A Happy Marriage Poll: Men need RESPECT, Woman need LOVE.

For a Happy Marriage, A man should LOVE his wife and show her his love. Because all woman ever want deep down, is to be loved.

A woman should always RESPECT her husband. A man, by nature, always deems and comands respect as the highest honor of life. If a woman shows RESPECT to her man, her man will shower her the highest level of love she will ever know.

I know this to be true as my future wife and I are practicing this theory now. We were fighting for months on end with no end in site. We started to practice these rules and from day one we noticed how much happier we are.

Now i know all the femanazi are going to jump on me for my words on how woman should respect there men and not the other way around but they hold true.

Men, would you rather have your wife RESPECT you or love you?

Woman, would you rather have your husband’s LOVE you, or respect you?

I think i already know the awnsers to this poll but lets have ATS decide.

I think it's 50/50 for me.
Of course respect is a big thing for me, but what is respect without love?
My wife's respect for me should stem from the love that she has for me.
Anyway, yeah 50/50.

reply to post by camaro68ss


Where you will run into trouble is when people assume that you mean women should be OBEDIENT. Cause, that's kinda how your post came off to me.

Define respect clearly and carefully before you get trampled my friend.

A happy marriage (I had one once) is 50/50 give and take, but my friend, it can't be based on compromising your feelings to make the other person happy. Trust me on that one, if by commanding respect, you are referring to some 1950s notion of stay in the kitchen, good luck.

That said, I do know some women who are like that, and prefer to stay like that. I myself prefer a strong confident woman, too bad she isn't my current wife.

Though she has no problem with being my second wife.

reply to post by camaro68ss

After 22 happy years, it isn't respect, it isn't love.

It's apologising.

Like most things, your ideas are completely backwards. It has been found in many studies women crave respect. You can't love someone you disrespect. You can love them like a pet, not a person.

Most men I've ever met crave love more than anything else. To the point that men who have plenty of respect are carrying a tremendous amount of self-loathing.

People always have things backwards.

Originally posted by phishyblankwaters
reply to post by camaro68ss

 

Where you will run into trouble is when people assume that you mean women should be OBEDIENT. Cause, that's kinda how your post came off to me.

Define respect clearly and carefully before you get trampled my friend.

A happy marriage (I had one once) is 50/50 give and take, but my friend, it can't be based on compromising your feelings to make the other person happy. Trust me on that one, if by commanding respect, you are referring to some 1950s notion of stay in the kitchen, good luck.

That said, I do know some women who are like that, and prefer to stay like that. I myself prefer a strong confident woman, too bad she isn't my current wife.

Though she has no problem with being my second wife.

Respect is respect, no subliminal messages about it.

of course a man needs some love to, this is not an absolute that men only need respect and woman only need love.

Deep down all your wife wants is to be able to curse at you and physically abuse you without you crying about it.
THEN and only then will she respect you.

Originally posted by SibylofErythrae
Like most things, your ideas are completely backwards. It has been found in many studies women crave respect. You can't love someone you disrespect. You can love them like a pet, not a person.

Most men I've ever met crave love more than anything else. To the point that men who have plenty of respect are carrying a tremendous amount of self-loathing.

People always have things backwards.

edit on 9-7-2012 by SibylofErythrae because: (no reason given)

your going to have to explain a little more. "people have it backwards" in your view do men need love and woman need respect?

I wondering what you crave most as a woman/ or man, dont know what gender you are.

do you want more love or more respect.

Originally posted by GmoS719
I think it's 50/50 for me.
Of course respect is a big thing for me, but what is respect without love?
My wife's respect for me should stem from the love that she has for me.
Anyway, yeah 50/50.

You got it backwards, playa. Her love will stem from respect that she has for you. No woman will fall in love with a man she does not respect.

Originally posted by Turkenstein

Originally posted by GmoS719
I think it's 50/50 for me.
Of course respect is a big thing for me, but what is respect without love?
My wife's respect for me should stem from the love that she has for me.
Anyway, yeah 50/50.

You got it backwards, playa. Her love will stem from respect that she has for you. No woman will fall in love with a man she does not respect.

But why would she respect me if she doesn't love me?
Love comes first. IMO anyway.
Either way, you can't have one without the other.

reply to post by camaro68ss

I am pretty sure that both men and women need and want both and not one or the other, and especially not one over the other. As soon as you place one or the other over each-other or weigh them on a scale and categorize them and especially assign them to either male or female. You set them at odds with each other in ways, because I do not think you can have one without the other and one leads into the other and vice versa.

I may not know that much when it comes to this, but I do believe that Lover and Respect go hand in hand.

But hey what do I know I try my darnedest to avoid sh*t like this, but it just keeps coming back stronger then ever each and every time, its like the freaking terminator just when you think you killed it and escaped it and finally got away. It rises up from the ashes like a dam machine, and comes back at you twice as strong in this game called life and love. Of which marriage in its many forms seems to be a knot you can never quite untie or separate from. After all horse and carriage, even if that horse and carriage is not the one most people see, or know about, or are used to.

So I suppose there has to be a way if we can not avoid this and the whole thing, and believe me I tried. I have not yet succeeded. But maybe were all going in the wrong direction, and if so then at least we need to figure out a way to live with each-other without always snapping at each other like cornered animals every time things get a bit to close to each other and we see each other in a new and surprising light, or every time we hit a dam bump in the road. It's dam silly and pointless if you think about it, like a caged animal who can only express itself by biting and clawing at each-other now and then to express its love.

But then again that may be to much to ask for, or it may be not enough to ask for. Who the hell knows? There has got to be ways around this duality stuff and the love and respect paradigm, and ways to get rid of it completely, I can actually think of a few. But then again would I or anybody really want to try them, and in the end I do not think it would be smart at all or a good thing if I/we succeed in eliminating the whole paradigm.

So ya anyways, moral of the story...WTF are you talking about op? Obviously your a crazy person!

I am pretty sure there is no such thing as a constantly happy marriage, only a long line of good and bad events that people will go through and they will either overcome it and move on, or they will not and move apart its part of life and there is not point whatsoever to drag things around, other then that it may be our own personal trials.

And happiness comes and goes in doses just like everything else, and every other emotion in life. But when it is in the minority and it is really small dosses, and it's nothing but a constant uphill battle, then it may be time to call it quits and find another battle and war one which you can win at. But the image that is sold of a constant euphoric googly eyed, love, always on the upbeat relationship and marriage. Well that is just something you see in movies and read about in books.

And there is a reason why its there only in the movies and soapy books, and you only hear about it in those mediums, its because it is a myth. Even if it is based on a reality, and reality is never quite as pretty as the myth and embellishment of that said reality, its basically like frosting on the cake.

reply to post by camaro68ss


Even love of your pet requires you have respect for it.

You can't love without respect.

It is backwards because all men who have respect and no love harbour the worst sorts of self-loathing. But the man with love (and maybe not respect from outside his family) are usually not so unhappy. The man with respect at home and outside home, but no love have the strangest behaviours showing up sublimination of their need for love.

While women all over the world live in a state of pretend love (suppression pretending to be protection and love) and are not happy. The love that people believe that women want is missing the basic foundation of respect.

So both genders need both. But how much they need of each is currently complete opposite of what is presented and indoctrinated.

The woman with little love in her life, but some respect usually gets on but wants love.
The woman who lives in "love" with no respect is not really loved - she is infantilized and treated as a pet. In reality she has neither.

The man with some respect and little love, lives in a pool of self-loathing.
In seeking more respect, the well of need never fills up no matter how much respect he pours into it.
The man who has love, but little respect from outside his family/relationships is more content.

In a relationship, a man can have respect but not have any love. It doesn't make him happier. Since love he gets must come from a basis of respect, if he has love he has both.

In a relationship, if a woman hasn't any respect there is no love. Men don't love what they don't respect.

You can't have love without respect. Many men have respect and deeply are aware of a lack of love. Therefore they need love. Women often don't have any respect, and without respect they have neither love nor respect. Therefore women primarily need respect.

No love without respect.

Originally posted by GmoS719

Originally posted by Turkenstein

Originally posted by GmoS719
I think it's 50/50 for me.
Of course respect is a big thing for me, but what is respect without love?
My wife's respect for me should stem from the love that she has for me.
Anyway, yeah 50/50.

You got it backwards, playa. Her love will stem from respect that she has for you. No woman will fall in love with a man she does not respect.

But why would she respect me if she doesn't love me?
Love comes first. IMO anyway.
Either way, you can't have one without the other.

You can respect someone without loving them. You respect people you don't even know.

Do you respect someone at work? Do you LOVE them? You can respect an enemy - do you love that person? And if so, why are they your enemy?

My wife and I give each other love and respect mutually. It works for us.

Both. I ask for respect and love and i give it back to hubby. I dont want love first, i want respect as a Human being.

Originally posted by beezzer
reply to post by camaro68ss

 

After 22 happy years, it isn't respect, it isn't love.

It's apologising.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T Find out what it means to me R-E-S-P-E-C-T Take care, TCB
Oh (Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me) A little respect
(Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me) Whoa, babe
(Just a little bit) A little respect
(Just a little bit) I get tired
(Just a little bit) Keep on tryin'
(Just a little bit) You're runnin' out of foolin'
(Just a little bit) And I ain't lyin'
(Just a little bit) (Re, re, re, re) 'spect When you come home
(Re, re, re ,re) Or you might walk in
(Respect, just a little bit) And find out I'm gone
(Just a little bit) I got to have
(Just a little bit) A little respect
(Just a little bit)

Aretha votes for "respect"

You know people when you do find somebody
Hold that woman, hold that man Love him, please him, squeeze her, please her, hold her
Squeeze and please that person, give 'em all your love
Signify your feelings with every gentle caress (Signify)
Because it's so important to have that special somebody To hold (Hold), kiss (Kiss), miss (Miss),
squeeze (Squeeze) and please (Please)
Everybody needs somebody (I need you)
Everybody needs somebody to love (Everybody),
someone to love (Needs somebody)
Sweetheart to miss (Everybody)
Sugar to kiss (Needs somebody)
I need you, you, you (You, you, you)
I need you, you, you (You, you, you)

John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd vote for love, seemingly