyes.
At the time, I blew it off as rubbish, but she kept appearing in visions, over and over, until I decided to draw her, and try and get a better
vision of this mysterious woman in my dreams. I ultimately ended up using that dream and turned her into a character in my novel.
After many years of futile attempts to find her, I kept getting beaten up by the monstrosities this system had created. My path led me to the point
that, I had practically given up on humanity. I began seeing humanity as the ultimate plague, and that the only cure to save the planet would be to
extinction of the human race. The injustice, the murders, the mistreatment's, the judgment’s, the fears, everything that caused suffering and
despair I began to despise. I lost my moral, I laughed instead of crying whenever I saw what I hated, manifest before me.
I lost care of the world, and even worse, I lost care of myself. I learned many strategies that were filled with mind games thanks to those who did
it to me. I would later use what I learned, to exploit their weakness and grant them a hard lesson. I became unmerciful when it came to the feelings
of others, but it seemed being heartless was the best way to get the message across, I would then have the guilt within me after I taught them the
lesson, a part of me would die, the more I did it. The success rates of those lessons were at 100% and I knew I had a strategy that worked.
Those who have come to learn lessons from me eventually came back into my life to thank me, but every time they did, I still kept losing hope
because the thought kept coming back that “they just couldn’t learn it for themselves”. Therefore, my life had become a sacrificial game, where
I would sacrifice myself for the greater good. However, eventually, I grew tired and went off into isolation; away from the psychic vampire, and away
from the judgments of others.
Once we master a technique, we move forward unto others. The cycle of transcendence keeps occurring repeatedly, but sadly, this story does not have
a successful conclusion, for it is a tale of two friends, equal in every way going at war with each other based on assumptions and fears. Only one of
them tries to help the other grow beyond their fears while others comfort them. Everything in life happens for a reason, every experience is a chance
to grow, and this is what I have come to learn since I began my spiritual awakening. I thought I knew what I was doing, but I ended up failing,
especially with the one person I have come to admire most.
Then I began seeing answers to long asked questions. I began seeing the world for what it truly was; I began to see how we are all embedded into a
system that seeks to control. I felt surrounded, cornered, and alone. “I don’t belong here” came to my thoughts more evidently than ever. I had
rejected the very society that had rejected me and I wanted a way out, I wanted to wake up from this nightmare.
The temptation of suicide would enter my mind; “I had nothing to live for”; or so I thought.
But then it happened, I met her , a girl who I once thought was a fantasy, had finally been found, but to my surprise, she came packed, I listened
carefully to her words, and they were as if I was speaking them, everything became magical at that point. I found many answers that allowed me to heal
old pasts and find out their meanings. She taught me many lessons that I carefully applied in my life. This allowed me to close unclosed chapters as
I moved around bravely exploring painful memories. All was going good, until she displayed her fear for the first time.
After a few friends add in a social network, all hell broke loose. She questioned my motives, which were simple; they were people who had information
I needed for my spiritual advancement, she became territorial over that, and began accusing me of stalking. I frowned at this the first time, I
didn’t want to lose her friendship so after the first argument I began to develop a fear, a fear that would leave me paranoid for a while. The fear
that after I found this girl I would end up losing her, but it also brought me the awareness of her own fears.
After accepting I had lost her friendship the first time during a conversation with a mutual friend, she appeared again, and she apologized, and I
did too. All was going well, the paranormal activity increased, along with signs pointing towards her, this naturally drove me insane; part of me
wanted to believe, but another part fell in denial. But signs, from numerology, or words that would somehow deliver a direct message such as “slow
down” or “It’s her” were more evident than ever. Occasionally I would encounter random people describing her as if they knew her without me
saying a word.
edit on 11-7-2012 by RisenAngel77 because: (no reason given)
edit on 11-7-2012 by RisenAngel77 because: (no reason