posted on Jul, 9 2012 @ 09:13 AM
Hello my fello ats mates, I've come to the conclusion that my outlook on who I was and how anyone can always have some sort of controll over their
actions is quite false. I always was and at the same time saw myself as the sort of "go to guy" when someone had a problem or was feeling out of it,
whatever reason it may be I always would try to pass on my teachings and my somewhat rearanged views of how to live a peacefull life with yourself and
others, after years studying/dabbling in Easter philosophy, western religion, writings of western and eastern philosophers such as Alan watts,
Terrence McKenna, ram dass so on and so forth, I thaught I had a good tight grip on what could be called for lack of a better term peace or mindfull
awareness or something like that.
Well to put it in the easiest way to understand it I was wrong. The past 6 months I have strayed from whatever path I was on. I met a woman...I've
been with my share but as with all woman the leave a mark she was and is in my mind different. Now I know nobody wants to hear all the #ty details lol
but for lack of a better way to put it like all great things it was gone before I had the chance to know what I really had. And now I get to my point.
That feeling I've tried to ease in so many of my friends, threw words, threw my company or any way I could cannot be quelled with the magic words of
someone who thinks they know what they are talking about. Wether these feelings are just some hormonal overload or some cosmic division of love I
could care less. It's something that is real in the present moment now. Ive had this feeling of loss quite a few times in my life but since then ive
gotten into alot of alternative subjects wich i thaught helped or would help me understand why i feel this way or help me to have overcome it, and why
others act the way they do even when its not understood at the moment. And would like to just say nobody is safe from the grip of love, it comes, it
goes and it takes one to really observe the way it effects you to truely be able to help someone threw their own difficulties whatever that may be.
And sometimes the best remedy is to let them observe themselves by themselves without a million different opinions on how one should act think of
I know this is kinda incoherent I'm typing on my phone I apologize for any misspelling or wrong grammar, just felt like reaching out to a few people
on here who may know how It feels to love the entire world but the only little piece you truely desire is the one you need to turn your back on again