So I guess my question is... Should I be there for her if things go south between them or should I change my number again and move on? I truly love
her and want nothing more than for her to be happy even if it doesn't make me happy. I don't want to be strung along like I'm a back up if it
doesn't work out. Honestly that's kinda how I feel. Is it worth the heartache that I know will ensue if they do end up married? I'm just really
confused at this point. My heart says to talk to her and be there if she needs me but my mind says move along, nothing to see here. Thanks in advance
guys and gals for your help.
This sounds like a typical behavior that women often do, she's very insecure and fears being alone. She may not realize what she is doing is hurtful
to you, she is only thinking about her own feelings, not yours, which is obviously selfish.
But, I will attempt to give you the best advice I can, I suppose.
If staying in contact with her causes any amount of negativity in your life, then I would tell her to leave you alone because you are ready and want
to move on with your life.
I see that you love her. So I can see how you don't want to let her go, and want to be there for her no matter what, this is what unconditional love
is, but this doesn't mean that you should wait around for her to make up her mind. Date others and let her know it. Love her unconditionally and
accept things as they are and for what she is. Separate your emotions from this unconditional love. If she calls you, say hi, give her any advice
she may be looking for, then leave it at that. You control the relationship, you control what she is willing to do to you.
Also, take a look at WHY she calls you. Is it one-sided? What is she looking for? And you may want to ask her bluntly, why are you calling me, what
do you want from this relationship we have? Does she want someone to listen to her, or does she want sympathy? Does she want to feel wanted by
someone else or a back-up if things don't go her way? Throwing it out there may also help her realize her own behavior.
Anyways, the best of luck!! I encourage you to date others, even if you miss her. You deserve it, have gone a long way in sobriety, and deserve all
the love, honor, trust, dignity, and respect--- if you believe this, then it will be easy let her go.