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Originally posted by 74Templar
Or so people would have me believe.
Don’t get me wrong, I have many friends who have paired off that really don’t care about my preferred status. But I get it a lot in this world, that somehow a preference to stay on my own is not normal.
In a nutshell I have been through two failed marriages and three other failed long-term relationships, and put simply, I just can’t make it work out. Whether it be selfishness on my part, or a preference to be alone, I couldn’t say. All I can say is when I am in relationships, I am miserable. When I am single, I’m not. I don’t know how else to explain it, but I can tell you one thing is for certain, what seems a normal choice to me, is completely against the rules according to the mainstream.
Let me give you a few examples.
At a recent school sports day I was one of the few single dads there. They had a race for fun between the kids and their parents. Of course the mothers there were in force as usual, and lining up to race their kids. When it came my turn I swear everyone looked around as I put my hand up as though looking for my kid’s mother.
“Oh. I guess we have a dad here.” What? Of course you do. Is that so hard to believe?
And of course I have the well-meaning work colleagues and friends, who despite on the surface accept my reasons for wanting to be single, constantly seek to try and “hook me up” with other singles. To be honest it’s infuriating.
At a party on the weekend, of course there are your couples, and your singles. Most of the people there that are single, are like me. Just not interested. Of course one of my work colleagues just has to bring a single friend along, and spend the next half hour trying to essentially slam us together, to see if we stick. Even I could see she was about as into that idea as I was. Thankfully my colleague eventually gave up. Later on, just for the hell of it I talked to her, and she admitted the same as what I was thinking. That it was obvious that we were two singles, and of course everyone just thought that we should hook up just because of that. We did actually get along quite well, but she had the same idea as me. Why is it that people who are already coupled seem to think that people who are single are forever desparately seeking a partner?
I’m quite happy being single. I have enough to do with a family and work, and to be honest don’t really want to put myself or another person through a relationship again. The bottom line is I have enough single friends that if I need a “date,” I can ask one of them and vice versa.
Does anyone else share this lack of need to be partnered up? Or am I just, as my friends imply, not normal?
Kudos to you. Don't let some crazy woman continue to control you. Be free.
Originally posted by kaylaluv
Originally posted by TDawgRex
Originally posted by 74Templar
reply to post by phroziac
You do get over it. I guess I just weigh up the good with the bad, and staying single just comes out on top every time.
All I can suggest if you are keen on this woman, and she is available, is be aloof. Act like you don't care. They seem to come running every time I do that.
I've noticed this behaviour in woman I've dated as well. What's up with that? I prefer to be honest and upfront with the one I care about so when I've done this tactic, it always felt weird and wrong. But it always worked.
Is there a woman on this thread that can posit a response as to why this works?
I am a woman, and I have no idea why the women you know respond better to jerks. I, myself, have always preferred that a man let me know if he was interested in me. Now, I have had stalker-type men harass me -- and that is pretty creepy, so there is a boundary that one shouldn't cross. By stalker, I mean someone who calls you 3-4 times a day, shows up at your workplace multiple times a week (uninvited), follows you around everywhere, etc.
Again, I think you guys may be hitting up the wrong women. There's got to be some decent girls out there who aren't into total game-playing. Maybe they aren't drop-dead gorgeous, so they don't interest you?? I don't know, but when I was single, I had many single girlfriends. Some of those girls WERE into playing games and trying to find the guy with the most money, but there were also girls that weren't into that at all. I know they exist... because I was one of them.
Originally posted by TDawgRex
Originally posted by kaylaluv
Originally posted by TDawgRex
Originally posted by 74Templar
reply to post by phroziac
You do get over it. I guess I just weigh up the good with the bad, and staying single just comes out on top every time.
All I can suggest if you are keen on this woman, and she is available, is be aloof. Act like you don't care. They seem to come running every time I do that.
I've noticed this behaviour in woman I've dated as well. What's up with that? I prefer to be honest and upfront with the one I care about so when I've done this tactic, it always felt weird and wrong. But it always worked.
Is there a woman on this thread that can posit a response as to why this works?
I am a woman, and I have no idea why the women you know respond better to jerks. I, myself, have always preferred that a man let me know if he was interested in me. Now, I have had stalker-type men harass me -- and that is pretty creepy, so there is a boundary that one shouldn't cross. By stalker, I mean someone who calls you 3-4 times a day, shows up at your workplace multiple times a week (uninvited), follows you around everywhere, etc.
Again, I think you guys may be hitting up the wrong women. There's got to be some decent girls out there who aren't into total game-playing. Maybe they aren't drop-dead gorgeous, so they don't interest you?? I don't know, but when I was single, I had many single girlfriends. Some of those girls WERE into playing games and trying to find the guy with the most money, but there were also girls that weren't into that at all. I know they exist... because I was one of them.
Thanks for the reply. When one of my relationships gets, um, stale or maybe stagnant is a better word or maybe it's the one sided conversations...I don't know, I will become standoffish myself and start to ignore her. If she won't tell me what is bothering her, than so be it. I don't like being this way, but as they say, situation dictates.
Not all of my former girlfriends have come running back, but most have and it only lasts for a short period of time.
I have came to the conclusion ten years ago that I don't want a needy woman. I just want one that wants me back. Pretty simple, eh?
Originally posted by corvuscorrax
I'll assume that simple comment was sarcasm or else you're implying that you intend to enact some gross injustice to any woman you date and won't know you love her until she accepts you for your intentional aloof demeanor?
Originally posted by zonetripper2065
reply to post by 74Templar
I think you might be imagining this. I don't know anybody who goes around judging people for being sinlge I mean besides the little girls back in 6th grade Stop being Paranoid
I’m quite happy being single ...Does anyone else share this lack of need to be partnered up?
Single by choice is often a choice most people don't have the strength to make.