Originally posted by Treespeaker
reply to post by IpsissimusMagus
The only advice I have on this, after a divorce is. . .
Find someone that loves the person you are, be yourself when you meet people, and when you find someone that loves what you are. . . make sure you
love them for what they are.
Oh and it helps to understand that love is a lot more than words. . .there has to be an equal if not more action.
edit on 9-7-2012 by Treespeaker because: (no reason given)
Sometimes it takes awhile to see what they really are , and if that is something that you don't want, don't try and change it, just hightail it outa
Actions do speak louder than words, but the perception of who took what action, and who didn't is what can get skewed. Some people are so wrapped up
in themselves they don't see all the sacrifices someone else is making, and are blind to the many actions they failed to show.
This happens in marriages as well as after divorce, when trying to build another relationship.
The ol' she said he said story ..and everyone knows one or two of them.
But this is a thread about keeping relationships strong, and so the first step ..in many ways from both sides, would be to be very sure, that the
person you intend to make a life long commitment to is someone that you really do like, and has more qualities that you admire, than ones that you
just can't live with.
Honestly liking the person is a MUST ! ..and taking your time to make sure that this is a person you can be with for a long time is very important in
making it last. How to make that exciting and refreshing, on a continuing basis is both the joy , as well as an effort at times.
As far as specific things a man or a woman can do,I think it depends on the individuals involved. One woman might love flowers, and the other would
rather have a rose bush to plant , that will bloom every year, while another would rather find a hand written note stuck to the mirror in the morning
telling her you think she is beautiful , even with morning hair, and puffy eyes.
Some women need communication, others need more hugs. Some women need some space, and others need more companionship.
Thoughtful gestures that show you are thinking of the her, and what she enjoys, as well as what gives her comfort are all ways of showing love, and
strengthening that bond. A deadly "come hither" look , that says "daaayum you turn me on", doesn't hurt either !
All the best to those who are working on keeping their marriages or partnerships strong